Wednesday November 18, 2009
I speak fairly regularly about myself in this blog, whether it be my own dating experiences or those of my friends, family and clients. You know me pretty well if you're a regular reader of this blog, but other than those of you who share your stories through the dating blog or dating forums, I don't know you at all.
So today, I'd like to give you the floor. Who are you? Why do you visit the dating site? Are you in a relationship, dating, or want to be? Do you love to talk about dating and relationships as much as I do? Please share your answers at the bottom of this message. I'd also love it if you voted in my dating polls, specifically the one about what you'd like to see on this site.
Friday November 13, 2009
According to the October 2009 edition of Psychology Today (Buy Direct
), when we interact with someone we feel physical attraction to, we lose the capability to perform simple cognitive tasks. Worse still, the stronger the physical attraction, the worse things get.
Researchers at Radboud University in Holland discovered this behavioral hiccup - as many people who have suffered from a dating disaster already know - by asking people to take a basic cognitive test after interacting with another person. The more physical attraction, the worse the men's performances, irregardless if the gent was in a relationship or not. Women also fared negligibly, although not nearly as badly as the men did.
Why the embarrassing behavior? When trying to attract someone, a lot of our focus ends up in trying to make a good impression. This leads to small but sometimes significant flub ups with motor control and how we hold ourselves physically, such as tripping when you see an attractive woman or being tongue tied when you run into a hot guy.
The take away? Don't beat yourself up too much if you are a klutz around someone you like, because it happens to most of us (but more so men than women). And for those attracted to men, if the man suddenly starts acting oddly or becomes more accident prone around you, its a good bet he's interested, suffering from this unfortunate situation, and trying his best to make a great first impression. Take it as a compliment, and try to cut him a bit of slack if you can.
Related: The Law Of Attraction, New Law Of Attraction - Have Them Come To You, How Much Do Looks Matter?
Source: Huston, Matthew. "Tongue Tied." Psychology Today September/October 2009 Vol 42, No 5:17.
Sunday November 8, 2009
A reader asks, "We had a great first date two weeks ago, but I haven't heard from him since about a second date. When will he call?"
I've answered with a bit more breadth in
When Will He Call For A Second Date, but basically I'll say that after two weeks if the guy hasn't even touched base with you its time to move on. I'll also recommend picking up a copy of Why Didn't He Call You Back by Rachel Greenwald (
Buy Direct). In it, the author shares her findings regarding 1,000 men, and why they didn't call their dates back. I think almost every single woman will find herself in at least one of the categories listed, and it might provide you with some constructive feedback as to what to do in the future.
Friday November 6, 2009
Welcome to the November 6, 2009 edition of the dating blog carnival. There were more submissions than I knew what to do with - and with room for only a few, that posed a bit of a problem. Still, that means there's demand once again to get this carnival off the ground. So without further fanfare, here are my favorite picks this time around.
Danny Dagan over at
That Danny shares an interesting dating advice piece called
Dear Danny - What to do with an Internet Stalker?. One of his readers, a 27-year-old woman, asks Danny what to do about her ex who contacted her on Facebook. I was thrilled to see that Danny, like myself, doesn't see attempts at random chat on Facebook as stalking.
Tip Diva suggests in her article Top Ten Tips - Meeting Someone Offline that, among other things, singles should either Google their date or hire a firm to perform a background check on them before meeting face to face. While I think that particular suggestion is terribly extreme (and don't recommend it), her other suggestions are simple but work.
Ah,
Madeleine Begun Kane is back again with her irreverent dating-related poetry. My Confession is her contribution this week, which was originally posted at Mad Kane's Humor Blog.
Staying with the humor theme, P.L. Frederick shares You Know The Date's Over When... (Part 1) posted at Small and Big. A short, sweet and tongue in cheek list for those who need a giggle.
bookfundas shares a quick dating book review of Allan Pease's provocative Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps.
Rachel Sarah, aka Single Mom Seeking over at Singlemommyhood.com wants to know Why do single moms date married men? Its another provocative topic, and I've asked myself the same question a few times as well. Rachel has decided to review the reasons, and her readers go into great detail as to why they agree or disagree.
Shauna Heathman, an Image Consultant posting over at Mackenzie's Blog rounds out this week's top picks with You've Let Yourself Go ? A relationship guru offers insight. Focusing on why men (although the conversation works just as well for women) decide they no longer need to take care of themselves once they get comfy in a long term relationship.
That concludes this edition. To submit your blog article to the next edition of dating using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
