I remember as a child eagerly looking forward to the handmade Valentine's Day cards my classmates would craft and share with one another, and as a teen/young adult I would get a handful from the kids I coached or babysat. I've still kept a handful of them in a memento box, because the thought and care put into them were truly touching.

I still enjoy receiving handmade Valentine's Day gifts, but there's nothing like a Valentine's Day card, even from a dear friend or loved one. For those who are in need of cheap Valentine's Day ideas, why not make a card your partner will want to keep forever? Here are some ideas:

• Making Valentine's Day Cards - from the Guide to Parenting Adolescents
• Create a Valentine - from the Guide to Family Crafts
• Valentine's Day Sentiments - from the Guide to Rubber Stamping
• Manga Valentine's Day Card - from the Guide to Drawing and Sketching
• Cardmaking for Valentine's Day - from the Guide to Scrapbooking

• Printable Valentine's Day Cards - from the Guide to Homeschooling
• Free Valentine's Day Stencils - from the Guide to Painting
• Vintage Valentine's Day Cards To Email - from the Guide to Romantic Travel
• Top Valentine's Day Letter Templates For IncrediMail - from the Guide to Email

If you're anything like me, you'll be spending Sunday night curled up with a good movie, book, and/or soundtrack and making something delectable to eat. I'll talk about what sort of romantic foods to delve into another day, but today - let's talk about what to read, watch and listen to. Romantic Films

• Dinner and a Movie Date Ideas
• Best Date Movies of All Time
• Top Romantic Movies - from our Guide to Home Video
• AFI's Top Love Stories - from our Guide to Movies
• Classic Romantic Movies - from our Guide to Classic Film
• Top Indie Romantic Films - from our Guide to World Film

• Romantic Idea - Book Hijack
• Romance Classics - by our Guide to Classic Literature
• Love Quotes - from our Guide to Quotations
• Immortal Love Legends - from our Guide to Hinduism
• Top Anime Love Stories - from our Guide to Anime

• Top Latin Romantic Albums - from our Guide to Latin Music
• Classical Music of Romance - from our Guide to Classical Music
• Top 100 Country Music Love Songs Of All Time - by our Guide to Country Music
• Top 10 Love Song CDs - by our Guide to Oldies Music
• Top 100 Love Songs - from our Guide to Top 40
• Top 10 Christian Love Songs - by our Guide to Christian Music

How important is Valentine's Day to you? The answer to that might determine if you're morose about being alone or happy about celebrating Valentine's Day single.

But what if instead, those who are still single/single again amongst us, decided to claim Valentine's Day as our own? As a day to celebrate love in all of its forms, including most importantly the ability to love oneself - no matter how we feel about February 14th?

So say instead of looking at the cheap Valentine's Day ideas that I've written from the perspective as a person part of a couple, you look at the suggestions instead as a single person pampering themselves like no one else can. Maybe all you want to do is curl up with a good book and a mug of cold beer - why not take advantage, avoid the Valentine's Day crowd, and plan for it? Or maybe being social is more your thing - so why not throw a Valentine's Day costume party for all of your single friends?

Are you single this Valentine's Day? What do you plan on doing, if anything?

When I was in the later stages of school, there was a painful list that circulated amongst my peers: the hottest girl list. I sadly never made the list, and although most of the folks who both created it and were on it are now on my Facebook page, I couldn't imagine ever posting it on Facebook - even many years later.

Fast forward a decade (or two) and the hottest kid in class list has morphed to a hook up list: a list of people that you want to get with (depending on your definition of a hook up) with a timeline as to when and where, as well as dates/places as to where the deed(s) occured. The first thought that crossed my mind when I heard of hook up lists was: should anyone ever get a hold of such a list and do something, er, unsavory with it? Mortifying.

And yet, this is exactly what happened somewhere in small town America a few weeks ago according to Nerve.com. (Warning here folks: most of the graphic language has been blanked out, but the link might still be offensive to more sensitive readers).

In a nutshell, there are two siblings in this story: Katie and Chris. Chris was busted via his sister for having alcohol in his room and was grounded for three months. In retaliation, Chris rifled through Katie's things, found her hook up list, posted it to Facebook, and then tagged all of the gents in the list. (For those who don't use Facebook, you can post an image or note on Facebook, and then attach people's names/user names to the item so that it appears in their timeline and for their friends to see).

I don't agree with what young Chris did by any means; the damage done by this sort of behavior can't be undone. But I do think, even with the possibility that someone might find it, that hook up lists are an important part of growing up - as well as staying safe sexually. Why? Because by keeping a hook up list, not only are we detailing our crushes and dreams in journal-like form, but we're keeping track of our partners, irregardless of whether or not penetrative intercourse took place. And if someone is engaging in some sort of sexual contact with more than one partner at a time, this kind of list could prove invaluable should an STD be the outcome of said adventures.

But what do you think? Are hook up lists important, icky, or something in between? Did/do you have a hook up list? Why or why not?

Related: Safe Sex 'Passport', How To Talk About Safe Oral Sex, Before You Have Sex.

I'm not a huge Valentine's Day person, I'll admit. But the year that the person I was dating at the time made me both a gift (a photo book) and dinner (a luxurious all-out affair) is one that I'll never, ever forget. So if you're the crafty type who wants to make something special for your sweetie - or hey, even for yourself if you're single - then some of my fellow Guides here at About.com have the digs:

Valentine's Day Knitting Projects
My favorite? The XOXO scarf, which I've knit a few times myself.

Beaded Safety Pin Patterns
Maybe for the younger set, but still fun nonetheless.

Valentine's Day Quilts
Ok, you might not have time to make a whole quilt before February 14th, but maybe you do if you start now? Quilters, you'll have to chime in on this one.

Valentine's Day Soap Projects
Ooh, yummy. Ok I think I might have to try a few of these myself. Not for my partner. No, no. For myself! Hm, or maybe I'll try making these cocoa butter massage bars instead.

Fabric Heart Treat Bag
From our Guide to Sewing, a cute little bag to make that could hold something small but significant.

Valentine's Day Pottery Projects
A vase to hold those valentine's day flowers perhaps?

Valentine's Day Painting Projects
Wow, there's a huge list of ideas and projects to choose from here, most of which are perfect for beginners.

Valentine's Day Jewelry Making Projects
A three page list of jewelry projects, mostly for women, that are skewed from beginners to advanced levels.

Draw a Manga Valentine's Day Card
Unusual but perfect for the manga-lover in your life.

Crocheted Valentine's Day Arrangement
With a few flowers from your garden, this would make a lovely gift.

Free Bead Patterns for Valentine's Day
A handful of cute, small projects from the Guide to Beadwork.

Love Coupons
Inexpensive and easy enough for anyone to do, you can use the list of ideas presented here or make your own. Make Your Own Valentine's Day Cards
So much more personal when you do it yourself, with the help of some ink and stamps.

Create a Romantic Presentation
Alright, so its not quite crafty, but it is DIY. Use Powerpoint to make your partner a Valentine's Day themed presentation with the tips and tricks suggested here.

With Valentine's Day creeping nearer with each day, I thought I'd focus the next few weeks on the lovers holiday, and what it means for both dating singles and couples. Today I'm doing a quick run through of love throughout time, and how some of the ideas attached to February 14th came to be regular everyday conversations.

• Immortal Love Legends from the About.com Guide to Hinduism: If you aren't familiar with Hinduism, one of its basic foundations is a series of love stories that are both breathtaking and awe-inspiring. If you're wanting for some love stories that'll inspire and teach, this is the place to start.


• Love Goddesses from the About.com Guide to Ancient History: Some of the more well-known Goddesses are covered in this series including Aphrodite and Venus - but what about Isis or Freya? And then of course there is the God of love, Cupid, of whom Valentine's Day revolves around (depending on your version of how Valentine's Day came to be).


• Love Magic from the About.com Guide to Paganism and Wicca: Are love spells considered ok in the Wiccan community? The ethics of love magic is still debated amongst those who practice the religion, but if you'd like a primer on what they are and how they came to be you'll find what you need here.


• Feng Shui For Love Relationships: Developed over 3,000 years ago in Asia, Feng Shui is another way view love and relationships throughout history and how we've adapted over the years to pursue romantic interests.


• Romance Through The Ages from the About.com Guide to Geneaology: Dating and courtship has come a long way since ancient and medieval times, and a fascinating path its been. Tie that into the history of Valentine's Day and you've got quite the love story.

Related: What Is Love?, How Do I Know I'm In Love?

If you or your sweetie have been dropping hints this year to go somewhere special this Valentine's Day, now is the time to plan and book your romantic getaway - or a staycation if the idea suits your pocketbook or work requirements more. Some ideas:

• Valentines Day Getaway Packages in the Western US
• Southwest US Valentine Getaways
• Island Valentine Vacations
• Valentines Day Cruises

• Buy some massage oils or bars (Buy Direct) and make a night of working through a whole book devoted to the subject together, such as Sensual Massage Made Simple (Buy Direct).
• Gather together the fixings for each of your favorite sundae toppings, and then have fun making the ultimate masterpiece for each other instead of doing it yourself.
• Play a couples game together, letting the winner choose his or her prize beforehand. Perhaps breakfast in bed, or a fantasy lived out? Its your choice.
• Ladies, there are a great many Valentine's Day costumes to dress up in, or both of you could dress up and play out some of your more original or unique daydreams with your partner. (For costume ideas, try the Halloween Costumes for Couples or Singles articles - some of the singles options are particular sexy and appropriate).

Are you going away this Valentine's Day, or stay at home and spend some quality time with the person you're dating?

Linds asks: "I was in a relationship with a guy 14 years younger than me - I'm 37 and he's 23. He adored me, the sex life was great and he was the one who was always saying he loved me and that he wanted to be with me forever. I also have a 6 year old boy but he felt that wasn't a problem.

Suddenly, four months into the relationship he started saying that he wasn't good enough for me that he wasn't good at relationships. Of course he still loved me and it was nothing to do with my wee boy, although he did state he was not ready to be a family. Interestingly, I have never mentioned us being a family and was certainly not looking for it, although I had always stated that I came as a package with my son an my son always came first. He said that was never a problem and went so far as to praise me as a mum.

Anyway. Now wants us to see each other but with no commitment and no relationship - although there would still be sex. Neither of us would see anyone else but if someone came along for me he wouldn't stand in my way. I don't know what to do because I do love him deeply and thought we might have a future but never mentioned it to him. What do I do?"

Read more...

Rani asks: My best friend got me and her childhood friend to start talking, but he lives 6 hours away from me and I've never met him. He told her initially he's not looking for a gf, which was cool because I figured we could be friends. We talked for HOURS on the phone. For 4 months we were close. Then he started saying things like, I cant wait to see you, you're so interesting, you're my best friend. That got me really excited, and I thought maybe he meant as more than just friends.

I'd planned to meet him at a wedding near his place as a friend of mine had invited me. I told him about it, but then on the advice of my friends started playing games and told him I wanted to meet him, and then told him I didn't... I was all over the map. And then I read He's Just Not That Into You, which got me REALLY REALLY depressed. This girl in the book said, "I got empowered and I said I don't need to talk to you anymore," so that night I texted him confessing that I was into him and that it sucks when the guy your into doesn't like you back. For 2-3 weeks after that he didn't call.

I contacted him to see what was up because I got impatient, and he told me he was sorry for everything but just wanted to be friends. So we talked for two hours, and he said he might be coming with my brother to visit soon but, "Don't go all nuts on me if I don't". I told him I'm cool - and I want to SHOW him that I'm cool. I regret playing games with this guy and really want to see him more than anything in the world. Do you think I can get him back, or is he always going to think of me as the crazy girl? Read more...

The front page of a newspaper loudly states, "Killer Looking For Love Online". Although the article is biased and quite sarcastic (as evidenced by the author's byline, "Inside Edge") it does point out an interesting topic for debate: do inmates deserve love too?

In the article in question, the author speaks of the violent, destructive crimes the inmate is convicted of: "a life sentence of first degree mass murder," where the inmate set a house on fire with five people inside, including three children, because he was convinced one of the residents had ratted him out to the police about another, unrelated stabbing. All pretty convincing information, for sure - information that isn't shared in the inmate's 250 word online dating profile that cost $79.95/year to create.

What changes the entire tone of the debate however is that the inmate used a dating site specifically geared towards inmates called PrisonPenPals.com. Most inmates have limited access to the internet, so dating sites geared towards convicted criminals usually accept applications by mail only for their online dating sites.

So the folks who are perusing these pen pal/dating sites for inmates are already aware the people on them have done something that society deems they shouldn't have. What many don't know however, is what they were convicted of. An exception to this rule is a site called Women Behind Bars, which I've highlighted in my list of Strange Love dating sites, where each inmate has whatever they were convicted for listed prominently.

My question to you therefore is this: if an inmate has signed up for a dating site that caters to their incarceration, is it ok? Does the fact that the site has already predetermined all users are behind bars make it clear enough, or should inmates be barred altogether from finding love online? Does what they've been convicted of matter, or should only certain types of inmates be allowed to seek love online?

_{Reference: Ethan Baron. (2010, January 15). Mass Murderer Seeks 'Upbeat' Penpal; He's Lonely: Nathan Fry Set Fire To A House, Killing 5 People. The Province, A.4.}

The official eHarmony blog had an interesting post that seems to have gotten missed by many of the relationship bloggers over the holidays, one that discussed recent research regarding the correlation between one's height and how jealous they were of their partner.

The post is dense with information, so let's see if I can boil it down a bit (for references to all statements, visit the original post):

• Several studies have found that taller males are seen as being more dominant, attractive and virile;
• Women choose taller partners when they are ovulating or looking for casual sex;
• The study accurately predicted that taller men were less jealous than their shorter counterparts, with the tallest men being the least jealous all around;
• Even though the tallest men were less jealous, they were more likely to be aggressive with potential rivals and demand more time with their partners, whereas shorter men chose to focus on, "...the love and care that they show their partner".

Women on the other hand were a completely different story:

• Women of average height are the most attractive to men and have more success with conception than their shorter or taller counterparts;
• Women of average height were the least jealous of their partners; and
• The shorter a woman is, the more she felt other women were a threat to her relationship.

What can we draw from this research? From what I can tell, it seems that the more attractive someone is to the general public, the less jealous the person is. Why? The study's take was that if someone feels like they are in demand, it positively affects their ability to compete with any other potential romantic rivals.

What's your take on this new study? Do you think taller men and average height women are less jealous, and shorter women and men are the most jealous of the bunch? Will this jealousy research affect your choice in dating partners?

Related: Does Facebook Create Jealous People?, I'm Jealous Of Her Guy Friends, When Is Jealousy Healthy?

Several of my fellow dating bloggers have created a Top 10 list of posts for 2009, and I was intrigued and fascinated by what made their most sought after lists (see: Living Single, Sex At Dawn, Dating and Mating in America).

Curious, I wanted to check and see what you, the readers of this blog, found to be the most fascinating for 2009. So without further ado, here are the top 10:

• How Do You Know When You're In Love?
• The Definition of Dating
• What Do Teenage Boys Want In A Relationship?
• How Long Do You Wait To Have Sex?
• Dating Younger Men
• Should My Teenage Daughter Have Overnighters With Her Boyfriend?
• The Gay eHarmony
• Does He Like Me As A Friend Or More?
• Romance Through Text Messages
• Can Casual Sex Turn Into A Relationship?

Want your dating question to be featured here in 2010, maybe to make the top-read list for the year? Feel free to ask it in the comments, in the dating forum for other readers to respond to, or via this form so I can try to reply personally.

... or so says a recently released study shared in the Journal of Marriage and Family, as reported by Science News. Almost all of the participants in the study (96%!) were found to have "strong distrust" of the opposite sex, yet when asked about their current relationship, they stated it was of a "trusting" nature. As well, the distrust of said men didn't stop these low income women from entering into romantic, long term relationships.

I have to say that reading this study made me pause, as did the friends I shared it with. The actual information didn't surprise any of us. Rather, the percentage of women is what was frightening. Do virtually all lower income women find men untrustworthy? And if so, why are they entering into relationships with essentially the same gender they have obvious unresolved issues with?

The study went on to say that because of this mismatched trust (feeling distrustful of men in general but stating that their current relationship was trustworthy) put the women who were a part of the study at further risk for unhealthy relationships, basically doing whatever they had to to give their partner the benefit of the doubt.

What do you think about the findings of this study? What would you suggest to low income moms, or the men who date them, in response to this study?

Related: When Not To Date

Every few months eHarmony offers its users - paid or otherwise - a free weekend to contact other members. New Years was one of those weekends, but they've decided to extend the offer another few days until tomorrow (Tuesday, January 4th, 2010) at midnight.

To receive the free offer, either log in in to your eHarmony account or sign up for a new one - just be aware eHarmony isn't like most dating sites, in that you have to be matched by the system to connect with someone, and most folks don't get relevant, local matches for a few weeks at best. That's why I suggest all singles sign up to use their free compatibility matching (a test that takes about an hour to complete, and totally free) and then wait for one of eHarmony's juicy coupons to be delivered to their email mailbox in a month or three. Or, wait for a free eHarmony weekend such as this one.

Related: eHarmony Review, Compatible Partners - eHarmony's Gay Dating Site

Janelle asks, "I have been in relationship with a guy for the past 7 months. Now he is saying that he is not looking for a commitment, but thinks that I am. Does he just not want to be with me anymore?"

If your partner of 7 months is suddenly telling you now he doesn't want a commitment, then he's basically saying he doesn't want to be monogamous - whether he has been or not up to this point isn't clear.

If you do want a commitment from him, then its time for you to move on, because his statement clearly says he's not interested in that right now. Does it have anything to do with you? I can't tell from what you've shared, but it really doesn't matter. If you want a commitment and he doesn't, then its time to move on, heal, and then start dating again to meet someone who wants the same things you do.

Now, if you are one of the few women who aren't looking for a commitment, then he may be suggesting he wants an open relationship, that he wants to casually date other people, or that he feels things are getting too serious between the two of you. No way to tell unless you talk to him about it though, and let him know how you feel if you do happen to be on the same page.

Related: Is He Afraid Of Commitment?, Are You Ready To Commit To Each Other? Quiz, The Whys and Hows Of Letting Go.

Casey asks a dating question: "We've been dating a few months now, and I feel like I'm falling in love with my boyfriend. How can I tell he feels the same way without asking him outright?"

I once counseled a preteen girl who had told me she had a boyfriend for a day. No one knew that she had a boyfriend, and they didn't do anything but read a book together. She told me that she broke up with him because she realized she didn't like him "like that", but wanted to know if she'd done the right thing. My answer? "When you meet someone that you are so excited about, so enraptured over, that you can't help but want to yell off the top of the mountain how amazing they make you feel -- you'll know. Because if he was meant to be your boyfriend, you wouldn't want to keep him a secret." And that dear reader, is fairly similar advice to what I'll give you. Read more...

Its that time of year again - when we all reflect and review on what happened in the past twelve months, and award the best and worst of awards to the most deserving of dating sites.

The categories this year are:

• Best Paid Dating Site
• Best Free Dating Site
• Best Niche Dating Site
• Worst Dating Site

You can vote in each category, choosing more than one dating site if you feel its appropriate. Please comment if you think I've missed a dating site, but if you'd like to share your experiences with a particular dating site, please find it in my master list of dating sites, and after clicking on the appropriate site, please share your thoughts and experiences there.

Its a tricky question, but as we near the end of 2009, I've been thinking more and more about what events, people, research, websites, concepts and information have changed the face of dating in the past decade.

As I sift through the options (and there are a lot!) I'd love to hear what you think were some of the most impactful and important dating-related things that came about in the past 10 years. Speed dating perhaps? Books like The Rules (Buy Direct), or He's Just Not That Into You? What about shows like Sex in the City, The Pickup Artist or Queer As Folk/The L Word? Or even the whole concept of pickup artistry as an 'art form', or the increasing number of singles moving towards casual relationships as opposed to long term relationships or marriage? And if I'm going to bring up the whole casual sex and hooking up phenomena, then I also have to mention the numbers that show fewer and fewer cohabitating couples getting married in North America and not using moving in together as a relationship test. I might also want to add online dating, although it did start before 90s but only became mainstream over the past couple of years.

So what about you? What do you think were the most important dating events of the past decade, and why?

Plainbutnotjane in the dating forum asks: "I'm 29 and plain as in not pretty. Think of a cross between Ellen Degeneres and Gisele Bundchen in the face, my features are strong and would look better on a man than a woman. I'm in good condtion, 5' 8" and a size 8, I'm healthy. Good teeth, good hair, I'd make a great show horse.

I'm not sure yet but I might be befriended for the purpose of dating by a nice looking successful man. I'm not about to get my hopes up, I've accepted that I'm not the ideal most men are looking for. At the same time I have butterflies when I get a text or call from him. Then I think why would he waste his time with me when he can do better?

If you're a guy, have you ever dated a plain woman when you could do better? Why? And if you're a woman, are you plain and if so have you dated successfully? Read more...

Its rare that a week goes by where I don't get asked by a reader through the dating forums or dating advice request form whether or not I think their love will last. Thing is, its a very difficult question to answer - especially since I'm only getting as much information as the reader cares to share. Plus, even a healthy relationship can be thrown depending on a variety of factors no one really wants to plan for: the passing of a loved one, losing a job, a sudden health crisis, etc.

Still, there are some common factors that can help guide us towards seeing whether or not a love relationship will stand the test of time. Things like trust and levels of commitment, how friends and family view the relationship and how long you've been together for instance. So I've compiled these known traits into a quiz to help those of you asking along the path: Will Our Love Last? Quiz

But what about you? What do you think are the markers for a long lasting, healthy relationship?

I speak fairly regularly about myself in this blog, whether it be my own dating experiences or those of my friends, family and clients. You know me pretty well if you're a regular reader of this blog, but other than those of you who share your stories through the dating blog or dating forums, I don't know you at all.

So today, I'd like to give you the floor. Who are you? Why do you visit the dating site? Are you in a relationship, dating, or want to be? Do you love to talk about dating and relationships as much as I do? Please share your answers at the bottom of this message. I'd also love it if you voted in my dating polls, specifically the one about what you'd like to see on this site.

According to the October 2009 edition of Psychology Today (Buy Direct), when we interact with someone we feel physical attraction to, we lose the capability to perform simple cognitive tasks. Worse still, the stronger the physical attraction, the worse things get.

Researchers at Radboud University in Holland discovered this behavioral hiccup - as many people who have suffered from a dating disaster already know - by asking people to take a basic cognitive test after interacting with another person. The more physical attraction, the worse the men's performances, irregardless if the gent was in a relationship or not. Women also fared negligibly, although not nearly as badly as the men did.

Why the embarrassing behavior? When trying to attract someone, a lot of our focus ends up in trying to make a good impression. This leads to small but sometimes significant flub ups with motor control and how we hold ourselves physically, such as tripping when you see an attractive woman or being tongue tied when you run into a hot guy.

The take away? Don't beat yourself up too much if you are a klutz around someone you like, because it happens to most of us (but more so men than women). And for those attracted to men, if the man suddenly starts acting oddly or becomes more accident prone around you, its a good bet he's interested, suffering from this unfortunate situation, and trying his best to make a great first impression. Take it as a compliment, and try to cut him a bit of slack if you can.

Related: The Law Of Attraction, New Law Of Attraction - Have Them Come To You, How Much Do Looks Matter?

_{Source: Huston, Matthew. "Tongue Tied." Psychology Today September/October 2009 Vol 42, No 5:17.}

Welcome to the November 6, 2009 edition of the dating blog carnival. There were more submissions than I knew what to do with - and with room for only a few, that posed a bit of a problem. Still, that means there's demand once again to get this carnival off the ground. So without further fanfare, here are my favorite picks this time around.

Tip Diva suggests in her article Top Ten Tips - Meeting Someone Offline that, among other things, singles should either Google their date or hire a firm to perform a background check on them before meeting face to face. While I think that particular suggestion is terribly extreme (and don't recommend it), her other suggestions are simple but work. Ah,

Madeleine Begun Kane is back again with her irreverent dating-related poetry. My Confession is her contribution this week, which was originally posted at Mad Kane's Humor Blog.

Staying with the humor theme, P.L. Frederick shares You Know The Date's Over When... (Part 1) posted at Small and Big. A short, sweet and tongue in cheek list for those who need a giggle.

bookfundas shares a quick dating book review of Allan Pease's provocative Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps.

Rachel Sarah, aka Single Mom Seeking over at Singlemommyhood.com wants to know Why do single moms date married men? Its another provocative topic, and I've asked myself the same question a few times as well. Rachel has decided to review the reasons, and her readers go into great detail as to why they agree or disagree.

Shauna Heathman, an Image Consultant posting over at Mackenzie's Blog rounds out this week's top picks with You've Let Yourself Go ? A relationship guru offers insight. Focusing on why men (although the conversation works just as well for women) decide they no longer need to take care of themselves once they get comfy in a long term relationship.

That concludes this edition. To submit your blog article to the next edition of dating using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Last year I used to host a dating and relationships blog carnival here, but because of lack suitable posts I had to discontinue the carnival. However several readers and a few colleagues have mentioned the carnival and how much they enjoyed reading it, so I've decided to revamp to see how it goes on a monthly schedule.

If you are interested in sharing a blog post that related to singles, dating and relationships with our readers, please read over the dating blog carnival guidelines for more information.

As a Canadian, I've already celebrated Thanksgiving this year, and am grateful that I avoided another Thanksgiving dating disaster. It is my firm belief that I was able to reduce holiday stress with some careful planning and forethought.

So don't let the pressure of the holidays get to you! Start planning now, whether its to meet someone new during the holidays, celebrate being single, meeting the parents, planning a romantic dinner or trying to please both of your families.

Only a few months after introducing their new, free dating site, Match.com's Down To Earth has morphed into Stir.com, a portal for what's new and hot in the nightlife scene. According to their tagline: "People. Places. Parties. Stir is here to help you find the best of all of them."

Users who had previously registered with Down To Earth have automatically been moved to the new portal, although members who aren't interested in the lifestyle site can log in to either company and go to the account preferences page to have their account removed. However when I logged into Stir.com to see what the story was for myself, I was unable to locate this page. Users will however receive an email informing them of this change, and how to unsubscribe if need be.

Is it worth migrating to Stir.com, or keeping your profile active? In my opinion, it depends on what you're after in the dating world. If Stir.com becomes anything like long-standing nightlife portal ClubZone, you'll definitely meet new people through the service that have similar interests and tastes. But when I went to look and see who else in my area had signed up - or even what was going on this weekend - I was met with an error message that repeatedly stated, "Our site may be experiencing technical difficulties, or we may be working to improve this area of the site," along with an ad to another singles dating site.

UPDATE: A kind gentleman from Match.com contacted me after I posted this blog entry, advising me that Stir.com "doesn't currently have any event data in Canada," which would explain why I wasn't able to see much on the site (being a Canadian). The company however is looking into the errors to see if something else is amiss. If you've used Stir.com, feel free to post in the comments your experiences with the new service.

Related: Get Over Your Fears About Meeting New People, Places To Meet Singles, Top Free Dating Sites.

A new, short lived series called Dating in the Dark (6 episodes in its first season, pending the ok for season number two) has gotten me thinking about attraction, chemistry, and how much looks really matter to singles and dating couples.

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Dawn asks, "What is your opinion on flirting with others when you're in a relationship? I have a friend who's been dating a sweet young lady for about a year, but he flirts with other women-- including me-- incessantly. I think flirting with a stranger is OK. You see an attractive person in the store, you smile at each other, maybe have a very brief conversation, and never see each other again. It makes you feel good about yourself and gives a little lift to your day. But flirting with people you know is risky; there's a chance that it could turn into something more, and it's simply disrespectful to your partner. What do you think?"

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Break ups suck, no matter whether you're the one being broken up with, or the one doing the breaking up. Its going to hurt no matter what happens, and thus, some coping skills are needed.

Over the years, surely you've found some things that have helped you move on and get over someone. I know that for me, the worst break ups have also been the times in my life where I've grown the most, and been the busiest - more out of necessity than anything.

How about you? How have you coped with a bad break up? A new feature still in its testing phase is being tried out on this site, which allows readers like yourself to share a story about how they overcame or did something that is dating related. I'd love to hear your stories about coping after a break up (form), and what worked for you, as well as any feedback about the form and process itself. You can reach me at dating.guide@about.com if there are any problems.

Related: What Not To Do After A Break Up, Kick Bad Love Habits After A Break Up.

I've been told on more than a few occasions that Halloween is the best time of year to meet someone. Why? Because everyone in a costume has a built in conversation starter.

So then why not use this same idea and integrate it into our everyday lives? The concept is an integral one to the pickup artist culture (although they call it peacocking), where the person trying to attract someone wears or has on at least one conversation piece.

Which isn't to say I think you should go all out and become something you aren't. But at the same time, if you can inject some of the fun and frivolity of Halloween into your day to day life, and it allows you to meet someone truly special, why wouldn't you try it and see?

Have you ever used a prop to attract someone? Did it work? Why or why not?

Confused City Girl asks, "I have been seeing this guy for about 4 months now whom I met from a Craigslist ad that I had posted stating that I was looking for an awesome boyfriend. This guy replies with an awesome e-mail and was very cute too so I make plans to go out on a date with him. We clicked immediately and have been seeing each other since then. We have been to concerts together, spent many nights together, planned a vacation next month, I have even met his family and they love me.

A while ago I noticed that his Facebook and MySpace claim he is still single. I didn't let it bother me too much but I did feel a bit hurt. Recently I have noticed that his text messages are less frequent and much less romantic than they had been. He has also been claiming to need a lot of alone time because he has only been out a long term relationship a few months longer than knowing me.

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Julian asks: "I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and since the beginning we have been having sex. All of a sudden though, she tells me that she does not want to "disrespect" her body and that she does not want us having sex anymore. I feel like she should not have made such a big decision that affects both of us without even talking to me about it beforehand. I love her very much and to me the sex was a way of showing that love. It seems to me that if a relationship was sexually active, and that factor is suddenly taken away, the relationship can't be expected to be the same. Any advice?"

I agree that your relationship with your girlfriend cannot be the same as it was before, as what sounds like a big part of the way the two of you share your affection was through sexual intercourse has now been removed from the equation. However, I think that having sex or not having sex isn't the question.

Yes, it would have been much easier and kinder if your girlfriend to have talked to you about what was going through her mind before she made a decision. When you enter into a relationship with someone, part of that process is agreeing that any major decisions that affect the both of you are discussed, first. Someone gets offered their dream job 400 miles away, an ex invites you to their wedding, or whom to spend the holidays with are all conversations better had, together, before a decision has been made.

Sex however is a tricky one, because for many people it is very difficult to talk to their partner about their needs and wants. Using the word "disrespect" tells me that your girlfriend has been struggling with this for some time and needs you to understand her dilemma. It wasn't easy for her I'm sure to tell you about her decision, but I'll hazard a guess that it had very little to do with you. Rather, some outside force is "telling" her that sex is shameful, bad or not to be shared with someone she isn't married to. Problem is, it doesn't sound like you know which category her decision falls into.

Ask her why she feels sex is disrespectful to her body, and try to really listen to what she's saying. I know its difficult to hear from the person you love that they want to stop an important aspect of your relationship, but if you want to make things work with this woman, you are going to have to bite your tongue (and pride) and find out the reasons why she feels this way. When did this become a problem, and why? What is she hoping to gain from not having sex with you anymore? Is all affection off limits (kissing, touching, hand holding), or just sex itself? Has she talked to a mental health professional, medical expert, sex therapist or someone in her religion and/or family about her decision?

Once you have a better idea as to what the reasoning is behind her decision, you can sit down together and talk about how a sexless relationship will affect the both of you, and whether or not it is something you can go back to. I know of women who have stopped having sex with their partners to prompt a marriage proposal, others who have found a religious calling, and yet others who were feeling depressed and didn't find sex at all satisfying anymore. Whatever her reason, you'll have to weigh your feelings on the matter, see if the two of you can come to a compromise (or at the very least get some professional help on the matter), and if not, determine whether or not your relationship can evolve into something new or if it is time for the two of you to part ways.

Related: Should We Take This Relationship To The Next Level Or Breakup?, The Problem of Desire in Long Term Relationships.

Everywhere I go, I see mention of cougars. No, I don't mean the animals in the wild, but rather the relatively new terminology that associates older women with younger men. The first mention of a cougar in this context (and please do correct me if I'm wrong) was Valerie Gibson's book, Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men, which was originally released in 2001 and has seen an upswing in sales since its re-release last year.

But although calling someone a cougar wasn't the nicest of labels a few years ago, older women seem to be wearing the title in stride, somewhat in part to the character of Samantha on Sex in the City. There are reality shows about cougar women (TV Land's The Cougar), movies (2007's Cougar Club), a cougar convention held this past August in Las Vegas, and Courtenay Cox's Cougar Town is coming to a TV near you this fall as well.

So it only makes sense that the "first" cougar cruise would be held next year too, where cougars and their "cubs" (men who hook up with cougars) can meet in a no-holds-barred, sexually charged setting. Although billed as the first of its kind, I did find mention of another cougar cruise from Canadian dating and sex columnist Josey Vogels, who described in great detail her experiences on the four-hour tour. Still, this new cruise under the Carnival line boasts a bit more get-to-know-you time, with three days of on-board fun and frivolity including a pit stop in Ensenada, Mexico.

Is being a cougar different than dating younger men? I think so, as the cougar mentality seems to focus more on the casual sex aspect of dating relationships, rather than the friends with benefits or actual relationship scenario. Yet, every mention of cougars in a relationship context was combined with tales of May-December romances, such as Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate or real-life couple Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. So which is it folks? Is a cougar a woman who merely seeks out relationships with men significantly her junior, or are cougars more the older version of a male player?

I must say I'm impressed at how many of you are already thinking, looking, researching your Halloween costumes this year - be it a couples costume or singles costume, people are planning ahead.

I spoke briefly with a representative from Spirit Halloween, a Halloween costume retailer, and asked them what was hot this year. Anything Twilight-related (either solo as a vampire or tandem ala Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart) are in hot demand, as are gladiator, flapper and gangster-related costumes. And online costume retailer Buy Costumes (Buy Direct) is showing anything superhero related or star trek/star wars flying off the shelves.

I've listed a few of my personal favorites for the year below, but I'm wondering: what will you wear for Halloween this year?

• Knight In Shining Armor Costume
• Twister Halloween Costume
• Ally Capone (Buy Direct) and Rob N. Banks (Buy Direct)
• Corpse Groom (Buy Direct) and Corpse Bride (Buy Direct)
• Gladiatrix (Buy Direct) and Gladiator (Buy Direct)
• Flapper Girl (Buy Direct) and Prohibition-Age Gangster (Buy Direct)