1. People & Relationships
You can opt-out at any time. Please refer to our privacy policy for contact information.

Discuss in my forum

eowin1215 asks in the Dating Advice forum: "Why ask for a girl's phone number and then not call?

I "met" a guy on match.com literally two years ago, but the timing just wasn't right for either of us. Was skimming through old email, found the half dozen emails he'd sent, and emailed him. So we'd been emailing for a few days when, on Friday, he emailed and asked if he could have my number this time. I sent it to him. And then NOTHING. What's with that?"

What do you think?

February 29, 2008 at 3:08 pm
(1) Paige says:

Maybe he forgot, or maybe he just doesn’t want to look or sound desprate.
~Good Luck :)

February 29, 2008 at 4:15 pm
(2) Me! says:

I have had guys do this to me also…and as much as they are in denial…men are just as complicated as women are, so you will probably never know why he asked and never called.

February 29, 2008 at 11:55 pm
(3) Dee says:

He’s an ass.

March 1, 2008 at 10:31 am
(4) Mark Roland says:

Now for a man’s point of view. To ask for a number and not call is not right on the surface, but it fits in the same category as women saying, when asked for a date, “Maybe sometime.” They are really saying “No” but want to lead the man on. The guy was doing the same thing by asking for the phone number, really saying “No” but wanting to lead the woman on.
When the deceptions stop on the woman’s side, they will stop on the man’s side. Don’t count on any change in romantic deceptions this century! Both sides deserve what they get.

March 1, 2008 at 7:10 pm
(5) Barbara says:

It seems to me that a lot of people on on-line dating sites are not really that serious about actually meeting people. I’ve heard this from both men and women. Maybe he asked for the number to lead her on, or maybe out of habit, or maybe he just changed his mind. He should not have asked unless he was serious about using it.

March 2, 2008 at 2:32 am
(6) Glamour Girl says:

I think he is interested, but the timing may not be right for him this time. Two years is a long time!
I’d email him again and ask him out for coffee, if he says yes, you know he’s interested. If he says no, he will more than likely give you a reason. If not, you know not to waste your time on him right now…

March 2, 2008 at 9:05 am
(7) Taira says:

If it’s only been a couple of days, I’d give him some time. This was through email, right? Not chat. So give him a couple of days to receive the email and get up the nerve to call. Unless you were hinting for him to call you (which I doubt), it’s unlikely he asked for your number after all this time and does’t plan to call you.

March 2, 2008 at 8:37 pm
(8) Terry G says:

Personally, I think that the lady who is wondering is pressuring in the first place and the guy is running. K? She’s chasing and he’s not wanting to insult her on the phone. Trying to be nice in person. Normal.

March 3, 2008 at 9:00 pm
(9) Don says:

You may be asking the wrong question. When someone ask someone for their # you can assume that they intending on calling. They didn’t and that’s disappointing. Perhaps the question that should be asked is “What did I like about that person that convinced me to give them my number?” Then look for that.

March 4, 2008 at 1:56 pm
(10) snoopy says:

Why don’t you email him and ask him why he didn’t call you?

March 4, 2008 at 7:47 pm
(11) Dana says:

If a guy asks and doesn’t call, he’s not interested. Full stop. Getting the number is a power trip thing but actually he doesn’t want to go any further. If he waits a long while and then calls then that is worse because consciously or not, he is playing mind games. If he was really interested he wouldn’t keep you waiting and guessing. It’s hard but I think you should stop waiting and guessing, unless you want to encourage this treatment.

March 6, 2008 at 7:02 am
(12) melissainstl says:

You know what…don’t make any excuses for him. If he wanted to REALLY go out with you he would have called. Take it from a girl w/ experience. Sorry if that sounds extreme but BOYS these days don’t have a clue!

March 6, 2008 at 2:51 pm
(13) tessy says:

he is simply not interested.if he is,he would have called you at least to hear your voice

March 8, 2008 at 10:43 pm
(14) Lisa says:

Guys are jerks sometimes! They ask for your number and then don’t call I believe because they feel bad that its been a long time since they have seen you and they want to make you feel better by asking for your number but in reality they aren’t interested. I think the same goes for women who give out the wrong # to guys they aren’t interested in dating. People should just be honest instead of playing head games with each other.

March 10, 2008 at 2:16 am
(15) Justin says:

Since I am a guy, I can honestly say that he is afraid. he is probably afraid of getting hurt or hurting you, so he got your number to seem like the good guy at the time. If he doesnt call, so what, move on. find a guy that you can share everything with. it may seem hard. be harshly honest, guys will apreciate that.

March 10, 2008 at 12:36 pm
(16) dusty says:

maybe he’s shy or scared i have alot of guy friends and am uasally bestfriends to the girl they like the girls say that they guys will call but they never do but the guys say there scared because thy really like the girl they were going to call and dont want to blow it with them most of the time though instead of waiting for him to call me i pick up the phone and call him.

March 10, 2008 at 2:49 pm
(17) tim says:

Why…Well, some guys are players. They want the digits so they can have them for later when they are down and out. Their whole mantra is more is better. The more numbers, the more chances to get some. We men are dogs….Of course, why would a woman do the same thing? For the same reason? Nope…Their motives are completely different.

March 11, 2008 at 5:29 pm
(18) aiesha says:

he is dumb

March 12, 2008 at 7:29 pm
(19) tasita says:

Well, just forget him… If he’s interested in you, he should have called you already.. Relax and move on.. Why busy wasting your time waiting for someone you never meet him in person??

March 14, 2008 at 7:01 pm
(20) anonymous says:

Forget about him, he will probably never call. He even might be dating or in a relationship just trying to be polite. And think, do you really want to know the real reason or have a closure for something non exsistent.
Hope everything will be well and you will meet someone else in the near future

November 17, 2008 at 11:27 am
(21) Paul says:

I met a girl in NYC. Shes from Germany, here for 6 months. Asked for her email. She asked why. I said to send her something. She said what. I had to come up with something.I said something about Obama. She said she wasn’t interested in that. I said I just thought I’d ask you. I really wanted to go out with her. Did she really think I was some politoco just spamming her? I wish I had asked her for her phone number instead. I would have really liked to take her out. I asked some German guy about it and he said email is just for business for them and very impersonal. I wish I had known.

December 29, 2008 at 7:50 pm
(22) Shoshana says:

I am kinda in the same situation. I was chatting online with a guy a few days ago and I am really interested in him (this does not happen so often). He asked me for my # ***JACKPOT!!!*** But, he has not called. He is planning a month long business trip that he is leaving for in a week so I hope that is the reason. I caved in after 3 days and called him and we talked for a little while, but he said he was busy (plus it was late and I was tired anyway). I hope if he asked for my #, it is because he wants to know me better.

Now, I understand that people may do things to be polite, but I could see it more in a passive sense. I have given my # before to guys I was previously acquainted with that I was not really interested in dating because I would feel like I was embarrassing him by refusing (especially if it was face to face). However, if I am chatting online with a guy I do not know and do not especially want to know, I won’t give it to him.

ON THE OTHER HAND, I would not ask a guy for his # unless A: He is a hottie or B: seems like a cool guy for friendship (and he will know this is just a friends thing).

Leave a Comment

Line and paragraph breaks are automatic. Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title="">, <b>, <i>, <strike>

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.