Too Many Pets?
Tuesday April 1, 2008
In the dating forums, AndyGram42 wants to know: "Is there a good way to tell someone you are seeing that they have too many cats and dogs?"
It's a thoughtful yet challenging question, which brings up a whole host of other questions, such as:
- Can cat and dog people have successful relationships with one another?
- How much is too much of anything? Meaning: can one have too many books? Friends? Newspaper clippings?
- How do you broach what obviously would be a challenging conversation with someone you are dating? Better yet, how do you know if it's even appropriate to mention it?
I'd love to hear your views on this situation, and how any of you have handled similar touchy conversations.
Comments
It’s none of anybody’s business how many pets you have. Is the question any different if somebody has a lot of children? Most relationships do not last and the warning signs are from those who display displeasure in how many kids or pets a dating partner may have. Go find somebody else. NEVER tell somebody to get rid of their dogs or cats; it is not an option. I dated a guy like that, who refused to even PET my cat, then claimed I couldn’t live with him because his apartment building had a no pets rule, so I went down to the garbage room on his floor and brought back an empty carton of Scoops Away cat litter and demanded to know why he was lying to me. I found out he was a chronic liar, and if he didn’t want my cat, he didn’t want me, either. Found out he was cheating on me, too, and stringing us both along until I kicked his a** to the curb.
Move on. Most people with pets consider them to be part of the family and trust me, you’ll be gone before they will. If you only wish to date people with no pets or kids then you need to state that before you even start dating anyone … otherwise, it’s your own fault and you’re setting yourself up for failure right from the start.
There is absolutely no way you should tell anyone they have too many pets, and insinuate they get rid of them to continue to date you. I totally agree with Labyrinth, if you have strong feeling about this you should find out in advance if someone has pets, what kind and how many. If this bugs you, the odds that this relationship will last is so slim that it would be foolish for them to get rid of their pet for you anyway.
I agree with Rose to a point. I do also think though, that when a person has to many animals to properly care for and when finds themselves at risk for toxoplasmosis, it’s time to get rid of som e cats. If there is more cat poo than can be cleaned up to the point of it making a difference then something is wrong and that’s probably why someone would say something like “you have too many animals”
well, Im a person who may oonsider me to have too many pets, I rescue and find homes for them, after they have been neutured or spayed and vaccinations completed. I live with someone who has been with me for five years and I informed him when we started dating what I did, and now every time I save another animal from the streets, Im b******d at, all I could suggest is the truth at the beginning would be nice, So no one waste time. I wont change what I do, becouse I have a good cause and I have a great feeing when I find a wonderful home for the rescued. I much rather would be happier by myself than asked to change.
I just broke up with someone today who was like, I still want to date you but I don’t want to come to your house because you have too many pets. (Seven dogs and 13 cats.) At the end of the day, if he can’t deal with my animals, I can’t deal with him. He knew from day one how many pets I had and kept saying it was fine with him because he loves dogs and cats. I’m so glad there is such strong support on here for sticking with the pets. I put up with his idiot friends and his smoking/drinking, you’d think he could handle a cat sitting on his lap.
I googled too many pets to see what would appear. Three articles were found, all were women who were fined, jailed, etc. because they had too many pets … no men. There are excessive numbers to anything, but I certainly have not noticed men being persecuted for overindulgence.