Too Many Pets?
Tuesday April 1, 2008
In the dating forums, AndyGram42 wants to know: "Is there a good way to tell someone you are seeing that they have too many cats and dogs?"
It's a thoughtful yet challenging question, which brings up a whole host of other questions, such as:
- Can cat and dog people have successful relationships with one another?
- How much is too much of anything? Meaning: can one have too many books? Friends? Newspaper clippings?
- How do you broach what obviously would be a challenging conversation with someone you are dating? Better yet, how do you know if it's even appropriate to mention it?
I'd love to hear your views on this situation, and how any of you have handled similar touchy conversations.
Comments
It’s none of anybody’s business how many pets you have. Is the question any different if somebody has a lot of children? Most relationships do not last and the warning signs are from those who display displeasure in how many kids or pets a dating partner may have. Go find somebody else. NEVER tell somebody to get rid of their dogs or cats; it is not an option. I dated a guy like that, who refused to even PET my cat, then claimed I couldn’t live with him because his apartment building had a no pets rule, so I went down to the garbage room on his floor and brought back an empty carton of Scoops Away cat litter and demanded to know why he was lying to me. I found out he was a chronic liar, and if he didn’t want my cat, he didn’t want me, either. Found out he was cheating on me, too, and stringing us both along until I kicked his a** to the curb.
Move on. Most people with pets consider them to be part of the family and trust me, you’ll be gone before they will. If you only wish to date people with no pets or kids then you need to state that before you even start dating anyone … otherwise, it’s your own fault and you’re setting yourself up for failure right from the start.
There is absolutely no way you should tell anyone they have too many pets, and insinuate they get rid of them to continue to date you. I totally agree with Labyrinth, if you have strong feeling about this you should find out in advance if someone has pets, what kind and how many. If this bugs you, the odds that this relationship will last is so slim that it would be foolish for them to get rid of their pet for you anyway.
I agree with Rose to a point. I do also think though, that when a person has to many animals to properly care for and when finds themselves at risk for toxoplasmosis, it’s time to get rid of som e cats. If there is more cat poo than can be cleaned up to the point of it making a difference then something is wrong and that’s probably why someone would say something like “you have too many animals”
well, Im a person who may oonsider me to have too many pets, I rescue and find homes for them, after they have been neutured or spayed and vaccinations completed. I live with someone who has been with me for five years and I informed him when we started dating what I did, and now every time I save another animal from the streets, Im b******d at, all I could suggest is the truth at the beginning would be nice, So no one waste time. I wont change what I do, becouse I have a good cause and I have a great feeing when I find a wonderful home for the rescued. I much rather would be happier by myself than asked to change.
I just broke up with someone today who was like, I still want to date you but I don’t want to come to your house because you have too many pets. (Seven dogs and 13 cats.) At the end of the day, if he can’t deal with my animals, I can’t deal with him. He knew from day one how many pets I had and kept saying it was fine with him because he loves dogs and cats. I’m so glad there is such strong support on here for sticking with the pets. I put up with his idiot friends and his smoking/drinking, you’d think he could handle a cat sitting on his lap.
I googled too many pets to see what would appear. Three articles were found, all were women who were fined, jailed, etc. because they had too many pets … no men. There are excessive numbers to anything, but I certainly have not noticed men being persecuted for overindulgence.
I used to have 10 dogs. 2 of the just recently passed. But my boyfriend now tells me after 1.5 years that he can’t stand living with the dogs in the house. He doesn’t understand that my dogs are my kids.. they are not just animals or things.
I try to be as clean as possible, but can’t be at it 24 hrs a day.. I do work. I am willing to put them outside as a compromise. My mom told me yesterday that he told her a year + ago, that he was going to make sure I got rid of my dogs… I guess he thinks my love for him will make me do anything.
I do love him very much.. but the dogs are first. I am sorry. Can’t and won’t do that. If he doesn’t want me, then I hope and pray there is someone out there that will accept me with my dogs.
I disagree. What is the need to have so many pets? What is the point. You can get enough attention from one or two. Why do you need to collect them. They are not “kids”, They are not humans. They are animals. You can buy them at a shop. They each demand attention and it sends the wrong message to people you are dating. To me it says you care about yourself too much. It says that you prefer animal company to human company because you can’t get along with people very well. One or two is okay but any more is just excessive mess and a nuissance to non animal collectors. I hate going into someones house and having allof their animals jumping all over me. I hate getting their fur all over my clothes. I also believe that too many pets increases peoples chances of getting sick, especially touching dog’s noses. Just my two cents worth.
IMO people who collect pets have deep-seated emotional issues. Although I would never own a pet I can understand having one for companionship. I can even understand having 2 that keep each other company when the owner is is away. Any more than 2 pets is a clear sign that something is seriously wrong. It’s simply unsanitary to have that many animals. I couldn’t imagine living in a house or apartment that is rank with pet ordor and that constantly needs to be cleaned of fleas, feces, vomit, and pet hair. Some of you should invest less money in your pets and more money in counseling.