Dating Profiles That Don't Work
I find most of my frustrations with online dating lately lie with people's dating profiles. Most of them do nothing for me: they don't give me any insight as to who the person is, they are full of spelling and grammar mistakes (not to mention netspeak; see my list of dating acronyms to see what I mean), and very few encourage me to reach out and say hello. Which is sad, because isn't that the whole point?
Now, I'm not asking or expecting that every single becomes Shakespeare overnight and creates a masterpiece that resonates with everyone. But is it really too much to ask to put a little bit more effort into your profile than, "just checkin' things out"?
When I run into a dating profile that is poorly written - or worse, just using up characters willy nilly to make it past the dating site's sensors - I have no interest in interacting with them. Period. It's like going on a date without taking the time to brush your hair, first: you've come to the table unprepared and it shows. That's why I suggest a new dating rule for dating profile writing: your profile must take at least as much time to write as it takes you to get ready for a date.
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Comments
I disagree with your rule about pictures. At least on free sites.
I am not going to give any personal info to anybody without having an email conversation with them first. After 2-3 emails I am usually comfortable that the person is real and sincere.
There are just too many bots and prostitutes out there for me to not be cautious. I would think a woman needs to be even more cautious since “predators” are added to the list of common e-dating threats.
If someone doesn’t respect my concerns then I guess we wouldn’t be much of a match.
My basic assumption is that a distance relationship starts as a platonic friendship but can possibly lead to more.
my rules:
*avoid anything outside my age group (+-10 years).
*avoid anyone who shows concerns beyond a friendship (looks, money, sex) on first contact.
*avoid anyone who requires a pic or doesn’t allow the use of a pseudonym
*ignore anyone who wants me to “check out” their profile or pics on another site.
The rules would be different if I chose to use sites like adult finder.
I just passed up a posting at Craig’s List and realized there are two more rules:
*Avoid anyone who uses too many one-liners, attention grabbers, or 3l337 talk.
*Avoid anyone who writes like a pro
u all go through the embarrassing misspelling (i’m probably doing it right now) and i’m a journalism major! it happens, but i do understand the frustration. men/women sometimes cannot understand the simpliest concepts of grammar, [exp: 'there from their']. it is a turn off, but also u can think of it as a way to teach someone else. i’m not the best person in the world, but i might be able to help someone else to be one!!! i’m sorry, but that is sexier than being perfect. i have a lot to learn from others and i hope them from me.
Thank you both for sharing. I appreciate that you took the time to detail what is most important to you in an online dating profile.
I think a better rule would be to just write the darn profile. Any eight-year old could do it well. In fact, if you have kids, just let them write it for you.
Seriously, it isn’t the length, it’s the quality and content rather that impresses me. This is a separate intelligence that is indicative of a well-rounded and intelligent individual. What is an instant rejection by me is the your/you’re…can not/cannot…lier/liar, and other misspelled and incorrect words. Also, if they have “angel” anywhere, “where are all the nice guys”, “not looking for sex”…..seriously…..WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? Have you ever met a man before in your life? lol Those are huge no-nos–straight up insulting to anyone with a brain.