Communication Skills for Long Term Relationships

One of the more commonly-advised tactics to repair or fix a relationship is to improve couples' communication skills. But what if you could patch things up with your partner without actually talking about it?

That's the premise of Dr. Patricia Love and Dr. Steven Stosny's "How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It," (Compare Prices), a book I briefly mentioned earlier this week in a post about Predicting Infidelity. I picked up the book at the library after a reader suggested it, and was pleasantly surprised by what I found within its covers.

Since How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It is obviously slanted towards married couples, I haven't written a full review of the book for this dating site. Having said that, the information shared within is still highly relevant for couples in long-term relationships, especially those living together who are struggling to communicate, and thus why I'm sharing its existence here.

In a nutshell, How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It focuses primarily on the differences in communication styles between the sexes, i.e. men's response to shame, and women's, to fear and anxiety. Several chapters build up this premise, explaining clearly and thoroughly the how's and why's these feelings come into play in many romantic relationships, culminating with several chapters filled with comprehensive (and surprisingly simple) how-to's to fix the relationship issues without ever speaking a word to your partner.

Are the tactics explained sound? I'd say so, especially since both authors have used these methods extensively to assist their own therapy clients to improve their long term relationships. Yes, some of the suggestions are a tad squirm-worthy, but only because they require the reader to reflect closely on how they've contributed to the problems in their relationship, either inadvertently or otherwise. None are difficult, and most are beautiful in their simplicity.

How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It is the kind of book I didn't want to end, because I enjoyed the style and content thoroughly. I was almost sad that I couldn't try out the tactics suggested myself, but I will surely refer to this book in my next relationship.

Have you read How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It? Did it help you to improve your relationship?