Commitment Issues
With so many reader dating questions submitted of late, I've decided to try a new weekly feature called the Q&A Panel. Basically, readers with dating-related questions can fill out the dating advice submission form, and other readers can take a stab at answering their questions.
So I'm starting the panel off with a question from reader Renee about the guy she's dating and his perceived commitment issues. She says, "After dating a couple of months, when I suggested a committed relationship to the guy I'm dating he freaked out. What does this mean? What should I do?"
Four men, ranging from single to married and everything in between answered this week (see: Commitment Issues?), but I'd still love to hear what you have to say. Feel free to answer this question in the comment field of this blog post, or if you'd like to take part in next week's panel, send me an email with the subject line, "Q&A Panel" as well as your first name, age, and an explanation (if needed) of your relationship status.
I know the guys were taking the assignment of answering Renee’s question seriously and I really commend them, but she said she was looking for a commitment after a couple of months and I was asking “Why??” It had only been a couple of months…..they both were still on their best behavior!!! To me,(and here I must say I am 50 and single for about 8 years after a 20 year marriage)I would be avoiding the “commitment” talk until some basic criteria had been met.Had she seen him when he was sick yet?? Guys can be big babies when they are sick and if things progress could she imagine having an infant or two and handling him when he is sick too? Has she seen him in a bad mood, p-ed off, or really, really angry?When he is in a bad mood how does he treat strangers(sales clerks, waitresses)? Is he hostile or overly picky with them? Because in a few years that may be how he is with Renee. Can he calm himself when really angry enough to ask for space or talk it out until he feels better? How about when he is angry with her? Can he come to her when he has calmed and talk about it? Does he leave her guessing why he is moody?These plus a million other quirks are things I would want to know first cause, no matter how hard you try, you won’t change him and you need to be informed and make a decision that you can accept each behavior during your entire relationship.So, for me 2 or 3 months is the play time, when I am still dating and comparing one guy to another and over time eliminating them until I find the best fit for my life. Good luck to you and all you young women looking for marriage. That is a commitment you should take your time with an be sure about BEFORE either of you jump in. Remember you are just as stuck as he is if things don’t go well And marriage is not a thing to practice on.