Reader Question: Dating a Younger Man
grrl_geek asks in the dating forums: My love interest (a man) is nearly 10 years younger than I. He knows that I am older, but he doesn't know exactly how much older, although he may have an idea.
Because of the way I look and dress I don't seem my age--I look and seem 10 years younger, and some people think I am even younger than that. My love interest did exhibit interest in me when we used to work together. I did not act on the attraction because we were co-workers. Now that we are no longer, I would like to woo him, but I am wondering whether the difference in our ages would be an issue.
Men, what do you feel about the possibility of having a partner who is 10 years older? I am certain that you wouldn't intentionally seek out a much older woman, but if you happen to come across one that you are very much interested in, would the age difference bother you?
Comments
I wouldn’t let that bother me. If there is a genuine interest, age wouldn’t be a factor.
It would depend upon what common goals you share. That having been said, true love in this world is so incredibly hard to find. I would say to go for it. Women’s sexual prime is later than ours and they tend to outlive us anyway.
The only thing i would be concerned about is his maturity level and is he picking up his responsibilities. i believe you should not rush into it and really analyze his character to see if he’s someone that can take care you and more. I ran into this dating game simulation online and it’s hilarious! If a man ain’t treating you right don’t mess with it.
If you think you seem 10 years younger because you dress 10 years younger, think again. What you most likely seem like is someone who dresses 10 years younger than she ought to.
Really their is no differences on age factors . I’ve been with older women since I was 18. I am now 27. Preferably it up to the individual who has the insecurities and getting over them . Believe it or not these day younger guy are dating older women. From my experiences older are a lot better then the young.
Ok well I’m a 29 yr. old woman who has been dating a 19 yr. old guy for a yr. and a half now. I don’t see how age is really an issue. As long as u both are happy and in love why should age be an issue? I say go for it what do u have to lose?
Having been President of a large singles organization I have seen this scenario played out many times. The younger male usually eventually ditches the older woman, once she ages. Then she is less desireable/attractive to males overall and lives her remaining years in loneliness. Sorry to say that, but it is a reality and a shame.
I liked the responses here so far. Well, I read the first three and here goes.
I am going on 6 yrs steady with a man 34 yrs old. I am 40. He walks around like he has his shit together in all facets ( did I spell that right ) and is a flake. Doesnt pay bills on time, tickets as well. I am starting to see, well maybe I always have seen; its all about him. I HATE TO GENERALIZE, but it’s like an OCD is going on. He has no romantic bone in his body and I really dont know what I am doing with him. We have never been on and off yet I tell him, find someone else, leave me alone for awhile, it doesnt work.
He is a workaholic and spends money on wrong things, with no goals to speak of.
IT IS HARD TO HAVE AN INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION with him without it leading into a fight.
I could go on and on.
Lis
Hi.. okay first don’t listen tothe nay sayers.. I have been dating two men over the last 7 months one 9 years younger and another 14 years younger, younger men do love a confident secure older woman. If you are looking for some fun and do not have big expectations you could have a really great time. So, to your question, you don’t need to woo.. don’t over think it. Just text the guy and tell him you would like to go out to dinner with him. HE WILL SAY YES. I continue to date and have more younger men then I can ask for asking me out. I can’t keep up… but I am enjoying life. Isn’t that what it is about.. who said marriage? Us older women aren’t usually ready to give up everything and run and get married if we are confident and independent. Just what the men love. GOOD LUCK!!
I am 45yrs young and I have raised 2 sons (1 is 28yrs & the other 26yrs) to be real men. I have numerous relationships with loser men my age and never considered dating anyone that was more than 5 yrs younger.Until 1 yr ago I started seeing this 25 yr old., the difference of 20 years is large, no future in it but it’s the best sex I’ve ever experienced. Now I have a boyfriend who is 35yrs old and much more mature and very committed to the relationship. I try to stay physically fit and the age difference doesn’t bother him or myself. I say if it makes you happy and you trust and love him, you go for it! You only live once.
I have had the best sex of my life with a man 16 years younger than me. I have not called or pursued him he has called me. I do not think we will be together in the future but want to continue the friendship for what he has offered to me. He has woke me up to life and to enjoy it for me. After divorce and being mistreated by my ex husband he has given me life again. I do not regret a day of our friendship and relationship.
I’ve always attracted younger men and was married to a man ten years younger than me for twenty years. Our marriage broke up, not because of the age difference, but because of other bog-standard issues that could occur between any couple. Now I’m seeing a guy 16 years younger than me and it’s just brilliant. I have no intention of getting married again (been there, done that), but I intend to enjoy life to the full, especially while my young lover is so full of energy and passion! Mmmm
the age difference only becomes an issue when it comes to children- having them..
if he is 35 and you are 42 when you meet, chances are you will have a hard time conceiving at 43 or 44, if he wants children.you stand a better chance if he has kids already. you can look 28 and be 48 but the inside never lies..
I am a 44 year-old woman and dating on and off a 10 years younger guy for over seven months now. I do look fantastic for my age too. However, he backed off after he found out exactly how old I was. After my husband left me after 22 years of marriage, he helped me to brush up on social skills and showed me how to have fun. We both have so much in common, background, culture, personality, and goals. In different circumstances we would be perfect for each other. However, I don’t think there is a future for us, because age does bother him alot. I love him very much, and I know he has feelings for me too, but our relationship is falling apart day after day. He doesn’t want to take me out anywhere anymore, just his or my house. If you know that the number doesn’t bother him, go for it. You will enjoy his company, no doubt.
I, too, am in love with a younger man. I am 55 and he is 34. I am afraid to do anything since he is a good friend. How do I proceed?
I can’t believe this happened to me…. I am in love with a man 12 years younger than I and he loves me too!…I know I can’t believe this…I surely didn’t go out and look for this to happen and I never dreamed we would be talking happily ever after either…but we are! At first I told him it was his decision to have this awesome relaionship or not…but now I am having some second thoughts, and am working through them as best as I can….I worry about ten years from now….??? but these risks you take with anyone….right?
i am 35 and my current man is 25. and oh is he awesome. i was married to a 40 year old and its amazing how much more my new boyfriend can connect. its not about age. its about who you are.
Isn’t it interesting? We wouldn’t even be discussing this if the genders were reversed, because no one would bat an eye. 10 years is not that much of a difference. If you’re both happy, than what’s wrong with it? Listen to your heart, not the nay-sayers. You never know how life and love can surprise you.
Wow, I’m so glad to read how common this situation is…I’m a 44 year old woman who has met at 29 year old man and am apprehensive about a relationship. I guess you never know where life will bring you…go ladies!
I am head over heels in love with a man who is 14 years younger. The feeling is mutual. I am 39, he is 25.
My only concern… having been around the block a little bit more than him (married), is that he doesn’t REALLY truly get how unique and amazing, and hard to come by our relationship is. Clearly this is not too big a concern.
I definitely thought I was done with children, but would squeeze one out as late as 44/45 for him / us.