Safe Dating
Whether I'm traveling, in a coffee shop, or having lunch with friends, whenever I disclose the nature of what I do for a living, people invariably either ask me for advice, share their dating disaster stories, or combine the two into a complex discussion about dating in general. Every time I walk away from one of these conversations, I feel like I've learned something, and usually for the better.
I had such a conversation the other day with a 40-something single parent, who wove a frightening story about a man she'd dated and later found out was a convicted pedophile. I will never forget the look on her face when she said, "I thought being interested in my child was a good thing, until I realized he may have other motives in mind." Luckily, both her and her child escaped unscathed from the situation.
After we parted ways, I sat and thought about our discussion for quite some time. I've purposely shied away from such conversations here in the blog, if only because I'd much rather talk about the funny, quirky, or positive aspects of dating, mating and relating, than to dwell on the frightening and/or downright scary. But I now feel that's doing us all a disservice. I've written content about dating scams and finding a safe dating site, yet haven't touched the whole keeping one's self safe online - whether it be from predators, STDs or anything else harmful to one's well being. And for that, I apologize.
Have you had to protect yourself while dating? Do you have any measures in place to keep you and your family safe while dating? Feel free to share in the comments your thoughts and experiences, as well as any questions you may have on the subject.
Comments
I dated some guys I met online before I met my current SO. I made sure I met them in a public place such as a favorite restaurant on our first date. I asked around to see if my friends knew anything about them (I live in a small town, so of course, someone probably did.) I made sure someone knew where I was going before I met a new guy too. I didn’t get into the car with someone until I knew them better.
I don’t have kids, but if I did, I would be even more cautious about dating someone new and unfamiliar. You can’t be too careful. I’d try to know the person very well before I introduced them into my kid’s life.
Great article on chat and dating. Keep up the great work. I’m goint to read more tonight.
Bonnie I share your concern for this part of the dating world - but it also happens in the social networking and chat worlds as well.
I like you, am a huge supporter of online dating - but this is an area of growing concern for those of us involved in online safety.
Child Sex Offenders have easy access to singles in the online worlds but to think that the target is just single mother’s - would be a grave mistake. Anyone who has little people in their lives can be targets - this includes the gay communities.
If I may - here are some “RED FLAGS” for your readers to consider. If anyone is doing these things at the very beginning of your communication with them please go to the link included in this post. They specialize in this area and they are discreet.
There are many more “RED FLAGS” but these are ones that will make you think and look at the person you are communicating with.
1. Anyone asking lots of light hearted questions about the little people in your life.
2. Anyone driving the conversation so that you are doing most of the talking and its all about the little people in your life and very little else.
3. Someone asking you to show pictures of the little people in your life because they would “love to see them”.
4. Anyone offering to chat with the little people in your life - because they love kids and want to get to know these special little people in your life.
This can be hidden as an excuse to help you out if you are have a problem with the little person in your life. So, beware of “I will speak to them if you like - I’m great with kids”.
If you have met someone who is doing these things, ask yourself, who is this person interested in having the relationship with - Me or the little person in my life?.
If the majority of your conversations always revolve around the young children in your life and nothing on an adult to adult conversational plane - then I would be highly suspicious.
If any of your readers feel that they are or maybe in this position then
www.virtualglobaltaskforce.com is a global Law Enforcement Task Force that has been set up to catch online Child Sex Offenders and they are very good at it.
This agency will take over the conversations to check if you do have a predator online - I would highly recommend any, who even remotely suspects this is the case to contact them.
It is much better to be safe than devastated.
I hope this helps your readers Bonnie. As usual, a great post thank you.
Smiles to you,
Yvonne
i need to know about the dating spots
so kindly provide me the idea about it
Another reason why I don’t do online dating. There are too many weirdos out there. My suggestion is for people to get out there and become more social, join a club or volunteer and meet people that way. The likelyhood of meeting a psycho is so much smaller in the real world as you can judge a persons character in person much better than online.