Reader Question: No Driving License and Dateless

It looks like this is the week for 'how can I meet new people' questions, because my mailbox is full of them, along with several forum postings to boot, such as How Do I Meet Girls My Own Age?

One email in particular from a 26-year old gent got me thinking. He wanted to know how he should go about meeting new people as he has no driving license - a predicament I understand all too well personally.

Upon reflection, I've found having no driving license to be a good thing (for the most part) when meeting new people from online dating sites or via blind dates, as I was rarely fearful of someone following me home after a date-gone-bad (or exceptionally well but reading my signals wrong, take your pick). And never have I dated someone who also had no driving license where it mattered to me. If anything, our shared mobility challenges brought us closer, and we'd frequently go for walks together or commute to work alongside each other on the bus.

Having said that, I realize not driving can be different for (some) men. Certain social circles find a car/license to be a sign of social and financial status, and some women won't go near a man without both. And recently I spoke with a 23-year-old man who told me he'd never date a woman if he didn't have a car with which to pick her up in, as was his current situation while he was in between vehicles. "I like to be the provider," he said, as his way of explaining why he felt uncomfortable meeting at a date location instead of picking his date up at home.

When it comes down to it though, I don't feel that no driving license does equals no dating life. There's no reason why you can't meet people minus wheels, although it may take a bit of creativity. Then again, most people have barriers to meeting new people (time, money, family commitments, mobility, etc.), so if this is your only one, you've ahead of the pack.

Here's what I suggest: Make a list of a couple of places that you'd like to go to/do that will have a relatively larger number of people at, AND that you haven't been to before or recently. The point here is to get you a bit out of your comfort zone and interacting with new people that you normally wouldn't run into. This could be as simple as going somewhere different for your lunch break, or as involved as joining a sports team. Commit to doing one of these things at least once a week, catering your schedule to your ability to walk, bike, take the bus/taxi, and/or carpool. This will increase the number of people you meet exponentially, and all that's left is you learning how to make contact, using a conversation starter or pickup line. Good luck!

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