Dating New Years Resolutions
Do you have any dating-related New Years resolutions this year? I've solicited singles, couples and experts for their views and ideas, creating two New Years resolution lists that I think will be helpful to a lot of readers:
A couple of the suggestions - such as 39-year-old Megan Reese's of creating a 'Man Plan' for her dating life - are extensive yet focused, while others are simple shifts in one's worldview to improve either the relationships we are attracting, or those we already have. And then there is a whole other level of New Years resolution, and I've found two that are so above and beyond the norm (but fascinating!) that they deserved more than just a quick quip in an article.
The first comes from best selling authors and challenge creators Pastor Kerry Shook and his wife Chris. Their book, One Month to Live, suggest that those wanting a dramatic shift in their lives just need to think about what they'd do if they only had thirty days left. From one of their press releases:
"Arguably, resolutions fail because there's no sense of urgency. With a whole year ahead to reach the goal, it's easy to relegate it to the back burner or forget about it altogether. Indeed, in one study nearly 40 percent of respondents cite having too many other things to do as the reason for breaking their resolutions. But what if instead of just making resolutions you acted as if you had only 30 days to live and to really make a difference in your life?"
There are quite a few things I'd do differently were I to adopt this philosophy, I'll readily admit. I think we all would. But in my dating life? I've tried to live with no regrets in my romantic relationships, so I've only got one that immediately comes to mind. But since it involves someone who is happily partnered, I think this one is better off being kept to myself. Still, I'd be curious to see if this thought process would change any of your dating relationships, be they the ones you aspire to, or the ones you hope to create.
The second New Years resolution applies more to singles looking to date, or those wanting to get into a long term relationship this year. Neenah Pickett is a 42-year-old media consultant who has decided she's done with mere dating, and has decided to make 2009 the year she finds a husband. But what makes her story a bit different is that she's launching her own social networking site, 52Weeks2FindHim.com, in order to do it. Using the premise that many of us find our mates through the contacts we already have, Neena has decided to combine the Internet, along with a fair amount of help from her friends and the media, to find her mate. Will she succeed? I haven't a clue, but I admire her for putting it out there, and will definitely be following her journey over the next year to see how she fares. Her story reminds me of a friend who told me several years ago she was ending her relationship because her partner didn't want to get married and have kids -- AND that she'd be happily married to someone new and wonderful within the year. But she didn't just tell me this - she told everyone she knew. Within three months she was in a serious relationship with someone she'd never considered dating before, and now, just over two years later, they are happily married and the parents of an eight month old girl.
What about you? Have you ever gone to extreme lengths to find a date? Would you? Have you resolved to this year?
Comments
I haven’t written my January column yet, but it’s going to be about my dating resolution, which is to be less pragmatic and more idealistic. I’m going to stop making excuses for someone on that first or second date (e.g. “Well, she’s really smart,” or “At least she has pretty eyes,”) and go back to holding out for someone who gives me that thrill-spark of chemistry and potential.
I may have fewer dates in 2009, but at least I won’t be wasting anyone’s time trying to force myself into contentment.
GOod Stuff.
Awesome Article, you all should checkout Matchmaker International. They do police background checks and make sure everyone is who they say they are. Thats how i found my girl, now trying to find a good date idea lol.