The $40 Dating Rule?
A recent reader response to Who Pays on a Date surprised me:
I used to have a rule about money and sex. My friends called me the 40 dollar man. If I didn't have sex by the time I spent 40 dollars I wouldn't see them again. Well guess what? I had sex with 27 women the first year I did that."
The reader then explained that he'd since stopped using this (what I've now dubbed) $40 dating rule, since he was becoming embarrassed and uncomfortable with his behavior.
Of course, pursuing casual dating relationships isn't a new concept, and the Pick Up Artist (PUA) movement is gaining notoriety and fans on a daily basis because of shows like VH1's The Pick Up Artist and books like Neil Strauss' The Game (Buy Direct). But it isn't often that I find followers of these tactics commenting on this site.
What do you think about this $40 dating rule? Do you have a similar idea, or have you tried something along the same lines that worked for you? Does it surprise you? Upset you? Perhaps it fuels you to try it and see for yourself. Comment and let me know what you think.
Related: Dating Rules
Comments
Obviously this guy is only out for the sex. Guess some guys will use ladies for their ultimate goal of the bedroom. The hell with the lady’s fealings. I think this idea stinks and I hope the SOB gets AIDS. And frankly any woman who is so loose to climb in bed with a jerk after only $40 deserves to get AIDS too. What happened to real relationships?
Ive read all the PUA materials and have used them with (limited?) success. The $40 dollar rule is great for girls who want casual sex and when the PUA also just wants that. If you want something more than sex, though, no rule matters. Just get to know the person better and have fun. Thats it. The more fun you guys genuinely have, the better the chance for a relationship.
wow. well i guess if the guy is in it for the casual sex then its perfect: its cheaper than a hooker. but in all honestly, she may as well be a hooker (cuz shes has no dignity and probably sleeps with everyone and has STDs) he is no better because he does the same. i guess there are people like this out there and it makes me sad, wtf is this world coming to? and what happened to relationships? well i hope this dirt bag has fun with his $40 hooker.
sex is great, dont get me wrong, but without love its empty
Well, if you are just looking for sex this is a good idea, but i personally think sex is meaningless without the relationship and love to go with it…
What to say? Is this guy 15 years old? I expect this kind of attitude from pre-teen and teenage boys who think that notching the belt/bedpost is what it’s all about. It’s a little of what I hear from my 13 year old son’s friends. Thankfully, my 21 year old son has far more maturity than this.
I don’t wish illness on this fellow, but otherwise I agree w/ previous commentators: sex is a thing of beauty and spirit; squandering the opp to connect in a deeper way is an easy way to cheapen your own life. Grow up dude. Look yourself in the mirror. Who you see is who you’re really having sex with. Do you like what you see?
I did not see any comments from the female side – so…
Girls I know some of you have a rule – no sex until $xx has been spent – That is just as wrong as the guy wanting to get it for $40 – come on life is too short to waste the potentially beautiful moments on a price tag – use the brains you have and save your body for the right person – it will wear out if you are going to waste it on sensless things -be selective and keep it special!
I have a dating rule coming from female perspective.. Its called the three day rule. Obviously the size of a mans area is slightly important to most women, well in my case when I was single and dating multiple men I would make sure that within the first three days I would somehow maneuvre myself in a cuddle to find out the size in an inconspicuoius way. The reason is because to most men the size of their penis is very touchy and if you are a girl like me who finds that to be somewhat important, You dont want to hurt the guys feelings or let them know that you are not interested or turned off by such a shallow reason. If you do this within three days they wont know if it is just because you just arent “feelin’ it”, or DID actually “feel IT”.
I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to read such wonderful comments expressed by the men regarding this subject. It proves to me that chivalry is not dead, that there are some GOOD MEN left and I hope one day to meet one. God bless each of you for your honesty and posting.
I try not to pay for anything my date orders, and so far it has been a total success: I have to wait longer for sex, but then the sex and the relationship is better.
Surely I didn’t “score” 27 in one year, but I bet you in my case quality was better than quantity.