Plainbutnotjane in the dating forum asks: "I'm 29 and plain as in not pretty. Think of a cross between Ellen Degeneres and Gisele Bundchen in the face, my features are strong and would look better on a man than a woman. I'm in good condtion, 5' 8" and a size 8, I'm healthy. Good teeth, good hair, I'd make a great show horse.
I'm not sure yet but I might be befriended for the purpose of dating by a nice looking successful man. I'm not about to get my hopes up, I've accepted that I'm not the ideal most men are looking for. At the same time I have butterflies when I get a text or call from him. Then I think why would he waste his time with me when he can do better?
If you're a guy, have you ever dated a plain woman when you could do better? Why? And if you're a woman, are you plain and if so have you dated successfully?
Bonny's response: Every single man I've spoken to on this topic (and I've spoken to a LOT) have all said the same thing: what matters more is how a woman holds herself than what she was blessed with genetically. If you actually like yourself and are confident in who you are, there is nothing more attractive, period.
Several books and recent studies have shown the same thing with large sample sizes; Why He Didn't Call You Back by Rachel Greenwald (Buy Direct) comes to mind. She basically did business-style exit interviews with 1000 men (ok that one isn't the biggest sample size, but still), asking them why they didn't want to continue dating a woman, and then published the results. Every single one of the men's top 10 turn offs for another date were behavioral. Only one kinda sorta involved a woman's appearance - the "Bait and Switch", where a woman presents herself as something she's not - but that one involves a lot more than just the physical (or so the men who answered her questions said), and it applies more so to online dating than anything else.
Another good example is from one of our fellow forum members, who suggested a reality show called Dating in the Dark. Three men and three women on each episode were paired up on dates based on compatibility for a week-long get to know you vacation in total darkness. At the end of the week the singles were then shown each other 'in the light' and got to decide whether or not they wanted to continue dating. Enlightening and heartbreaking at the same time, it became obvious almost immediately that the men who went on about looks really didn't care that much when it came down to a connection - but the women found looks a deal breaker more often than not.
Other than maybe taking a better look at what the other posters have suggested, such as bettering your self esteem, try a simple how to attract someone tactic that both I and other readers have had great results with.