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Bonny Albo

Dating Question - He Suddenly Doesn't Want Commitment

By December 30, 2009

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Janelle asks, "I have been in relationship with a guy for the past 7 months. Now he is saying that he is not looking for a commitment, but thinks that I am. Does he just not want to be with me anymore?"

If your partner of 7 months is suddenly telling you now he doesn't want a commitment, then he's basically saying he doesn't want to be monogamous - whether he has been or not up to this point isn't clear.

If you do want a commitment from him, then its time for you to move on, because his statement clearly says he's not interested in that right now. Does it have anything to do with you? I can't tell from what you've shared, but it really doesn't matter. If you want a commitment and he doesn't, then its time to move on, heal, and then start dating again to meet someone who wants the same things you do.

Now, if you are one of the few women who aren't looking for a commitment, then he may be suggesting he wants an open relationship, that he wants to casually date other people, or that he feels things are getting too serious between the two of you. No way to tell unless you talk to him about it though, and let him know how you feel if you do happen to be on the same page.

Related: Is He Afraid Of Commitment?, Are You Ready To Commit To Each Other? Quiz, The Whys and Hows Of Letting Go.

January 1, 2010 at 12:59 am
(1) pj says:

she’s an idiot

January 1, 2010 at 1:29 pm
(2) Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT says:

Great advice – the reality is if he doesn’t want a commitment he wants to play the field. This can be a painful to admit but it’s best to move on and find someone who is ready and willing to give themselves to you.

You deserve it!

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
The Toolbox at http://LisaKiftTherapy.com

February 23, 2011 at 2:52 pm
(3) nick says:

He could be like other said interested in another girl. The problem with being a girl is alot of times the guy holds the control of picking who he wants as appose to the other way around. :) good luck

April 5, 2011 at 8:03 am
(4) rencontre says:

Wow! This blog content such a great knowledge about dating. I would like to thanks to this site for shearing such amazing tips for dating. This site is awesome for making a date. Thanks

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