Kristen asks: "For the past month I've been dating the perfect guy for me (who also happens to be my ex boyfriends friend...). Well he just told me he can't see me anymore because within the past week he has started talking to his ex fiance again! They've been broken up for 3 years and during that time she has been nothing but malicious towards him and done whatever she could to spite him! I don't understand why this is happening now?! He tells me how much he likes me, but that he's already been through everything with her! I want to know from your past experience, does getting back together with an ex work? Do I still have a chance with this guy?"
I've answered Kristen's question (see: My Perfect Guy Wants Someone Else), but I'm curious as to what you all think. Is there a chance of Kristen and her boyfriend getting back together, or is she better off on her own?
Related: Why Won't He Be My Boyfriend?, Is He Afraid of Commitment?, Getting Back Together With an Ex.
Dear Kristen, There are two bad signs here. One is that your guy is your ex’s best friend; this could mean there was a competitive macho element in him dating you in the first place. But the big one is that he is still hankering after conversation and more with his ex, 3 years after they split up. It doesn’t sound like there is any closure in his mind and there certainly was not in hers. Let him go – it will save you a lot of trouble.
Best wishes to you, from Professional Cupid at Affinity London the Introduction Service
Cheap plug, Cupid. Buy some real advertising.
Kristen, dump him, forget him, be glad to be rid of him. Cut all communication, and when you can, move on. The guy’s a flake.
Doesn’t matter what happens with his ex, never take him back. Never know how many times he might do the same thing. Don’t be his yoyo.
Marc is truely fumed!!! I agree though that dont try to hold him tight when he wants to move away…Let him go. He might know the right choice after going away from you. If he comes back again, he missed you and will know who is the best!
If he comes back it doesn’t necessarily means he missed you and wants you. It could be that it just didn’t work out with her (which is more than likely since it didn’t work in the first place) and he’s just using you because he can’t be with her. Don’t let someone treat you like you’re second best. There are plenty of guys out there who will treat you like number one.
I’m in a similar situation, except that the guy I was dating had been broken up with his ex for a month before we met and started dating. He didn’t tell me about her until the 4th date, and yesterday he told me he was back together with her. I was kind of in shock but just told him I wished him the best and that I respected his decision, but that we could not see each other again. Will let you all know if he ever gets back to me.