We've all had it happen: you go out on a date with someone, things go exceptionally well, and then you never hear from them again.
What went wrong? Depending on how you view the world (and the date), it could go a few different ways:
- Maybe he/she got into a car accident on the way home? I should send them an email to make sure all is well.
- Wow, I really liked him/her. I can't wait to talk to them again! Hm, its been three days? I should check their Facebook status and see what's going on.
- I can't believe he/she didn't get in touch with me yet. I sent them lots of emails/called several times/stopped by their work. Why are they ignoring me? Maybe I'll send another email just to be sure they got the other ones.
- Ah, it happens. Maybe they were just grinning and bearing it and I was too focused on myself to notice.
- Hm. They weren't interested? Surprising, they seemed really into me at the time. Ah well, maybe there's something else going on that I don't know about.
- Thanks for sparing me the heartache and time, wondering what if? Now I know, and I can invest my time in other folks who are either really are into me, or who are more polite to let me know they aren't interested.
Of course, there are other possible variations - as many as there are people. So, you tell me. What's a *good* reason for disappearing after a date? When is it okay? And in turn, when is it not? Has someone ever disappeared after a date with you? What happened, and why do you think it went down that way?
Related: Bad Date Stories, Why Are They Online If They Don't Want To Date?, Why Won't He Date Me?, When He Says He Doesn't Want a Relationship,
I quit using online dating a few years ago, because the girl in the picture usually doesn’t look anything like that anymore. If you use a bogus picture, you have already tried to deceive me and you are done before you started. If you have a problem with your weight, fix it. If you are ok with it, then post your real picture. But I digree, so now I only date women I meet in person.
It just happened to me this past week. I went on two dates with a guy last week, the first just to meet and talk at his house and he made a simple dinner. Conversations flowed and things were fine. A few days later I suggested we go on a picnic to a local Springs, again things went well and he seemed to like me. I am in a living situation I can’t leave at the moment and it happens to be with the man I’ve been in love with for the past 4 years, but he claims we haven’t been in a relationship this entire time. Well, my date was still in love with another woman but they decided to move on and date other people because neither wanted to move and it just wasn’t going to work.
We talked about what we would do next, I said it was his turn to plan and then I didn’t hear back from him for 3 days. He said he was going out of town for one day to work but wasn’t sure how long it would take. When I got no answer from 3 messages I figured they decided to see about working things out. She, by a weird coincidence happens to be on my Yahoo chat and I hadn’t seen her on either. I messaged her about something else and said if she talked to him to have him message me. Well, he did the next morning. He was with her the entire weekend and she is moving in with him and they are getting married! Funny thing is the guy I live with said oh, so she didn’t’ want him but no one else could have him either? I had to laugh because I just found out he’s had a girlfriend for the past 6 months in addition to all the flings he’s had and as soon as I had 2 dates set up he started acting jealous and real smart allecky! I had already told someone before this happened to me that , that was what he acted like, he didn’t want or love me but no one else was going to either! I’m trying to move on, and can’t move right now but it’s hard when you’re still in love with someone.!
I can’t say that it’s ever happened to me. But this used to be something that made me extremely curious when I saw it happening to people.
As you said, there are many reasons why this might happen. But for the most part, I think it’s because the person who chose not to stay in touch was bored by the other person.
To me, the main reason why someone would avoid a date is to avoid awkwardness. If you don’t know how to iron out awkward silences in your interactions with the opposite sex, then perhaps it is time that you learnt.
I think very often people are nice and friendly enough on dates even though they don’t feel chemistry. I’ve been out with nice women who were fun to be with, but it didn’t mean they were attracted to me even though I often assumed they were. Women feel social pressure to be nice to a fault. Often I’ve interpreted her being nice the whole time on a date as interest on her part when in reality she was just being “nice.” So no response after a date always means no interest.