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Bonny Albo

Being Single During the Holidays

By December 6, 2010

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While many articles and how-to posts focus on how to cope with being single during the holidays, few discuss what there is to celebrate and embrace. The most obvious is the ability to kiss whomever you'd like under the mistletoe, but what about:

  • Being able to take a holiday wherever and whenever you want (i.e. solo travel events and organizations);
  • Not having to attend uncomfortable or difficult holiday events (i.e. a meet the parents dinner);
  • Spending more money on a holiday gift for yourself than anyone else;
  • Taking the time to give back to others (i.e. perform community service);
  • Not being woken up at an unreasonable hour to open gifts (unless you are a single parent);
  • Decking your house out for the holidays any which way you want - or not at all; and
  • Having more time to spend with your own family, instead of splitting it between several different families.

How do you celebrate being single over the holiday season?

Related Content: Meet Someone New During the Holidays

Comments
December 8, 2010 at 11:24 pm
(1) Michelle Marchand Canseco says:

This is excellent advice for people who are actively looking for a partner, and those that are happy being single. If you are miserable during the holidays, and you want to meet someone you’re not going to be giving off a very positive energy.

There are a lot of reasons to enjoy the holidays no matter what your relationship is at the moment.

December 9, 2010 at 7:18 am
(2) Sarah Greenly says:

I’ve always said you should be happy whether you’ve got a partner or not, everyone’s single at some point, you should enjoy that time not resent it! I use my single time to get more work done, spend more time with friends and save money lol.

December 10, 2010 at 4:17 pm
(3) Anthony S Carter says:

The freedom under the mistletoe is, of course, a great one, especially when used to your advantage. Make the most of all of those social gatherings that are taking place. After all, just because you enter into the holiday season with a status of “single” doesn’t have to mean you’ll start the new year all alone.

December 11, 2010 at 7:21 pm
(4) Student Driver says:

Holidays have always been difficult for me, since I was a child in a difficult family and often was delegated to the sympathy chair at the dinner table of random friend’s homes. Truth was, I was lonely even with those people around. Then I got older, still sucked. One year, my then fiance and I flew to her parent’s home in Seattle, and that was the first time that I didn’t feel so lonely around the holidays. That relationship imploded a year later and I began sharing the holidays with friends who became the family I never had, until they all moved away within 2 years of eachother. It was like a giant mass exodus from Massachusetts…with myself the sole remaining one.

Then the holidays were quiet by choice, until my weird hormonal rewiring and I started to like men (WTF?!) and so, last year, I was dating up a storm, and distracted.

This year? Well, I am in love with my lover, who isn’t ready to be at that level, since he is still suffering PTSD from his relationship with an insane woman, which ended in January of this year. That means I am lonely in a different way. While he is 60 miles away in the compund of his own mildly dysfunctional yet functioning family, I sit alone with my dog. I am invisible still in his circle, I am not even sure if they know that he is seeing someone.

So, what will I do? How will I celebrate the holidays alone? My dog, a move into a new apartment, breaking in a new kitchen over wine and a bad netflix movie. However, I can’t deny that I will be feeling a little sorry for myself though. I bought a perfect dress for the potential meeting of the parents. Edgy enough so they see that my personality is similiar to that of their son, but conservative enough that I appear respectable, sweet and perhaps even demure. I won’t be wearing it for them.

I’ll probably post my melancholy mood on my blog, at that point, a little over a year old. My readers are sadists and love watching me squirm, I am convinced. ;)

December 23, 2010 at 4:27 pm
(5) Cougel says:

Good advice- especially buying something for yourself :) and taking a solo vacation. I’m taking myself to south beach!

November 3, 2011 at 7:43 pm
(6) tony says:

Well..I can say this..I am single and have been for over 10 years..I rem the meaning of Christmas..and yet, it does hurt..A holiday, I remember the meaning of..Feeling that meaning in the air..I have always felt so alive during that time..But, 10 years ago, I caught a woman cheating on me (whom was my wife)…and ever since then, it always hurts…You remember how awesome thanksgiving was with her family and yours together..Then going shopping together and celebrateing the meaning of christmas, while shopping together..So yes, I do admit I do love times being single..But the holidays, are really hard on one..

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