Stephen asks: "I am trying to find a 'real' adult dating site. It seems all that I have come across do not have real/true information... as if it has been hyped to get you to join. Amateur Match is one for sure. The people on there either do not exist or are trumped up. I sent the company an email to complain, but they didn't reply. And when I clicked on a picture, the city and/or state changed to someplace nearby... what a scam. There has to be a legitimate adult dating site out there. Help?"
Hi Stephen, and thanks to my colleague Cory Silverberg (About.com's Guide to Sexuality) for sending you my way. To answer your question: it depends on what you mean by legitimate. Are you looking for an adult dating site that caters to adult encounters or casual sex, that isn't full of scammers or fake profiles? If that's the case, I'll admit its pretty hard to find. My first recommendation would be to try Lavalife's Intimate Encounters section (Buy Direct); you sign up with them and then decide which of the three sections you want to be a part of (Dating, Relationships or Intimate Encounters). You can use different handles in each section under the same account too, so no one will be any wiser if you want to advertise for one thing in one place without ruining your chances for something more should it come up.
It's pretty hard for any site these days (especially the big ones) to stop fake profiles and scammers from signing up, but I think I get what you're after. There are a lot of adult dating sites that don't have a lot of users, or use sneaky marketing tactics like the bait and switch you're referring to. We've all seen them - the ads show a bevvy of beautiful women in your area, but when you sign up, you realize that the women were just ads that were geographically targeted to your search preferences.
After Lavalife, I only know of a few others that are worth mentioning, although I've yet to find one that's truly 'ideal': Club Intimate, Fling, Adult Match Doctor, Get It On, and Sexy Ads. The last one I haven't actually reviewed fully, but the site owners took the time to add a profile on this site. Adult dating sites I don't recommend? ShagPal and Adult Friend Finder.