Michelle asks: I met a guy at a bar about two weeks ago. We exchanged numbers when we first met and he called me the next day to set up a double date a few days later. That went well, so we spent some time together at my place a few days after that. He then asked if I wanted to go out to lunch in a few days (which we are tomorrow). However, I'm not sure if he wants to date me or just be friends (we've kissed only once, and I was the one that made the move). He is shy and it is difficult to read him. He is a great guy and I want to date him, but how can I tell if he feels the same way? Or could I just be impatient? I've only known this guy two weeks now.
Bonny's answer: From what you've shared Michelle, I'd say that the two of you are dating already. (See The Definition of Dating for more about my take on why, and what I believe dating is today). You are spending time together to get to know one another better, and you both continue to instigate contact. Sure, you made the first move and kissed him, but what's to say he wouldn't have if you hadn't? And frankly, if someone doesn't want to kiss you, they won't.
I'd stop trying to push things further ahead then they need to be. Things sound great so far, and progressing in a way that many women wish the early stages of a relationship would. If in a week or two things haven't moved towards a discussion along these lines and you are still hanging out once or twice a week, I'd broach the subject gently, thoughtfully and playfully. "Is this a date? Because I'd like to think it is," with a twinkle in your eye might work, but let your own imagination and personality shine though. Then, let him answer at his own speed, and without pressure. If he decides the two of you aren't on the same page, you can start looking for someone else you'd like to date that suits your relationship needs.
What say you, dear readers? Do you think Michelle is being impatient? Does he like her as a friend or more?