An overheard conversation about a magazine article got me thinking the other day about cheating and betrayal in dating relationships. Specifically, an article that a friend of a friend read stated that one of the newest dating rules was that you didn't tell your partner if you'd cheated, as it would only add to the pain on both sides. Rather, the article suggested (as told to me second hand), if you were remorseful for your actions and knew you'd never do it again, there was no reason to share with your partner about the unfaithfulness.
Although I kind of, sort of, get what the article was getting at (why stir the pot if the issue has been resolved already?), why would any relationship 'expert' tell people that betraying their partner was acceptable behavior? Sure, coming forward might end the dating relationship, but it might also strengthen things after the initial shock. In fact, I know of several folks whose relationships were better off after having been cheated on, serving as a wake up call to all parties with regards to what wasn't working, and who gave them a means to make their bond even stronger and better than it was prior to the infidelity.
Which isn't to say I condone cheating, or that I feel cheating is a good thing for a relationship - I most definitely do not. But I know I'd much rather know if my partner had betrayed me than be left in the dark, so I could (at the very least) make an informed decision about my next step.
But what about you? Do you think that its ok not to tell your partner that you cheated, especially if you've learned from the experience and it will never happen again? Or, if your partner cheated on you, would you want them to tell you?