There's a lot of information on the 'net about how/when/if to date a single parent, and just as much content focuses on how to get back into the dating game after divorce, kids, or both. But who actually talks about the perks of dating single moms and dads?
So here is my personal list of the perks of dating a single parent. If you think I've missed an important point, then its your turn to add some perks in the comment field.
- A single parent is less likely to waste your time, since they (probably) had to pay for child care or have their ex watch their child(ren) to go on a date with you.
- Most single parents won't be pushing for a serious relationship early on, so as to avoid having their child(ren) involved unnecessarily.
- On the flip side of the last perk, if the single parent you are dating has sole or shared custody, you can safely assume their commitment issues are minimal to nonexistent.
- Single parents are some of the most patient people out there. They are also - by necessity - some of the most organized.
- Becoming a parent is an evolutionary process; it changes people. Caring, tenderness, reliability and stability are all traits that, if not held prior to having kids, frequently appear after having children.
- Single parents just don't have time for drama. You'll find few that play games.
- You know that if a single parent wants to move towards a serious relationship with you, they've really vetted the relationship before taking the next step. Once bitten, twice shy lends itself well to this example.
Thank you for this message. I am a single mother with sole custody of my son. These are very true.
I have dated single fathers and found it to be very challenging. There is always an issue with the ex and the child. I have had no sucess in doing this but I might reconsider after reading your article.
I must say, I do tend to shy away from dating single mom’s – mostly due to my selfish needs for the other person to spend as much time with me. But, with the people I have been dating lately (people without children), you would be surprised with all the games, irresponsibility, and complete lack of thought I get from people. On the other hand, you make a good point that single parents have got their sh*t together (sometimes out of necessity and don’t fool around with someone else’s heart as they just don’t have the time for it. I will definately give the genre another look
Sorry but this did not change my mind about guys with kids UNDER 18. I have dated guys with young kids and it ia a pain in the butt. You have to take them with you everywhere, dates are around what the kid wants to do, you have to go to school plays and other stuff. Huge hassles with the ex too. I don’t have kids and don’t want any after my dating experiences with dealing with these kids. BAGGAGE is what it is.
Raising children under the age of 18 is called MATURITY and RESPONSIBILITY and merely summing up parenting responsibilities as a hassle and a “pain in the butt” is completely disrespectful towards any good parent. I am a single mother of 2 and am very grateful that I am dating a self-less man that thinks I’m worth being with and is willing to put up with “baggage” and drama and actually appreciates me more for trying to be a good parent and partner, despite the “drama” that comes with having kids. So, thank you for doing society a favour in making the decision to not have kids — we need less self-centred people in the world raising the future of our society and thinking of them as unnecessary “baggage” and a “pain in the butt”.
I’ve been dating a single father for little over 2 years now. I have no kids and never wanted any, the kids and I have a good relationship now that we have gotten used to each other being around. The only issue that I’ve found is that I am very strict and always a step ahead of the kids which leaves me frustrated, becauce I’ve noticed that most parents have the ability to tune out thier children.. some more than others.. I can’t do that however, and I get soooo mad. So make a sure you have similar ideas about parenting before settling in… save your self the stress
Hi, Thank you for this post…Good luck too you and God bless!…
Yes dating someone single is always a good start
It’s so interesting to see how strong emotions are around this issue. I am a divorced father of two young boys. Joint custody with my ex allows some down time to try to fit dating in. I just got out of a whirl wind romance with a woman who has sole custody of her daughter. While it posed challenges, I was so smitten with her I was willing to address the challenges maturely and realistically. Children are people with their own needs. They were a member of the family before you happened along. If you can’t acknowledge that and respect that for the sake of the child and the parent you want to date, I am certain you are in for heartache. In my case, the mom I dated. broke it off because I ultimately did need more availability than she could or was willing to offer. It was a valuable learning experience.
I really liked some of the points you brought up, especially how Single Parents are very patient people. I myself raised my son alone, and was very careful to whom I brought around my son. Ive found that dating Single Dads even ones with full custody, generally dont play the Drama Games.
Excellent Article and thank you for sharing it!!!
As a single father, I had trouble sleeping. But it was actually my son who acted as the catalyst that brought me to my soul mate. I love my little boy dearly. So I got very worried when one evening, he just took off on his own, went to New York to go looking for his “new mommy”. After some panicky inquiries, I finally managed to track him down … at the top of the Empire State Building. I gratefully hugged him and we were about to take the elevator back down, when suddenly, there she stood, holding my son’s satchel and teddy bear … The girl of my dreams! Needless to say, all three of us took the elevator down together, holding hands, as we headed toward our happily-ever-after life. Thank you, son!
Children are not baggage and living life’s ups and downs is not drama! If I hear words that describes children in that way or someones life, well, I know that person is not worth my time of day! Maturity, responsibility and thinking beyond self is an necessity in a successful, meaningful relationship. There are no guarantees after you say “I do!” Whether divorced by means of choice, becoming widowed by extenuating circumstances, men and and men have learned to recover by survival such an ordeal in order
to move forward in the next chapter of their life. Most parents have gained strength because they have children. They have endure more challenges, pains, situations, sacrifices that only comes with raising children. The paybacks sometimes painful but other times the greatest that life can return to you. How can anyone not want to date a single dad or single mom. They know more about relationships and give and take, patience, sacrificing, doing for others and receiving. You don’t know what you are missing and most likely a person you can count on being there in the end!
IT’S NEVER A MISTAKE to care for someone. That’s always a good thing. Isn’t it?
Very true facts. I started to figure out that I don’t want to date anyone who isn’t a single mom. I would have to say that single mom’s are usually the best in my case. It shows responsibility and maturity but there are sometimes where it conflicts with the ex on both sides, depending on the factor I guess.
What’s up i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anywhere, when i read this post i thought i could also make comment due to this brilliant post.