You broke up. Years passed, and both of you moved on. Occasionally a reminder pops up of the time spent together, but for the most part there's no contact.
Then, one day out of the blue, the ex says hi. Maybe you ran into each other on the street, he found you on Facebook, she sent you an email. They ask, "How are you doing?" and, "Maybe we could catch up sometime."
For many, fear sets in. Do I want to see this person? What could they possibly want? Is a reconciliation possible? Are they getting married? Do I really want to bring all those old feelings, memories, back up again?
It's a tough decision to meet with an ex, depending on how the relationship ended and how much time has passed since its demise. I've heard all sorts of stories:
- High school sweethearts that haven't seen each other in 30 years, who meet again at a reunion and by the time dessert is served have already chosen their wedding date;
- A couple breaks up because one has to move far away, just to find themselves next door neighbors in a completely different town four years later;
- Two people share one great date but circumstances don't allow for another. Seven years later, one contacts the other on Facebook, asking for meet up number two.
When readers and clients ask me if they should either contact an ex or reply to contact from an ex, my answer depends on the nature of the relationship and how much time has elapsed. But the stories above prove that sometimes, the rules aren't worth following and connection has its own time line. So what do you think? If an ex contacted you, would you reply? Is there an ex that you want to make contact with again? If you've had an ex contact you, or if you've already done the contacting, how did it go?
Related: Getting Back Together With an Ex, How To Get Your Ex Lover Back Book Review, Does She Miss Me After the Breakup?
Have gone back with one ex in peticular, but it never works out, but we have remained friends for many yrs. (known him since we were 18 y/o. Other ex’s I leave well enough alone and do not contact, if they contact me I usually don’t contact them. Ex’s are Ex’s for a reason. Don’t think of just the good times, there must of been some unplesant times too, do you really want to go back to that?
trying to get in contact with Ur ex will make you fill bad at the first place you need scale off all communicating medium with your ex for while and in order to rebuild you need to resume communication with your ex.doing this will make his or her affection for you strong.
I think it depends a great deal on the circumstances. If circumstance denied you an opportunity with this person years ago then it is worth exploring. If you just want to re-visit old pain because the familiarity is comfortable then move along.
i left my ex because i did not feel he loved me as much we have been good friends and were better friends in the absenceof a binding relationship.we saw and dated other people and evne talked about our relationships.we are no longer in those past relationship and he feelswe should get back togrther and get married.he claims he could never get what he wanted in the other people .and am still confused does he really mean it ?its been 2 years now does he really love me?
I had an “ex-back” scenario that almost destroyed me. The first time you break up, it’s bad and heartbreaking. The second time, there are no more delusions.
We took the gloves off and said some of the worst things that two people could have ever said to each other…
I didn’t date again until just recently (almost 3 years later).
What changed? I did. I had to. I was so miserable and some sick part of me still wanted him back even though every possible piece of information I knew about this guy was screaming at me to count my blessings and move on.
I found the book, The Art of Irresistible. I figured out that I had decided to put a ton of effort into a guy a was never meant to be with. We were almost completely incompatible, but I had made the decision to make my next relationship work.
The next guy was the ex that had me on the verge of suicide…
Now that I know how to choose the perfect guy for me, I am a new woman! Life is good, girls!
this is happening to me right now…a year ago, we were together and happy. then all of a sudden, she stopped talking to me. completely shattered my heart. the only girl to ever make me cry. it took this whole time to get over her…and now im finding that i never really got over her at all. she contacted me for the first time since, from her new facebook account earlier this week. she told me she misses me, and wants to move here to tucson from minneapolis…a year ago, when we both lived in georgia, she only lived an hour away from me, and she never once made the effort to spend time with me…and now she wants to move all the way across the united states for me??? all i do is yearn to have her here in my arms. everytime i think about her and how much it hurts she’s still not beside me, it hurts to the point of tears…
I am engaged to the love of my life, we have been best friends for 4 years, last year his ex from 30 yrs ago came back into his life , they have a son together and now a grandaughter. He says he loves me and i have told him i think he loves her more than me. He answers me not possible… but on occasion he dosnt delete the text messages between them. most of it is innocent enough but its alot of I love you back and forth, she will tell him she loves him more than he knows, he once told her a nibble on your ear…. That one set me off……. I have stopped telling him i look from time to time and she and i communitcate but i dont feel its right to ask her if she wants him back and cause something worse ….. Him leaving me when there is nothing there between them but freindship now. Help me please… I love this man with all my heart…..
i am now married 8 years, recently about 2 month ago, i meet my ex. We broke up for 20 years ago. We have had pretty much exciting time then and i had totally forgotten about it since till we meet up again. Now lot of picture flashing in my mind while making with my wife……
wow fredrick, sounds like you are in trouble, and your wifes heart might get broken…… That really didnt help me…… makes me feel even more insecure about this…
It really depends on what your intentions are. If you want to get back together you might want to have no contact so as to establish your power. If you just want closure then you might want to meet up. But just be aware that it opens you up to painful memories flooding in, leaving you vulnerable.
if you want to get an ex back youll want to be assert your power in the relationship that includes using the no contact rule. If you dont want them back you may just want closure, but meeting up with a past lover makes you vulnerable to feel old pain
i need help
I left my ex bf because he need to move in US. but we dont have a formal break up. After 1 week, i’ve got committed to other guy (college classmate) but I still love him (my ex bf) . We been together for almost 3 yrs. .we broke up because i reliazed that i still love my ex bf. after 1 yr that i am single. I received an email from my ex bf he says that he’s going back here in the Philippines. He wants to see me and he also asked my number. That was the time that I felt the all memories that we have been together. When we met up and I can that we are matured now. We still love each other and no one can beat on us although ou relationship is LDR. So if i were you just follow your heart, your feelings. You will find the true happiness in life.
Thank you for the time you have given me to help make me a better person and make much more and see much more in my life. I know I had personal problems. I guess I did not want to see what the truth was about my direction in life and why I was doing certain things. Your insight and genuine ability to be able to see what the real situation is with me is helping me overcome the boundaries I have right now. I know it will not be easy the path I have chosen but at least now I do know what path I want to be on., Thanks to you I know a little bit about myself enough to help me make changes within. Thank- you once again. It’s really is a big help to have you in my life and on my side. I will forever be grateful to you Dr. Oziza Temple I had already tried three different internet spell caster’s services, but all the guys I met were jerks and scams. Then my friend told me about Oziza Temple. I wasn’t sure anything would come of it, but I thought, why not take a chance? I cast a Love Spell, and the very next week a gorgeous guy came up to me at a club and asked me to dance. He is caring, kind, romantic – everything I always wanted. We’ve been together for six months, and we’re talking about getting married. I’m a believer!” If you require any assistance, you can contact him through Dr.ozizatemple@yahoo.co.uk
Ok…. things have progressed…. He has been distancing him self more… I have been posting love notes on his facebook page… just so he knows… and also posted a comment that i will fight for our love but if in the end i lose then at least i know i will have given it my all… Well evidently she took that as a personal attack on herself… She has been pressuring him to back things off with me… I guess he told her he was but aside of feeling that things were a miss… He never said anything to me…. and thats all he had to do…. I only want him to be happy even if i have to be miserable… Well things came to a head last night… I dont know if i believe it or not… will wait and see… but she said she was tired of waiting for him to end things with me…. and said goodbye… God i hope its true…… She even went to far to make him angry with me and told him i had sent her text messages telling her to stay away from him…. I never did anything like that…. In fact i told her if she stopped talking to him it would tear his heart out…. God i dont know what to do… She tries to say im obbsessed with him… and that what they had was true love… I give up….. What am i supposed to do..
Help things have progressed…. He has been distancing him self more… I have been posting love notes on his facebook page… just so he knows… and also posted a comment that i will fight for our love but if in the end i lose then at least i know i will have given it my all… Well evidently she took that as a personal attack on herself… She has been pressuring him to back things off with me.I guess he told her he was but aside of feeling that things were a miss… He never said anything to me…. and that’s all he had to do…. I only want him to be happy even if i have to be miserable… Well things came to a head last night. I don’t know if i believe it or not… will wait and see…
oops sorry for the double comment
Yes me and my first love have been reunited after 20 years through Facebook and it’s amazing that we both been married we are both divorced and now we are both single and we still love each other.
After being in relationship with him for seven years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone on-line and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his name is Dr. Joel his email is azakaspiritualtemple@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.
After being in relationship with him for seven years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his name is Dr. Joel his email is azakaspiritualtemple@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.
When I married my husband I was already pregnant and so I didn’t have a job. He had a really good job though so I was able to stay home and take care of our son when He was born. When we had our second child we moved to a bigger house, but then strange things started to happen. Things would fly off the walls and doors would slam at night. Our oldest son talked about seeing figures and hearing voices. We consulted a medium and they said the house was haunted. After living there about a year more with only minor occurrences we moved out. That was when the bad luck started to happen. Everything started to fail, with my husband’s job, our money and our luck in general. I went back to the same medium and they told me that a spirit had followed me and placed a curse upon me for disturbing it and not being respectful in the previous house. He tried to remove it but was unable. The misfortune kept going on and getting more severe as I tried to search out someone to break the curse. But when I found DR.BOOMA spell he finally did it. Things started turning around almost immediately after he cast the spell and have been great from there! This was really a miracle for us, thank you DR.Booma from the bottom of my heart!CONTACT DR.BOOMA VIA THIS EMAIL:boomaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com …CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:boomaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com CONTACT him to profer SOLUTIONS TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. Posted by:miss faith
Am so happy to tell the whole world that my ex boyfriend is back to me after 3years of our break up. He left me and change his contact, I tried all I could to make him come back to me as we were before but all my efforts failed. A friend introduced me to this spell caster who cast a spell for me and after 48hours of his spell my ex came back looking for me. Today we are happy together as we were before. All thanks goes to kabaka for helping me bounce back to life. If any one on this site needs the help of a spell caster, you can contact him via his email KABAKASPELL@GMAIL.COM or his phone number +2348169750752.
Here it is, its is killing me inside out! My story: high school sweethearts gone through the most crap in the world, lost my virginity to him, shared my troubled childhood with him. Grew up in Europe and lived with parents that lived apart to make their marriage work, in other words awful parental issues. My ex shared similar experiences and got through their parents separation whilst i was in his life. People say parents do not effect their children but our parents failed marriages effected us a lot. Until one day my father decided to move away to make a new start. We never broke up, but lost contact, in the meanwhile his life went downhill. I was always worried about him, he was my fist love and i always wanted him to do well in life because he was smart and above and and beyond intelligent.
anyhow I dated guys and was in a 3 years relationship without any sexual intercourse, broke it off. Not long later met my husband and have been married for a good 2 and half years. Things ca not be better. However i Lost my father not long after i moved countries, my mother to this day his widow is a though cookie but his death was not easy on me, especially as i grew knowing his three colours and cover those. I don’t feel safe to truly speak about him around my husband, however i went back home this year and met my ex. Whose life like mine turned upside down, we never dealt with our unspoken break up. His best friend came along when we met and kept hinting at making my decision to marry without having tried to contact my ex beforehand. It brought up memories and feelings i thought had long gone. We did not have a bad relationship, even if i try zoo hard to forget about him I can not, my husband is everything i want however the chemistry between myex and i has not gone unnoticed by either of us……I AM SO F***!!!!
My ex and I broke up 10 years ago. She went away to college. I was dating someone and she would always come back and try to get me back but I couldn’t trust her. She kept contacting me for the past 10 years. She just recently got a hold of me and told me she missed me and that our relationship was the best one she had. She would make comments like she wanted to get together but I think it may have been revenge.
Past… I wish thats how my man felt…. This woman from his past has done everything she can to get him to distrust me… Told him i sent her texts to stay away from him… Nope… Never did… wanted to…. I will admit that…. But this woman slept with his best friend while she was pregnant with their son back in high school….. Used to talk to me till she realized she still wanted him back…. then she was and is my enemy…. I think things are turning around… I hope with all my heart… For your sake…. Stay away from your ex……
Really…. were asking for honest advice…. Not spell weaving….
see when i was only 16 i meet the man who i loved and he loved me but i didnt thank i was in love with him but i rellsed i loved him and now im 18 and i just can stop thanking about him but the bad thing about it he moved back to somerset ky if i dont see him im going to go in sane but i dont know if he still love me i just dont know how to see him can some one just give me so advice i need some one to talk to
My HS love got in touch with me 4 months ago saying he was divorced five years ago. I have been divorced for 7. He live far but wanted to go out when he came back and i agreed but it had to wait till his work allowed. we havent seen each other in 25 years. we would talk every night and text all day and he said he never stopped loving me and i feel the same. Because of some medicine i am on certain memory loss is normal so i wanted to see if i could do i search online for his birthday( which is harder than you think…found alot more though) It is strang I rem his old phone # from hisparents house, the month he was born, his faviot color but not the day. But a woman kept coming up with a differnt last name as a possible relitive looked it up on FB and seen his dog that he sent me pictures of and storys on her timeline that he told me without her of course. when i told he i found out he told me they are together to raise the kids and when he moves in a few months she isnt going with him and wants me to wait. (he is moving here) he said he never planned when he contacted me that we would have the same feelings he was just wondering how i was. I told him he broke my heart and i dont answer his calls or texts as often. i know i have never loved anyone like i love him.
Hi. An ex girlfriend of mine has decided she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore after 4 years of contact after we broke up. Now after a few weeks of silence she emailed me saying ” got engaged !!! ” ( her exact words ) and attached a photo of the ring. Which has confused me. Is she rubbing it in my face and trying to upset me ? Or is she playing games. Or does she just want me to be happy for her ? I can’ t decipher how it’s meant.
an old love of mine has re-appeared after nearly 20 years and my head is constantly buzzing with ‘what ifs’. We had a brief affair when we were kids,i was 19 he was 22 although he had a wife and a child at the time. please don’t misunderstand me, this is not something i ever did again, coming between a family….it was just that we had practically grown up together and our feelings for each other were acted upon. Anyway we were found out and i didn’t see him again, 6 months later i got with my wonderful life partner who i love dearly. I was working in a shop months later and my old love walked in and said that we were meant to ride off in to the sunset together. I remember saying to him he toke too long about it and that i was now happy with someone else. Well, years passed by and i found my old love drank in the same pub we do occasionally.To cut a long story (which im finding this is becoming) i told him i think about him and know i shouldnt to which he replied i was the love of his life and in another life time things would of been different!! I now know with adult insight why he disappeared from my life all those years ago, he had things to sort out which were messy, where as i was carefree and single, i had no mess to attend to.Any way i think we just need closure on this, for both of us, as we attend the same weddings, christenings and other events and there is an underlying tension. but i find it oh so sad as i know he was definitely The One x