Scott wants to know what he can do about a woman he's recently reunited with after a 30-year absence. She can't decide between dating Scott - knowing he wants something long-term and potentially lifelong - and the casual, going-nowhere relationship she's been in and out of for years.
For the details (as well as my in-depth answer) take a peek at Why Can't She Decide Between a Casual Fling or Something More? In the meantime, what would you recommend to Scott, a gentleman who can't fathom why a woman wouldn't choose a long-term and stable relationship over an ongoing fling? Have you been in a similar position? What did you do?
Related: What is Casual Dating?, Can Casual Sex Become a Relationship?, Gift Ideas for New or Casual Relationships.
Scott should play hard to get. I think he has made himself to available and should follow your advice Bonnie and cut off contact from his end. Meaning if she calls he should answer but not give her too much, be evasive with making plans, insinuate business, and basically have her chasing him. This women wants a challenge and Scott should give it to her. Keep in mind tho that what Bonnie is saying makes sense, if you are looking for a comfortable relationship this isn’t it..
There are a ton of middle aged daters that have decided that the long term relationship might not be the best option for them. These are not raging man or woman “sluts” they are typically only dating one person at a time, but they simply have no plan of getting a mortgage together or commiting to a growing old together type of arrangement. I own a casual dating site. (www.findmeahotgirl.com), and not to plug, but simply give some authority to the statement that after being connected to the “casual” industry for a time, that it is becoming a bit normal. Women and Men alike have simply been burned by planning your life around someone else for them to simply decide that they no longer want to be there, leaving moms to take care of two kids and a home, or dads left hanging because his wife of 12 years “needs to go find herself”. Don’t be afraid of a casual relationship, if it can turn to something lasting it will. Don’t try to establish that in the beginning as a requirement. Enjoy each other’s company, if you wind up on the porch in the end side by side in a rocking chair. Great! If you find you outgrow each other in a year, part as lifetime friends, and gain memories that you will cherish forever.