8 Essential Rules for Dating

Let's face it: Dating can be a little intimidating. That fact has nothing to do with confidence, either. Even if you are completely comfortable with yourself and know that you're a good conversationalist, the idea of putting your best self forward and being vulnerable with a stranger who may become the love of your life is, well, daunting. If you're in the market for a relationship—whether it's a casual fling or something long-term—consider this your guide to modern dating.

Here, we've compiled the eight essential rules to follow when putting yourself out into the dating pool. Following our advice is the best way to put your stress on the shelf and enjoy yourself on your next date.

Put Yourself Out There

Meeting people can be stressful, but try to overcome any negative emotions you have surrounding dating. After all, the more you put yourself out there, the better your chances are to meet someone you really like. If you're not into dating apps, try a different avenue, like asking your friends to fix you up. You could even scope the scene at your favorite places, which increases your odds of finding someone with shared interests. If, for example, you love yoga, see if you find anyone in the class attractive and talk to them afterward.

Keep an Open Mind

Being open-minded is perhaps the most important rule on this list. You may think you have a type, but maintaining that mentality may inadvertently close you off to meeting someone you could fall in love with. Just because someone has different interests than you or isn't your typical "go-to" doesn't mean that you should automatically write them off as someone you wouldn't be interested in. What do you have to lose by giving someone a chance?

And Keep Your Options Open, Too

There's no rule that says you can only date one person at a time. In fact, we think it's best to keep your options open at first—at least until you figure out if you and one of the people you've been seeing have a real connection. There's no harm in grabbing coffee, drinks, or dinner with multiple people in one week. If things do progress with one person, it might be best to let things cool down with anyone else until you figure out where you stand, though.

Be Honest About What You're Looking For

When it comes to dating, being honest about what you want is key, and that's true whether you're seeking a serious relationship or a more casual partner. The fastest way to end up disappointed is by not being clear about your goals: If you're hoping to find a longterm partner, share that fact early. Yes, it can be nerve-wracking to tell someone you barely know that you're only interested in exploring relationships with people who are also looking for commitment, it's far worse to invest your time in energy into someone who doesn't ultimately want the same things.

Stay Safe

It's something no one wants to think about, but you need to prioritize your safety when entering the dating pool. Going the online dating route? Avoid sharing too many personal details—like your last name, address, or phone number—until you've gotten a read on the person. Once you're comfortable, start by texting or chatting on the phone. Build a rapport and suss out the situation. If anything feels off, it's best to step away. Assuming all seems to check out and you're ready to meet for a date, we always recommend letting a friend know where you are, meeting in a public place, and staying clearheaded so that you can make good choices from start to finish.

Whatever you do, make sure to prioritize your safety throughout the date. If you don't feel comfortable or safe while out with someone, do not worry about staying to be polite. It's also best to arrive and depart on your own—while it's very kind of someone to offer to pick you up for the first date, if they're a complete stranger to you, it's safer to catch your own ride this time.

Set Your Own Pace

When you're dating someone new, it's important to move the relationship forward at your own pace. We don't necessarily subscribe to society's long-standing and unspoken rule of waiting a specific amount of time before being intimate with your new partner, but we do believe that waiting is okay if you aren't completely sure that intimacy is something you're ready for yet.

Remember That Forming Connections Takes Time

Speaking of setting your own pace, take some of the stress off yourself and remember that finding the perfect person for you won’t happen overnight. So rather than rushing the process and settling on a partner who doesn’t meet all of your needs, it’s in your best interest to put in the time it takes to date more people and up your chances of finding the one who makes you happiest. 

Maintain a Positive Attitude

We get it: No one can be positive all the time. However, when it comes to dating, try your best to keep any negativity at bay because if you go on a first date thinking it will be a disaster, it probably will be. Think of it this way: If you go out for drinks with someone you weren't that into, it was just two or so hours of your life, right? However, if you're on your way to a first date thinking, "I'm going to laugh a lot, order my favorite cocktail, and have a great time even if there's no second date," you'll have plenty of fun. The power of positive thinking is definitely real.