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Bonny Albo

Why Doesn't He Want To Be My Boyfriend?

By May 15, 2013

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Ruby wrote me the other day asking me why the guy she's been dating the past few months won't be her boyfriend. It's a difficult question for me to answer, because there are so many variables. Still, it's a question that many women ask, although it usually comes across like this:

Seriously, those comments and questions are culled from recent dating advice emails I've received. They all sound pretty heartbreaking - and needy. Perhaps those who have written in will see them, and be able to see just how those words come across in print.. because surely the guys they are dating know it, or at the very least feel it.

But for those who still don't understand why the dudes they're hanging out with don't want a relationship, maybe a poll will help. Why do you think men say they don't want to be in a relationship? Feel free to choose more than one answer, or add your own thoughts in the comments.

For those of you with whom a poll doesn't help (and believe me, I get it!) here's my answer to this tricky, sensitive reader question: Why Doesn't He Want To Be My Boyfriend?

Related: When Not To Date, Will My Boyfriend Ever Commit?, Relationship Expectations.

May 15, 2010 at 11:51 am
(1) Sabina says:

maybe its about compatability… (but not as bad as this guy lol) TWO PEOPLE, ZERO COMPATIBILITY

May 18, 2010 at 5:10 pm
(2) Gypsy says:

Men say they don’t want to be in a relationship because…. wait for it… (*gasp*)THEY DON’T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. They do however want to date, and more importantly have sex. They will continue to want to keep their options open until they meet that one girl who knocks their socks off. If that’s not you by all means, move on. The guy you’re trying to ‘change’ is keeping you from the guy who will be sockless because of YOU.

August 26, 2011 at 1:09 am
(3) All Moutain Twin Tip Skis says:

Thank you for sharing this article! you’ve done a great job! Ple keep us updated!

May 29, 2013 at 9:35 am
(4) Speed Dating NYC says:

My advice to keep in mind:

June 4, 2013 at 3:07 pm
(5) Joe says:

why? coz he doesn’t love you enough…. i’ve met a very interesting and beautiful girl on free online dating site …she is my girlfriend and from the first sight i’ve knew that she is my soulmate

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