Why Doesn't He Want To Be My Boyfriend?

Ruby wrote me the other day asking me why the guy she's been dating the past few months won't be her boyfriend. It's a difficult question for me to answer, because there are so many variables. Still, it's a question that many women ask, although it usually comes across like this:

• Why doesn't he love me?
• Why won't he stop dating other women?
• He's acting like we are in a relationship, but refuses to call me his girlfriend.
• Every time I ask him about our relationship status, he avoids me or gets angry.
• Why am I not good enough for him?

Seriously, those comments and questions are culled from recent dating advice emails I've received. They all sound pretty heartbreaking - and needy. Perhaps those who have written in will see them, and be able to see just how those words come across in print.. because surely the guys they are dating know it, or at the very least feel it.

But for those who still don't understand why the dudes they're hanging out with don't want a relationship, maybe a poll will help. Why do you think men say they don't want to be in a relationship? Feel free to choose more than one answer, or add your own thoughts in the comments.

For those of you with whom a poll doesn't help (and believe me, I get it!) here's my answer to this tricky, sensitive reader question: Why Doesn't He Want To Be My Boyfriend?

_{Related: When Not To Date, Will My Boyfriend Ever Commit?, Relationship Expectations.}