1. People & Relationships

Discuss in my forum

Bonny Albo

Am I Making a Big Deal Out of Nothing? Dating Question

By August 30, 2013

Follow me on:

MartyMoj in the dating forums asks: Recently I asked my long term (13 year) live in girlfriend to accompany me to the local small town theatre to watch a movie. We had never been to this theatre before and both of us were looking forward to an outing together.

In line at the concession before the movie started, I made several comments about the price of the concession snacks. I found them to be rather pricey. Once we were seated while waiting for the movie to start, I made comments again regarding the high prices of the snacks and admission to the movie. My girlfriend asked me to stop with the comments and to just enjoy the movie. I did.

I chose seating within the front six rows of the theatre, in a row that was empty. After we were seated, six or seven young junior high girls came and sat in the row directly behind us. Several times during the beginning of the movie, the girls put their feet up on the back of the chairs, which I asked them to not do. They also chatted loudly and giggled non stop about their weekend plans and boyfriends during the first half of the movie. Several times my girlfriend asked me to ask them to stop chatting and giggling, or to find us other seats. I did look around, but there didn't seem to be many other seats available. I did ask the young girls to be quiet. That quiet only lasted for a few minutes and then they continued. I resigned myself to just ignore them and watch the movie.

About half way through the movie, my girlfriend got up unexpectedly and left. I thought that she had gone to the bathroom so I continued to watch the movie. She did not return. When I got home I learned that she had left the theatre and walked home. She is very angry with me stating that she feels that I should not have been complaining about the prices and that I could have done more in dealing with the young girls, like going to talk to the theatre manager. I didn't want to make a scene and thought that I had done as much as I could. Now she will barely speak to me and refuses to go anywhere with me. I think that she was very rude in just leaving me at the theatre and I don't feel that I have done anything wrong. After 13 years I think I should have the right to express my displeasure with prices and certainly she could have spoken to the girls or the manager herself. Am I being unreasonable?

Related: Top Breakup Books, The Best Date Movies of All Time, Dinner and a Movie Date Ideas.

Comments
August 27, 2008 at 4:54 am
(1) eric ige says:

quit complaining about prices. if you dont like, dont buy.
your girlfriend needs to chill.

August 27, 2008 at 7:05 pm
(2) Kath says:

forget going out
just stay home and watch movies there

it is obvious you milked the cow and gave up on being a romantic

grow up/ both of u

marry or get off the pot

August 28, 2008 at 6:54 am
(3) Kate says:

You sound like the kind of person who whinges about everything. Maybe it was the final straw for her. I certainly wouldn’t have lasted 13 years. I would have been out of that cinema on the first date.
Besides, everyone knows cinema snack prices are high.. when was the last time you went? When the two of you were first dating?

August 28, 2008 at 6:54 pm
(4) BKdigi says:

Something behind the scenes is missing in your explanation Martymoj. There are more problems going on within and between you and her than a going to the movie dilemma.

You also didn’t say if you and she pay for your selves like caring adults would or if one of you is deluding your self that the other cares while being financially used. She’s cheap and he’s cheap is said by thieves not by people that are capable of love, truth, care and kindness.

Complaining about anything instead of accepting or improving your self or the situation is mental illness.

How did you become the one responsible for dealing with the young girls? Why wouldn’t she be responsible for dealing with the young girls? I don’t understand that. Or is that one of those delusional female beliefs of a female believing she has the right to tell a man what a man is and what a man is suppose to do? Seems to me that always benefits the female in one way or another.

Kath, you are brainwashed and mind controlled.
Marriage, which is inviting the government, legal system, religion and other people to be involved in a relationship of intimacy that is supposedly between only two individuals doesn’t have anything to do with love, trust, caring or intimacy. Marriage isn’t going to solve their problems. Marriage would create more problems for them from what I believe is going on behind the scenes in their kind, truth filled relationship and their mature caring communication skills.

August 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm
(5) noseringmommy says:

here is a thought: my boyfriend is a little, shall we say conservative with money. he will often make comments about the price of things when we go out. when i am feeling particurly insecure about myself, i tend to feel like he is saying that i am not worth the price of a movie, or that the dollar is more important than me. i know that that is not the case, but sometimes it does get to me. is it possible that between the complaining and then not fixing the problem with the girls that she was feeling unloved? maybe for you the problems started after buying the snacks, but maybe there were things bothering her before you even left and for her it just escalated? i don’t think getting up and leaving was very caring and sounds rather pouty, and i don’t see why she would leave it to you to quite the girls, but i would bet there is more to it than you know. so aske her!

December 18, 2008 at 8:57 am
(6) Beckie says:

Here is what i think. You should deffinetly talk to her about why she left and figure it out. No one here should be telling you there is problem with your relationship becuase she or yourslef may have a had a bad day. After 13 years its not all gunna be smiles and giggles. She should get over it and you should try to figure out why she was upset and try to understand. I completly agree with the insecure comment and feeling like your not worth a doller it happens to me as well. Maybe get her something to show she is worth it. Or just plan a nice romantic night for her. And as for the comment about how your brainwashed dont listen its just a man whom isnt happy and is naive. He doesnt agree with marriage and that’s fine but he does not have to inforce that one you to make you feel your relationship isnt worth it. you have been together for 13 years and that is worth something. Besides men have been telling us what a woman is and how we should look for years. You deffinetly do not have to take my advice but i do suggest talking to her isntead of talking to us. I’m only 18 but ive lived a pretty adult life. When i was 15 i lived with a boyfriend 6 years older then me and when i was 17 i was living with roomates i have homeschool and work full time to pay for college next year and I have a boyfriend that ive been with for 2.5 years. So I may not be as old and wise and as experienced and some but i know that no one can judge a relationship there not in.

September 10, 2009 at 4:13 pm
(7) sandrar says:

Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

December 6, 2009 at 10:09 am
(8) Dave says:

I know that this post is old and may never again be viewed by human eyes, but I wanted to point out that the best advice on here is from the 18 years old (Beckie.)
“no one can judge a relationship there not in.” Ain’t that the truth! I am 34, married for ten years and we fight alot, about a ton of different things. I can’t even give myself advice, let alone someone from the outside trying to! Still helps to read posts though!

August 11, 2012 at 8:07 am
(9) really says:

This site is a flipping joke. I went on a date and the dude is a flipping pervert. Sorry Pete if that is your name.

August 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm
(10) JustMe says:

It’s NOT about the movie theater… there is something deep down bugging her that you need to get to the bottom of.

PS- talking about prices (while you are on the “date”) makes it sound like SHE is not worth your mini investment.

PPS- if she carries a purse, BRING the snacks with you instead of buying at the theater.

December 26, 2012 at 4:53 am
(11) Cathy says:

As someone else said, the original post is old. But I, too, wanted to add my comments. I’ll try to be concise.

Going out with ANYONE and making comments about how much things cost makes the other person feel like you are not enjoying yourself and it is a pain to be with them. Now, this is a woman, your woman (not your “girlfriend” – use grown up terms for grown up relationships) and has been for many years. She wants to and needs to feel like it. You are her man. Here is what she needs her man to do: Protect. Provide. Care. Understand women (do some reading if necessary). Apologize. And, last, but definitely not least THINK!

September 2, 2013 at 12:58 pm
(12) Ed Ferrigan says:

It’s ok to express yourself but look at your intentions. What would complaining about prices get you? What were you really wanting by saying it out loud? If your intention going on the date was to have a good time do you feel like you did your part to do all that was possible to make that happen? That includes staying positive or communicating to your girlfriend that you feel bad that the girls are not listening and that you know it is bothering her. In other words try and work it out together. If she see’s and feel you are trying your best then my guess is she would feel empathy for you. If not then either you are not doing your best and she know you are taking the lazy way out, or she is withholding something else maybe from you that you need to talk about so she doesn’t sand bag you later.

Leave a Comment

Line and paragraph breaks are automatic. Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title="">, <b>, <i>, <strike>

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.