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Bonny Albo

He's Dating Others and Failed To Tell Me Dating Question

By September 30, 2013

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Confused City Girl asks, "I have been seeing this guy for about 4 months now whom I met from a Craigslist ad that I had posted stating that I was looking for an awesome boyfriend. This guy replies with an awesome e-mail and was very cute too so I make plans to go out on a date with him. We clicked immediately and have been seeing each other since then. We have been to concerts together, spent many nights together, planned a vacation next month, I have even met his family and they love me.

A while ago I noticed that his Facebook and MySpace claim he is still single. I didn't let it bother me too much but I did feel a bit hurt. Recently I have noticed that his text messages are less frequent and much less romantic than they had been. He has also been claiming to need a lot of alone time because he has only been out a long term relationship a few months longer than knowing me.

Last weekend I was at his apartment like normal and went on his computer which is also normal. I noticed in his browser that there was a new saved link that was for OKCupid and I decided to click on it. Well, it automatically signed me into his account that was full of new pictures and a ton of e-mails back and forth with numerous women. He has corresponded with well over 50 women since meeting me. He also sent out an e-mail saying he was looking for a woman to wine and dine and possibly pleasure while he was away on business. He has recently met women for drinks and has told me nothing of it and also told me many of nights we aren't together that he is just hanging out at home or playing music (he is in a band) and so forth.

I was very upset and devastated, so I called him on the phone and tell him to come home if he can and he does. He tells me that he just wants to make sure that I am the right one for him and that he does not have the same feelings for any of these women like he does for me. He says he had planned on dating a lot of different women before he met me. He says that he probably loves me and definitely adores me and that he is almost ready to just be with me. He does not feel like he did anything wrong because he never specifically told me that he was not dating other people. I will admit that I assumed that he wasn't because he seems so into me.

My question is this: do you think he is just wanting his cake and to eat it too or do you really think he just wants to date around to make sure he is doing the right thing with me? Do you think will stop this seemingly obsessive online dating when/if he does decide to just be with me? I am so very confused and very hurt and just wanting advice. I am very much in love with this guy and had planned a ton of nice things for his upcoming birthday as well as the vacation we are supposed to go on next month."

Desiree, I feel your pain, and so, my answer will be quick and to the point: if he's not exclusively dating you and can't agree to it now, then it's time for you to take a huge step back. Sure, you didn't have the exclusivity talk, but you both can take responsibility for that one. If he's still wanting to play the field - and it's okay if he does, just as it's okay if you want a commitment - stop treating him like your boyfriend. Cancel your vacation together and any other big plans, and then let him know that if or when he's ready to start being exclusive with you, you can talk more. Until then, stay busy, lean heavily on your friends, and let him explore his harem solo.

Related: Fear of Commitment, What is True Love?, Overcoming Fear of Commitment.

Comments
September 28, 2009 at 3:23 am
(1) Vanguy says:

Bang on answer, Bonny.
This girl’s clearly being played while she’s looking for more.
She needs to move on – as difficult as that may seem – until she meets the right guy for her right now, or this guy grows up and wants to make a commitment.

September 15, 2011 at 10:51 am
(2) Mama Kat says:

I disagree Vanguy. If they had an “exclusive” agreement, you would be right. But she “assumed” he wasn’t still looking. Not the same thing. So I would say, if you want to be the only one, say so. If he agrees, than he has to stop looking. If he doesn’t agree, then she has to either settle for what he’s willing to give, or, better yet, keep looking for her match.

September 16, 2011 at 3:45 am
(3) Fed Up says:

Enough already with the abuse. If you are dating a man, having sex with a man you really should not have to ask if you are exclusive. In this day and age with HIV’s that will kill you only an abusive jerk would not be honest and upfront about what he’s doing when you’re not around. Women do not have ESP and magical powers that’s why it’s up to the men in our lives to be honest and up front with us. He does not appreciate you, he’s looking for someone “better” but in case he doesn’t find it he still wants someone to use and abuse. Kick the looser to the curb. No second chance, no hope for a future. He blew it! Do exactly what he is doing, set up a profile on a good dating site, go out with your friends and have fun, he will be nothing but a bad memory soon enough.

September 29, 2009 at 8:06 pm
(4) BitchaSaurus says:

You know what to do. He is a liar and a pig and he is playing you. Where is your self respect? I’d tell him to hit the road.

September 26, 2011 at 5:37 pm
(5) Chris says:

I agree totally!

October 1, 2009 at 12:21 am
(6) Serena says:

Confused City girl,

I can tell, you are an amazing women or else he wouldn’t have kept you around.

As women we feel the need to give all of ourselves to a man. We think we care about this man. But if he was doing this to our best friend we would be telling her “he is a major douche and that she deserves better”. Right?

We give our all to a man. However in the end this ruins the so called relationship. If he really had mutual feelings for you he would never start dating other women online or in person.

It’s like men think they have to have it all. It’s like they are missing out on something when they commit to one person.

A real man will know, you are a gem and that there’s no way in hell any other man will get his hands on you…

A real man doesn’t take you for granted; he always treats you as a lady and takes care of you.

If he is pushing you away to date other women; give him just what he wants. Let him date these low class women.

Let him realize what an idiot he was. Because honey he will it may take a few months maybe even a year.

By then you may have grown just enough to let go and realize you deserved better than his sloppy seconds.

Don’t let him fool you, he’s a dog and should be sleeping in the dog house. If you really love him let him go. Let him do his thing and you do yours love yourself and be free to date someone who is in to you 100%.

You may have to let him chase you longer than you like but it works. Men love the chase and when we give them what they want they are done with us and move on to the next women they hump and dump.

Good luck sweetie, you deserve the best.

September 16, 2011 at 3:52 am
(7) Fed up says:

I am the mother of a 21 year old son. No sweetie, men do not love the chase and then hump and dump us when they get what they want. You are exercising a predjudice when you generalize all men into one category. That’s like saying all women are needy and insecure. How is it you plan on having a close intimate relationship with a man when you harbour such bitterness? All men are not the same. There are also some pretty pathetic women out there who will treat a man like crap and then dump him. Do you think a hooker who spends her days having sex with married men for money is a reflection on the whole female gender? Of course not, just as some jerks do not represent all men.

September 19, 2011 at 11:57 am
(8) Mike says:

Thank you fed up!

I am a 26 year old guy who agrees with you that all men are not the same!

I consider myself a good guy and have tried to communicate with a girl that I really liked about a small misunderstanding or conflict that I had with them and they automatically blacklisted me for being some kind of jerk or asshole that they went out with in the past!

Tip for the ladies! being negative around guys and acting like complete bitches will only make us guys think that thank god im not in a relationship with them,

Who wants to be listening to women whining and complaining and being negative all the time?

I’ve moved on and met a wonderful girl who’s very positive, honest and who I like a lot, I think men move on because they dont want the drama

If they just want sex then forget them

Mike

October 2, 2009 at 4:37 pm
(9) The Confused City girl.... says:

Thank you all for your comments! I have found out even more bad news about this guy since my submission. He has met women from Craigslist for casual sex and from Chemistry.com for dates. I thought I could handle letting him be with other people and still see him because I do love him. But, I know I need to end things because if I don’t respect myself and i let him do whatever he wants then he will not respect me. I am also finding myself to be very passive agressive towards him and myself. I keep beating myself up over this and feeling like a loser who isn’t good enough, it is so hard. I have never dealt with anything like this before. I have been in some bad relationships before but they ended with closure and mutually for the most part. Here I have someone telling me that he is going to be very sad if I leave him and that his feelings for me are very real and genuine. I also have feelings of love towards him so walking away feels very painful. But all the while he is killing me emotionally. I know that while I was away visiting my family and going to my grandma’s funeral he was seeking out sex and dates from multiple people. It is like he cannot be alone ever but that is what he probably needs more than anything. I know that if I leave him that he will probably just keep on dating and having one-night stands and probably even replace me with a steady “girlfriend” type of person too. It breaks my heart because I felt this guy was really, really into me and really did care about me. I have never seen someone be so two-faced in my life. Anyway, thanks for the advice and support. I know what I need to do and I think I have the strength to do it.

September 15, 2011 at 11:14 am
(10) Mama Kat says:

Awww, he will be sad if you leave?
Too bad, so sad.
It’s time to say ByeBye to this piece of trash, you are worth so much more than this.
Some where the right one waits.
Go find him.
And, have fun until you do.

October 10, 2009 at 2:09 am
(11) Serena says:

Good luck honey. Hey most of us have been there. Trust me in a few months to a year. You will tell yourself. “What was i thinking”.

He probably is doing the same thing to most of these other women. So just wait he will get his karma and honey it will be full on.

Good luck.

October 14, 2009 at 3:38 am
(12) Tammy says:

Sorry to hear that you had to go through such a painful experience. Good people are tough to find these days for certain.

October 18, 2009 at 10:08 pm
(13) flattwist says:

Typical man, but if the shoe was on the other foot you would be considered the tramp of the year. I don’t care if neither of you talked about being exclusive, the point is he treated you as if you guys were exclusive. My advice to you is to run as fast as you can because he doesn’t want you, he just wants to use you for his rebound chick if the others don’t work out. You’re convient for him to have sex when he can’t get it from anyone else. Remember, never come off as being clingy or needy because that pushes guys away easily, and in this case that’s what you should want. Stay strong and move on.

September 16, 2011 at 10:53 am
(14) mudneck says:

She needs to move on. He is looking to play, and the fact that she called him to drop what he was doing to come home and discuss it makes her look a bit psycho. Which will probably push him further away.

September 20, 2011 at 9:36 am
(15) julie says:

You should dump him immediately. He is a cheater and a liar and full of s**t. This is not the way you deserve to be treated and he knows it. He is using you because he is to afraid to be alone and meanwhile sleeping with everyone. Forget this person and change your number.

September 22, 2011 at 10:58 am
(16) Melz says:

Dear confused girl..
You will be alright.. it’s better that you found out now then later..And for the furture always stay ahead of the game..Men are nasty, and will lie, cheat, and manipulate..so for me as a women that has been hurt plenty of times…I just think like a dude.. and in my eyes ALL men are the same…And Until I meet that one person that will change the way I feel about men..I will always keep my heart protected.. You will know when the right guy come around..
Keep ya head up baby girl..

September 22, 2011 at 11:20 am
(17) Ava says:

You sound like a lovely person who deserves a lot better than an immature cheater. I disagree with Mudlake, who said, “the fact that she called him to drop what he was doing to come home and discuss it makes her look a bit psycho. Which will probably push him further away.”

Even if you hadn’t had “the talk”, you definitely had the impression that you two were a couple, especially since you had planned a vacation together. You certainly had no clue that he was actively meeting so many other women, and having sex with them. On top of everything else, you now have to get yourself tested for STDs and HIV, and frankly, that is the worst part of this whole business.

Four months is enough time to decide if you want to be exclusive with someone, and a person who is really serious about a relationship would treat you much more respectfully. He would NOT be seeking out other women.

September 24, 2011 at 10:05 pm
(18) suddenly single says:

Thank you so very much for you question! I just signed onto this site to hopefully get advice on near the EXACT same situation! Even 4 months timeline too, Except “my man” tells me he loves me and I havent confirmed that he has had sex with anyone but I know for a fact he went to meet another girl from a dating site….
We’ve talked about our future together, we’ve had great trips together and have two planned in the next three months!
The funny thing is… my situation… he actually went to “meet” a girl, but low and behold, she and I have a mutual friend! She knew before the “meeting” that he was “in a relationship” and we were “unofficially” living together! (and that was his decision, he asked me to move in and talks about us getting married!) So, she stands him up, never shows!!!!
I was traveling at the time so he was “safe” if he went and met her… He texted me before the date and after about 35 minutes of waiting on her…. Then also sent her an email telling her he “showed up and hoped everyting was ok with her” and gave her his phone number to call him because he “really wanted to meet her”.
I flew in that night! He knew my flight schedule and he was a bit distant and had cologne on… I said, “wow, you smell good”.. he said “I knew you were coming home sweetie!”

I’ve NEVER told him I knew about him planning a date with another woman… but I did move my things out and told him my stuff was scattered too many places and I just needed to sort and organize and stay at my house a bit and take a deep breath, that we moved so very fast….

I care about him! We have so much fun together! ANd the s*x is AMAZING! But now I fear for my health and that is interfering with our intimacy! We’ve both pulled back a bit but still care for each other and pretend nothing is wrong…

September 24, 2011 at 10:06 pm
(19) suddenltsingle says:

SOOOOO, the thing that is eating at me is… the girl sent him an email telling him why she didnt show up, that she knew someone that knew me and knows he is in a commited”relationship” with me and we’re living together and told him he was a cheater and liar! He emailed her back!!
HIS return EMAIL is what is eating at me and has me so confused!!!!!!!!!! (of course the girls forwarded it to me!) He never denied being in a relationship or living with me but said he “thought it was a test because he knows who her friend is… He showed up to see who was going to show up… and as far as the relationship goes… he’s been nothing BUT committed!”
I buy it!!!!! He still doesnt know I know or have read the email! I dont know what to do or think!!!!!!
Is he a cheater and liar? or is he just playing that “he knew it was a test” card to see if it blows over… but remember… he doesnt know I know any of this……..
I guess I just need to tell him I know and ask him what “we” are… are we exclusive or free to date? I think I’m ok with being free to date others…. and I dont want to walk away from him or our “fun”…. am I being stupid too? I’m so confused! Did he cheat or not? One of my married male friends told me he probably thought it was me and we were “role” playing and that’s why he did show up… and that’s before he sent the reply email to her!!!!

September 29, 2011 at 6:28 pm
(20) Kat says:

I agree with all of you when you advise to drop him off and move on. Problem is, when a person is in love it is easier said then done. Knowing that the relationship is not excusive, that he is not taking it to the next level, does hurt a lot. It doesn’t make one stop loving a person right away. I would go the slow route, dimishing contact, slowly withdrawing emotionally, until one is not in love with this person anymore.

August 3, 2012 at 4:17 am
(21) Luca Barone says:

Im grateful for the article.Really thank you! Much obliged.

September 30, 2012 at 9:06 pm
(22) sara says:

There isan old advice- when there is doute there is no doute

October 1, 2012 at 5:23 am
(23) May says:

Dear Confused City Gal

i’m sorry to hear about your situation. It sure sounds like your man is under the impression that being in a serious realtionship=losing out. I do agree with Bonny though. Sometimes, it’s better to play hard to get. That way, the guy will know what life’s like without you in the picture and decide if he really wants you in his life. You see, it’s not enough that you see yourself as a “good catch”. He has to see it to, and unless and until he does, he’ll most likely take you for granted. Should he decide he doesn’t want to be with you, consider yourself lucky you haven’t wasted anymore of your precious time on him. Besides, a break-up is the perfect reason to “upgrade” to someone better. Remember, for every man that turns you down, there will always be another man who wants you. And who’s to say the next guy you meet won’t be better than the current one:)
Good luck!

October 2, 2012 at 10:05 pm
(24) Ebony Pittman says:

i have heard my brother talking of his guy friend friends, when a guy is single sometimes he maintain a social circle of dating five women. he says it is to safeguard and chose who among them will be the best., a man that is not committed does merely practice exclusivity…..

October 22, 2012 at 8:11 am
(25) Larissa says:

I have a similar situation. I need HELP!
I am sorry to ask my question here and this help me a lot to hear that I am not alone.

The guy I date said he loves me and we seeing each other in 3 months now we are making plans to move together we have a wonderful time and everything was great. We should move together in december. We discuss about the apartment we want and home decor. We went to see apartment etc..The sex is great and I am the 3 girl is his life which is hard to believe because he 37 and the same age. So for him as his said it mean a lot. And he amazing, honest and romantic guy.

Yesterday he told me that he need to meet 1 more girl before he sure he doing the right thing to move to me and commit to me exclusively. What? everything was so great. I love him so much.
MY HEART IS BROKEN.
I love him so much but I have my BIG EGO, my boundary, my self esteem, my self respect.

The question is: why he NEEDS to date one last girl before commit to me? should I wait he do this?
And he said IF IF IF IF I don’t like her so my heart is all yours and we move together and do everything I will be yours!

I want wait but if he fall in love with her?’I can’t wait can I? I must RUN now before I get hurt do I?

Please HELP ME i haven’t sleep since this.
He said I am so sorry but he wants be honest.
I can’t change the situation now.

I am hurt. I talk ed to him and I said you must do what you think will make you happy I don’t argue with him I was in chock. Now he’s calling me like nothing happen and I can’t answer.
PLEASE HELP ME!!!

October 22, 2012 at 8:23 am
(26) Larissa says:

-I am the 3 girl is his life which is hard to believe because he 37 and the same age.
YES. He got married too young and when he got divorce he got married again and he single since 1 year now. So he sleep before with 2 girls I am the third.
Please ask me question if you want. thank a lot.
Sorry about my english.

October 22, 2012 at 12:35 pm
(27) dating says:

Larissa, it’s time to walk away. For good. Don’t take his calls, answer his emails, or have any contact. He’s told you he can’t commit to you, and it doesn’t matter what the reason is (even if in this situation it’s a pretty callous reason). Watch his actions, not his words. If he’s meeting other women, he’s not ready or able to commit to you. Please get support from your friends and family to help you through this, as well as counseling if you feel you can’t sleep, eat or work because of this situation. I wish you the best of luck, and do keep us posted as to how you’re doing.

October 22, 2012 at 6:29 pm
(28) Larissa says:

I DID IT!
I wrote along letter and made it clear that he CANNOT come back to me IF IF IF he fail with this girl he wants meet. Because I told him I must think about myself respect and my Ego not let me do it. And my what are my boundaries.
I am the number or nothing I said. I am not a reserve. I can’t accept this kind the behavior in a men.
I wrote I will not sit here and wait he decide what he decide. It’s over I am going

I told him I cant be his friend right now either. I can’t offer him anything right now and I will ask my friend to go there and get all my stuff from his house . Because he was trying to tell me what he was doing yesterday i didn’t answer him…
I didn’t ask him to be or choose me I was calm but very determined what I want. I wrote there are many men because is true that want meet me so I am moving on.
I know his in chock too now after read my email..

I am so WOW I am soo relieved to finish and don’t want wait like he wants!
NO WAY!

Well I am in tears…I have call some friends I have talk about it all day =(
but everybody think I did great.
I did okay I think DONT I?

Well let see what happen now… I a move on …it’s hard but I can’t go back now.. I don’t want to see him or talk or answer emails anymore for a long time.

There is any chance he change his mind now?

October 23, 2012 at 7:47 pm
(29) Larissa says:

Hi everyone! thanks that this page exist on the internet. God I am devastated.

He complete ignored my email ! and now he has sent me 2 emails with other subject not the subject I wrote- “I am moving on….”
and he didn’t say anything about it.
WHY?
He wrote he had a hard day at work and he also think about me.
He called me 5 times and I haven’t answer any emails or any call from him.

HELP I almost answer the last call…I can’t do it.

November 12, 2012 at 12:13 am
(30) Bethere says:

Larissa, i really feel for you. If you wanna resist the urge to answer his call, you may want to call somebody else, like your best friends. Or, you can call this new friend, me. :) email me if you wanna make new friend :)

November 28, 2012 at 7:26 pm
(31) Marissa says:

OMG.

Something very similar happened to me. This guy i was seeing for 8 months, he chased me like i was the best thing that ever happened to him. I had just ended a long term relationship before i met him and very often he would say how lucky he was to have me.

So the story is, he is a pathetic, cheating liar and a lowly person, that i wish i had never met him. Ever. He was cheating on my the whole time, i even found a card from a girl he slept with. He was not just sleeping with single people, but married women with children.

SICK. When i finally asked him for commitment, he actually said, he has a lot of aim and ambition and has no time or energy for a serious relationship. Now we all know why he never had time. He was busy exercising his sex acts on every walking thing in a skirt. All this while he was claiming to be a virgin.

I trusted him and liked him a lot. I have never ever met such a two faced person in my entire life.

So girl, do yourself a favor and RUN. RUN from those who are using and abusing you. You deserve a relationship that is based on trust, respect and sincerity.

January 29, 2013 at 3:04 pm
(32) amber313 says:

Good job, Bonny! Maybe you didn’t want to find out if this guy was for real, so you didn’t ask. Obviously he is not that into you, not like you are into him. You need to stick by your standards and not let men use you.
If you quit sleeping with him, you will be able to make a better judgment of this guy’s character. Do you want a committed relationship or just a sexual fling?

January 29, 2013 at 4:36 pm
(33) Bill says:

I stumbled on this string of comments with its attacks on men and judgements on women, etc. Here’s a simple rule to follow that I think will help: Focus on your circle of control, not your circle of concern. Your circel of control is what you do and think. Your circle of concern is everything else, including your boyfriend or girlfriends’ actions. You have zero zero zero control over your boy/girlfriend’s actions. As long as you allow them to operate/cheat/lie in a way you do not care for, they will keep doing it. If you can live with the cheating/lieing etc then decide to accept it. If you can’t live with that then leave and move on. It will be painful as you get over your hurt, but you will be happier in the long run…and have your self-respect in tact. I predict that with your self respect intact you will attract a higher class of men/women as well.

January 29, 2013 at 6:42 pm
(34) Sher says:

Well, you’ve received a lot of life-experience advice, some more direct than others, but lots of hints to the bottom line w/this guy. Bottom line, you & he are NOT on the same page & that alone is reason enough to move forward toward what you want & deserve. I can tell this time, you reeeely wanted it to work out (ugh) … when you talk about loving this guy who has just continually hurt you in various ways, you are seemingly ‘loving’ the IDEA of a lasting, important relationship. If fantasy (oh how i wish!) wasn’t involved here there would be little reason to be loving this person who clearly is not looking for what you are seeking in a relationship — not even close. Since you have enough insight to know when he makes you feel anxious & “passive-aggressive,” you also must face that ‘he’ is not the man you are loving, but the man you WISHED for in him. (Been there/done that.) And now you also know that if not on the same page, don’t waste your time caring, much less pursuing & ultimately lamenting — turn that page & move forward. I have a good feeling about love for you though, so keep learning & don’t give up!

January 29, 2013 at 8:01 pm
(35) MC says:

Confused Girl,
I wish you the best! I’m so glad that you made the decision to move on. I myself was in a similar type of situation (except he lived in my building and I had to watch everything happen daily!). It caused me a lot of heartache but a lot of growth too.
A lot of guys seem to need us to be less available to respect us…it’s kind of a catch-22. But with that said, there should be some good guys out there for you to meet!
Best wishes for your future~

January 30, 2013 at 12:48 am
(36) naaz says:

any situation that does not have a commitment and causes pain needs to be dumped!!

June 21, 2013 at 2:15 pm
(37) beenthere says:

Been there and done that. I just had that happen to me too. I got the hold and cold, some days he’s so into me other days it’s like I didn’t exist. Trust your gut instinct, it’s usually correct. He said BS lies about so many things, and then one day he tells me he’s seeing and talking to several women at once. But oh we can still be friends can’t we? Yeah right, I wasn’t going to sit around waiting for his calls or texts, the fallback girl if nothing else panned out with the other women. I gave him a piece of my mind, let him think what I thought of that and I will not look back. Of course after the anger passes, sadness and hurt sets in because I thought he cared for me.

So all I can say is these aren’t the real men. Don’t generalize to the rest, these kind of men give the rest a bad rep. Don’t become bitter because you know he’s off doing his thing without a care for you so don’t let his actions rule your life and make you miserable. It’s okay to cry and be hurt about it, don’t dismiss that, but you can get over it and move on.

And always be upfront about exclusivity or not. Make sure you are both clear on where each other stands.

The best way to say “Take that!” is to be strong and live your life to the fullest. Be a confident, happy woman and the right man who knows how to treat a woman right will see that.

August 18, 2013 at 11:19 pm
(38) Marie says:

Please get out of this relationship…..the story you tell is exactly what I went through..the story to the very T..this guy was dating several women…after he told me that he wanted us to be exclusive….I was staying at his apartment every other day….but he would gather all my things left in the apartment and hide them….I caught him with another girl….and all my things were hidden in the back bedroom…please… You deserve better

October 8, 2013 at 3:02 pm
(39) Karolina says:

Excellent answer.

March 10, 2014 at 1:49 pm
(40) Lusi says:

Married with 3 kids to a gambling addict, had only time for his habit. Buy food or sometimes borrow money to make ends meet in our home. Got tired of it, after trying to get proffessional help for him he won’t listen. Met a guy, gave me the attention, said he would be married if it weren’t for me stuck where I was. Moved out of my home, got separated to explore this new thing. It turned out I was one of many, promises to good when I tried breaking up, we ve broken up more than ten times. He says he loves me, he needs me but only sees me when he wants to sleep with me. Goes out to expensive places with other women, he will only go out for dinner for us to end up in his bedroom. After leaving hubby he tried to make life difficult for me financially so that I will come back and this guy has left me to fend for myself, struggling with my kids. After promising me the world. I’m scared I’m working on cutting them off my life, its difficult! Will I be able to trust men again? Will I ever find love again?

March 19, 2014 at 6:40 am
(41) Singles Love Vacations says:

The best way to say ďTake that!Ē is to be strong and live your life to the fullest. Be a confident, happy woman and the right man who knows how to treat a woman right will see that.

March 22, 2014 at 1:30 am
(42) Bonafide says:

I was crying after reading all the comments. Why men are like that? Though i was in serious relationship with some good guys too in the past, but i have seen such jerks as well.

I would like to share my current situation and ask for your help. I started chatting with a guy from okcupid 2 months back and then i met him after about 10 days of chatting and two times talking over phone.
I really liked him a lot since beginning. Since beginning he is telling me he likes me and he wants to meet me again and again, two three times a week etc. But he never makes any effort to meet or talk.

He rarely calls me; the only thing he does everyday is that he sends me text in the morning or night just to say hi how it is going. In total we met only 3 times in last 2 months. We had sex too.

He still has his profile on OKC and keeps going on there. He doesnít have time to meet or talk to me but he has enough time to go on OKC. I deleted my profile more than a month back, and then I created a new one last week because I thought he isn’t actually that much interested in me.

Two days back he called and asked me whether I had sex with anyone after we had sex. I said not yet. And he was like what do you mean by not yet. Then he said if he is sexually active with someone then he wants it to be exclusive.

March 22, 2014 at 1:31 am
(43) Bonafide says:

Then I told him that I have created a new profile on OKC and I started talking to people from there and even met one guy. He said why you did that, donít you like me? I said because you are there too so whatís wrong with me being on there. He said he is there just to read others profiles and maximum he would text or talk over phone but no meet up.
He still has more time for OKC than me. Also I donít know what he is so busy with….someone canít be too busy to at least talk over phone if not meet.

Now I donít know, I really like him, I miss him, I think about him all the time. I donít think itís fair that I would be exclusive for him and he would always keep searching online. Shall I move on or stick with him? Please suggest.

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