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Bonny Albo

My Boyfriend's a Bad Kisser. Help?

By October 29, 2013

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Sarah asks, "My boyfriend is a really bad kisser. I don't want him to think I'm avoiding kissing him, but... How do I tell him without offending him, or show him how to kiss without really showing him?"

Bonny's answer: You don't say specifically why your boyfriend is a bad kisser, so I have to assume he's doing something that you don't enjoy. Too much tongue perhaps, or maybe he doesn't understand the tempo or rhythm of a great kiss. Either way the fix is fairly straightforward: make a game out of it. Tell your boyfriend you want to try something new, and ask him to follow what you do - a mime if you would. Ask him to close his eyes, open his mouth slightly, and be flexible with whatever comes his way. Then kiss him the way you like to be kissed, teasing him gently if he starts doing his own thing instead of taking your lead. "Nuh uh! This is my version of Simon Says, and Sarah says close your eyes and relax!"

You could also try different methods of kissing to get some new ideas for the both of you to try. Make a night of it even, attempting to mimic the kisses in your favorite movies, or teach each other how to give a 'screen kiss' just in case one of you decides to become a famous actor and, well, you know. Take kissing quizz, make a list of all the different types of kisses there are, or tell him you read about a new kissing technique you'd like to try out. Point is, have fun with it, and be open to learning something new yourself. And when your partner's bad kissing turns into something divine, make sure to moan or otherwise display your pleasure so he knows without question he's on the right track.

Related:Should I Hold Off On Passionate Kissing Until I'm Ready To Have Sex?, First Kiss Quotes, Kissing Booth Costume, What Does Take Things Slow Mean?.

September 4, 2009 at 5:01 am
(1) JENNY says:

Nice Blog

Do The Match

September 14, 2011 at 8:53 am
(2) Arby says:

Good grief!

If I have anything more to say about kissing, I guess it’s that I see kissing, between lovers, as being useful for one thing only, namely adding to the eroticism. The way girls talk about kissing, it just comes off as being a girl thing that doesn’t even really have anything to do with sex.

I can’t really say anything bad about affection and cuddling. And I guess kissing is in that category. But there’s just something about it; like it’s only necessary for girls. Then again, What do I know? When a hot chick presses me with a kiss, I’ll probably have a new, and very relevant, perspective on it all. ;-)

September 17, 2011 at 10:16 am
(3) Diana Sesarin says:

I think, it will be better to tell him that you do not like the way he kisses you because I think in a relationship communication is really important. After that, you and your boyfriend can try to find the way out.

September 26, 2011 at 8:26 pm
(4) Shayla says:

Yikes! Are you kidding re: speaking to a b/f letting him know I don’t like the way he kisses me? Could that not shoot a guy’s ego down to a rejecting point where he may never return. My opinion….Try the suggestions above as I am sure one of them will work. Communication is of utmost importance but put the shoes on your feet in the early part of a relationship and your b/f tells you the same. How will that effect your level of confidence with anything intimate, waiting to see what again, may not work for him. If you honestly want to be that open in the very beginning, good luck with that.

September 22, 2011 at 9:26 am
(5) Nancy says:

I think kissing is really important. It’s all about the connection.
If you don’t enjoy kissing your boyfriend then chances are you’re not sexually compatible and that’s a very important thing in a relationship. Try the suggestions but if they don’t work out you’re not going to be happy in the long run.

September 28, 2011 at 2:15 pm
(6) Single Catholics says:

I’m going to agree with Nancy. You can’t be bias if your partner doesn’t kiss good. You need to have a connection, the kiss will come later.

September 20, 2012 at 7:40 pm
(7) Cammy says:

I had a boyfriend who would kiss me with saliva dripping in my mouth. Yuck. It got to the point where I found it too revolting to kiss him. Soon after I broke it off. Somehow I couldn’t tell him, because I don’t think he could have done anything to change it.

January 25, 2013 at 9:40 pm
(8) Ew says:

Yeah. I feel your pain. I had my first kiss tonight, and it was…ummm… slobbery. Don’t crush the guy if he is awesome with everything else, and sexual chemistry isn’t the be all and end all of relationships. Just train him and try:-)

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