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Bonny Albo

Being Alone During the Holidays

By December 24, 2013

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A few times in my life, I've had nothing to do during the holiday season. Both of my parents passed away when I was young, and I've always felt self-conscious inviting myself over to a friends' place for a Hanukkah or Christmas dinner. Throughout the years I've done various things to keep me busy, distracting myself from the thought of being alone:

  • Creating a tradition to share with a friend, which at the time was going to see an animated or kids movie in the theater on Christmas Day;
  • Volunteering at a soup kitchen or Meals on Wheels;
  • Watching sappy, romantic holiday movies; and/or
  • Inviting everyone I knew over for dinner.

Some years however, I've found myself grieving a loss and not feeling much like celebrating. Friends and family have kept me cheerful, and the secret gift exchanges I participated in past years warmed my heart. One gesture in particular from a group of my colleagues here at About.com made me feel more grateful, humble and thankful than I have in years, and I can't thank them enough. It reminded me that people do care and want to help those struggling in any way they can.

So for those of you feeling alone this time of year and with whatever celebration you normally recognize, this post is for you. I've written an article about Being Alone During the Holidays in response to this feeling, and I hope it provides assistance and comfort to those who need it. For everyone else, I'd love it if you shared how you cope with being single, alone, or otherwise sad during the holiday season, and what you're doing to increase your levels of joy and abundance.

December 26, 2011 at 12:12 am
(1) jewelrystore says:

I chose to spend the holidays away from family and friends. I enjoyed not hearing bickering and all sorts of other nonsense that does not improve the quality of my life.

Well, Christmas is over, sort of. I guess in a way, it has just begun, considering that it is being celebrated 2 days in a row because it fell on a Tuesday.

Happy Holidays!

December 26, 2011 at 12:16 am
(2) jewelrystore says:

(I meant to type that Christmas fell on Sunday and was celebrated on Monday–

Tuesday doesn’t have anything to do with it! I’m tired, that’s why I wrote that!)

January 8, 2012 at 4:32 pm
(3) sabrina says:

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January 12, 2012 at 6:05 pm
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January 30, 2012 at 12:20 pm
(5) Phyllis says:

Though I’m not single, I was an only child and my husband was off in the navy during the holidays and our parents were far away before we had kids. BUT, even as a kid myself, my parents lived far away from relatives during the holidays. We’re talking the 1940′s and 50′s.

What? Phone home? Didn’t know where or to whom. So I bought a tree and decorated it and put on my favorite music, plus cooked my favorite food. People (grrr!) asked afterward, “How was your holiday?” I could truthfully say, “Delightful and delicious!”

Hey, for whom are all those people getting together? For themselves, not particularly to give pleasure to others. The spats and fits and harsh words are legion. Sometimes, in this busy and self centered world, just being unto one’s self with what pleases is a gift no one can spoil. . .which doesn’t mean someone is a “loner”. It means self regard and a little prayer of thanks for interests that please.

January 30, 2012 at 12:22 pm
(6) Jim A. says:

Both my parents passed away many years ago and I lost my wife after a long illness (and excellent hospice care) in June 2011. My nearest relative – a daughter – lives more than 90 miles away; other relatives live many States away. I was completely alone this past Christmas for the first time in 46 years and while I miss the love of my life, I preferred to not associate with anyone. I will remain alone to prevent loose lips from flapping here in the RV Park where I live. My other regret is that I also miss our little dog who grieved herself to death less than 2 months after my wife passed.

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