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Bonny Albo

Attracting Positive Relationships

By December 25, 2013

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"Energy flows where attention goes."

A Huna saying that has found a new set of followers through the book, "The Secret", this is what was emblazoned on a bookmark I received for Christmas a few years back from a dear friend. Although I've heard the phrase before, for some reason this time I can't get it out of my head.

Like many folks, I have also gotten stuck in the past thinking about the "nts" in my dating life. Some of the ones I've heard recently from readers:

  • I don't feel attractive/skinny/smart enough;
  • Why couldn't s/he have given me a chance/been faithful/trusted me;
  • I'll never find a date/love/satisfaction in a relationship...

You get my jist. We all have our 'nts', and some are a bit more challenging than others. So what if we were to ignore those 'nts', just for a couple of days, and focus instead on what we want to bring into our lives instead?

About.com's Guide to Holistic Healing has written a lovely article about Attracting Positives, using a technique that focuses on surrounding yourself with positive images, whether they be physical, mental or spiritual manifestations. I think I'll create my own little Book of Positives, kind of like the one in Queen Latifah's movie, Last Holiday as my gift to myself these next few days. My pre- New Years' resolution, if you will.

What about you? How do you stay positive when dating, or looking for love? What techniques have worked for you?

More on this topic: Relationship Expectations, or follow me on Facebook and Twitter.

December 26, 2008 at 1:10 pm
(1) Lillie says:

I totally believe in the power of intention. And what a perfect time of the year to be reminded of it! I think that focusing on what we DO have and what we’re most grateful for – regardless of our partnering status – creates the right energy for all kinds of wonderful things to happen!

December 28, 2008 at 10:40 pm
(2) Bitter Single Guy says:

Research consistently shows that behavior is more influenced by positive reinforcement than by negative reinforcement or punishment. This is the ‘getting more flies with honey’ approach to behavior modification. Plus, who wants to be around someone negative?

December 30, 2008 at 3:31 am
(3) Night Chat says:

Great Article. You guys rock for chat and dating advice. Keep it coming.

December 30, 2008 at 8:02 am
(4) Avis Bailee says:

I am so grateful to have found your blog and this entry. Thanks so much again for your time.

December 30, 2008 at 11:56 am
(5) wizedup says:

I had heard that before – to ask for what you want in a person, in life and the universe will bring that person, that situation to you. And I thought what the heck – why not? So I did. I said aloud all the traits I wanted in a man (not what I didn’t want) – only the positives. Two months later I met him – but didn’t put 2 and 2 together until now – 6 mos together – I realize I met the man I ‘wished’ for. Amazing but true story.

December 27, 2012 at 12:35 pm
(6) jane tonye-ogolo says:

Please tell me what to do to make my man not to look at,find interest in,like&love another woman in his life.please heip me because I want him to fall,love,cherish,nourish&take care of only me in his life,to be the only woman in his life.reply to me fast because we are not in good terms now.thank you

December 28, 2012 at 5:52 am
(7) Tony says:

LOOKING FOR LOVE? The best (and first) place to find it is in yourself. Everything else will then inevitably fall into place.

January 5, 2013 at 9:02 pm
(8) Kevin says:

Energy may flow where attention goes, but there is also this thing called the Power of Association. Associating with intelligent, successful people can only benefit you while associating with losers only pulls a person down to the loser’s level. That said, I cannot understand women who are involved in relationships with men who are uneducated, unemployable, have poor personal habits, and no promising futures. The best one is when women have children by these guys. I can only ask, “Just what were you thinking?”

April 9, 2013 at 9:56 am
(9) Ashley says says:

hey! Kevin this is Ashley i agree a 100% on what you are saying because im not the type of woman that judges anybody because my life is not 100% perfect but i do like guys who are honest, respects me and is not scared of the word comminment . Just this year i had told this guy that i go to shcool with how i felt about him and that i want to one day marry him and have a baby with him but in march of this year he calls me carzy for telling him that but now we have no type of conversation at all because of that he makes me reget EVER telling him how i felt about him and he is the type of guy that follows in the part of the loser level because i say to myself that its his miss out because how many women out there that would try to give there man the world if he does the same back to her NOT many women out there can or will say that they will say that not only would i do that i would support him in anything he was or trying to do and yet i get called carzy because of what i wanted they this guy that i thought was the 1 for me but was i so WRONG for think that maybe but ive learned for it and i have also became more mature about it YES! indeed i have so not only did he think he hurt me by calling me carzy by doing that he made me alot STRONGER because im living my life and i will eventually find the man of my dreams and that wants to marry me and wants me to be the mother of his kids because i am so worth the wait of MR.RIGHT findig me and living HAPPILY EVER AFTER YEA! and i mean that from the bottom of my heart i dont want no little boy who thinks he is a man because he is in the stage of being adult i want man that knows what he wants in life and doesnt have to guess what he wants because he should ALREADY KNOW im not tryin to be FUNNYbut SERIOUS to have my point be spread in other words keep it real as possible

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