chrissy723 asks: I've been dating my boyfriend for 7 months now but lately things have changed. A week ago or so my car broke down, so I asked him to pick me up from work. He asked me to find someone else because if he picked me up he'd be tired. Then, yesterday my boyfriend accused me of being snoopy because I was checking out his brand new PDA - something totally out of character for him to buy, considering what a miser he is. All I wanted to do was look at the features, but he took it the wrong way. What really upset me though was when my boyfriend asked me to take my things with me whenever I leave his place, because he feels like I'm trying to move in. Is he sending me a message that I'm not seeing, or does he merely want some time and space?
My quick take on chrissy723's question? It sounds like there is a lack of respect in your relationship - on both sides of the equation. If this man thinks you are in a committed relationship and not merely dating, then sure, you should be able to leave a few things at his house without too much worry... but having a suitcase of stuff there might turn off some more sensitive folks, which may include your gent. And what about his being too tired? Well, it happens. Yes it would have been nice if he picked you up, but he's clearly telling you he wasn't able or willing. Pushing it here isn't the best of ideas either, because what you're saying is you're dependent on the guy, and few folks find that attractive.
Which then leads me to your 'snooping' on his PDA - to which I agree with him. Ask first if you want to look at his PDA. Don't just pick it up and start perusing. Now he may have something to hide, and I'm sure some readers of this blog will chime and say he's cheating on you because he wasn't comfy with you looking at his contact list. Me? I believe that asking before looking at something so personal is what really matters here.
So. Does your man want time, space, or a break from your relationship? You don't say how serious things have been during the seven months you've been dating, which makes providing a conclusive answer a tad challenging. But if he is your boyfriend (read: committed to one another in a long-term partnership where you've agreed to only be romantically involved with one another, unless you're polyamorous, which is a whole other topic entirely), then it may be time to talk about what's going on. He may be feeling pressured by you to move things farther than he's ready, and his reactions are his only means of telling you. Or, he's not as committed to the relationship as you are, may be having second thoughts, and could even be doing the elastic band maneuver I like to call the 'pull-back', where many men remove themselves slightly from a relationship to see what their partner does. A test if you will, both to assure them of their continued independence as well a means with which to determine if moving forward with the relationship is merited.
That's my take. What do you think?