This is part two of a free dating eCourse, although this article does stand alone on its own. For more information about the dating boot camp, start here.
Getting Over Past Hurts
For those of you still actively mourning the loss of a relationship - or even those who still feel pangs at the mention of a former partner - this is an exercise I highly recommend. I got the idea initially from a naturopath that I worked with many years ago. As I struggled with and worked through the loss of a family member, the naturopath suggested I imagine myself with "roots" that extended deeply into the earth. Like a strong tree, I could sway with the "winds of life" but wouldn't break, thus allowing myself to feel both secure yet able to work with whatever came my way.
The article shared here, Getting Over Past Hurts, stems from that experience many years ago, with some additional and more relevant input from hypnotist Paul McKenna. I wrote the article initially to help a reader who struggled to disconnect from her past relationship, but feel it is equally, if not even more important, for folks like yourself to attempt. Unless you're 100% sure you've done the necessary work to disengage from all of your former relationships, I strongly recommend it. Folks who still have to interact with their ex's perhaps because of child rearing commitments or work will benefit even more from this exercise. You may still have to deal with your ex occasionally, but this will help you to separate the emotion from need.
If you've already worked through this past baggage and feel free and clear of any and all former romantic relationships, congratulations! You're well ahead of most people. I'd love it if you shared in the form below how you worked through the process, how long it took, and what kind of resources you used.
A few things to consider, write about in your journal (or below if you're choosing to journal online), and work on today:
- Every day from now on in, I want you to smile at three people of the gender(s) you're attracted to and say, "Hi!" They could be people you already know or complete strangers, it's completely up to you. The only rules here are that it isn't someone you've been involved with at any point of your life, and that you smile genuinely. None of those fake, half smiles folks. We want the real deal. (For more on what I mean, take a look at How To Attract Someone).
- Make a quick list off the top of your head of something you can do this week that will put you in contact with a lot of other people. That could mean attending a workshop, seeing a band at a local pub or bar, attending a poetry reading, going on a group hike, volunteering, or even throwing a party for your friends. You don't have to commit to doing any of these things, yet, but I want you to start brainstorming now. Add ideas to the list as you come up with them, if you think of something else later on down the road.
- Journal about what you read today. How did you feel after reading it? Doing the exercise? Anything else that's on your mind today about your dating life, feel free to write about that too.