If humor ails all dating disasters, Still Hot: The Uncensored Guide to Divorce, Dating, Sex, Spite and Happily Ever After is the cure-all for many a brokenhearted divorcee. What follows is an interview with the authors of this humorous book about dating and relationships, and how they thrive in the world of happily ever after.
Q: Still Hot is a humorous book of coping strategies for women struggling with feeling like themselves again after a difficult divorce. How did humor help you to realize that you were "Still Hot" after your divorces?
A: After your husband leaves you for the Barbie-esque personal trainer he got personal with at the gym, you feel like a loser and a reject. But when you can step back and laugh at his cliched attempts to be young and hip -- zooming off in his red Miata with his bald spot gleaming in the sunlight -- you begin to realize that it's NOT about you. That helps you to hold your head up a little higher and stand a little straighter. And of course, it doesn't hurt to go shopping for a black lace thong and matching bra.
Q: In regards to your dating experiences after divorce, the book gives the impression that oftentimes reality is much stranger than fiction. I'm curious - how many (if any) of the scathing remarks were based on your newly-single dating experiences? Were there any dating stories that didn't make it into Still Hot?
A: All of the stories in STILL HOT are actual experiences that either we or the women we interviewed lived through and survived. We couldn't have made this stuff up if we tried. We're really not that creative! There are many dating stories that didn't make it into the book, particularly the more disgusting ones. For instance, Sue went on a first (and only) date with a guy who described how his athlete's-foot fungal infection spread throughout his body, causing an itchy rash in his groin and rectal area. He then asked if he could hold her hand while they talked. Needless to say, she declined -- and reached for her Purell.
A: Are either of you dating or in a relationship now? If so, what do your significant other(s) think about Still Hot?
A: Linda's life partner thinks the book is hilarious. He even contributed a few amusing anecdotes of his own. We've been surprised to see that many men -- married or single, and regardless of age -- think the book is dead-on accurate and laugh-out-loud funny.
Q: What were you hoping to get out of writing Still Hot? What kind of reader reaction have you received?
A: We wrote the book we wished we could have read when we were suffering through divorce, dating, and everything in between. And we felt we had some important messages for women who are going through the experience:
- Your husband's decision to leave you for his 22-year-old yoga instructor is not your fault;
- Even though you can't imagine it right now, you WILL be happy again someday;
- Laughter is the best medicine; and
- When the guy you're dating is totally bald but there's a hairdryer and conditioner in his bathroom, he's probably a player!
A: You mention in the chapter entitled, "Manhunt" that, "dating at midlife is nothing like when you were in your twenties". When/why did you come to this realization? Is there any advice you'd give to other divorcees who are now dipping a toe into the dating waters?
A: When you start dating again at midlife, it's as if you've been cryogenically frozen for the past 20 years. You're clueless, and you're meeting men who know the game a lot better than you do. We came to this wisdom after handing our hearts to Mr. Wrong. We caution new divorcees against seeking out the guys who seem perfect at first glance. Oftentimes "instant chemistry" has more to do with his being a smooth operator than with his character. The humble soccer dad is more likely to be a stand-up kind of guy. Most important, take it all slowly. And remember: once you sleep with a man, your judgment will fly out the window. He could be Hannibal Lecter, and you'd dreamily tell your friends, "He's a keeper."
