Q: I've been divorced 6 months now. I decided to try online dating. Within a week, I had my first date, with a man a couple of years younger than me. We met at a coffee shop, and talked for about 1 1/2 hours. I thought the meeting was great; this guy is smart, handsome, great sense of humor; and seemed to be fairly successful. He sent me an e-mail at the end of the day, thanking me for meeting him. He said that he had a wonderful time but that he wasn't sure if he was my "type". However, he would love to go out again this week, just to see if he's wrong, and he is my "type." What does this mean?
A: What he is trying to say is this: he's unsure if you are interested in him. He needs to know that you want to get to know him better. Which may not be a good sign that he needs reassurance, but it could also very well mean he's genuinely unsure of what to do next.
Perhaps something on your online dating profile gave him some mixed signals? Maybe in there somewhere you said you wanted a guy that has to love basket weaving. It could be anything really, but there is no way of knowing unless he tells you.
Why is he choosing this tactic? My guess would be that he's a bit shy. Most men won't bother emailing you to tell you they had a nice time and would like to do it again if they aren't interested. What he's doing is asking you in a non-threatening way (for him) whether or not you see any potential between the two of you.
Since I'm of the firm belief that everyone should have two dates with a potential suitor before writing them off (unless of course there are serious issues that cannot be overlooked), I would suggest you go out with him again. Enjoy yourself, keep things light and fun, and if you are interested in the gent - flirt a bit with him. Make lots of eye contact. Smile a lot. And if you can manage it, touch his arm or back gently when speaking with him. Not in a sexual way, but to connect with him and let him know you want to "reach out" and get to know him. By doing this you'll let him know you are interested, without giving any mixed signals as to whether or not he's your "type".
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