Have you made your New Years resolutions yet, or are you still searching for one or two that resonate? Whether you are a single person looking for love or a person who loves being single, here are some New Years resolutions to explore and possibly adopt as your own.
1. New Years Resolution: Smile and Say "Hi" More Often
"I can smile, chat, and amuse any guy I'm not interested in -- or any guy who approaches me. But, let me see a guy on the train, walking by, or across the room who causes that punch-to-my-stomach gasp, and I will go out of my way to avoid eye contact, not smile, and otherwise ignore him. I think it's a fear of rejection thing. Well, this resolution will increase my tolerance for rejection, while making me more approachable." - Rachelle Chase, erotic romance author and speaker, 44, San Francisco, CA, single and looking.
"My New Year's resolution is to change my daily routine (i.e. different Starbucks, different location of gym, different time of day at gym, new classes (spin, bootcamp, etc). so that I meet new people and encounter new people. By changing my daily routine, I am more likely to meet new people and possibly meet new people to date doing the things I love to do." - Frank Mastronuzzi, owner of OneGoodLove, 38, West Hollywood, CA, single.
3. New Years Resolution: Give Your Dates a Chance
Dr. Thea Lobell, Ph.D., a psychotherapist out of Baton Rouge, LA, believes that an important New Years resolution to make is that of giving people second chances. She clarifies: "Date someone two times before making a decision about the person. It's not uncommon for people to be extremely nervous on a first date. Due to nerves, people are rarely able to highlight their strengths on a first encounter. Unless the person is blatantly offensive, give them the benefit of the doubt and go on a second date."
4. New Years Resolution: Lose the Negativity
Says Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret, "Vow to give up the pity party and negative thinking about love, romance and dating. If you believe that there is enough air to breathe and water to drink, then I encourage you to believe there is more than enough love for you. Become a magnet for love this year. Start giving more of what you want to receive. More attention, more affection, more love and watch what happens!"
5. New Years Resolution: Get Specific
Dr. Colleen Long, Psy.D., also known as the Happiness Diva, suggests: "'You have to know where you are going, if you are actually going to get there.' This is a saying we have in the south which still holds true in the world of dating and relationships. Many times, people make the mistake of just taking whatever life throws their way. However, if we are to truly get what we want and desire, we must first articulate those things to ourselves. Start by sitting down and making a list of the things you desire in a partner. They may start out very general such as, 'must be attractive,' but soon they will start to develop into more specific to you items, like 'must make me laugh until I cry.'"
6. New Years Resolution: Cultivate A Relationship With Yourself
"I notice that many women including myself have set aside their career and personal goals for their significant others. I was one of them. I have set myself back in terms of my success for many years applying all of my energy into relationships. My New Year's resolution: Love myself and take care of myself first prior to loving anyone else. If I am not happy with myself, I'll find myself in unhealthy and potentially destructive relationships. Like Carrie said in Sex in the City, 'The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.'" - Jeanine Swatton, author of Women Crossing Bridges, 35, Dublin, CA.
7. New Years Resolution: Set Relationship Boundaries
"Promise to set boundaries with people who drain your time and energy – family, friends, people you may feel sorry for. Relationships need to be give and take. When they aren’t, they drain you and take away time you need for your own happiness and your true friends." - Carolyn Bushong, L.P.C., author of Bring Back the Man You Fell in Love With.
8. New Years Resolution: Create Your Own Dating Rules
"As a single, 20-something in New York, I resolve to do what feels most true to my nature on all of my dates. For me, this often means forgetting about the rules that society dictates about how men and women should interact in the early stages of relationships. It means trusting my gut about when to become involved sexually, when it's okay to call, or when to tell a guy how strong (or weak) my feelings are. Ultimately, I resolve to do what I want!" - Rachel Russo, Marriage and Family Therapist Trainee and Professional Matchmaker.
9. New Years Resolution: Make a Plan
Megan L. Reese, a divorced and looking 39-year-old woman in West Grove, PA, suggests an innovative idea. "After five years of dating, relationships and bad experiences, I've decided to take a very proactive approach to dating this year. I am writing a business plan. As a business woman, every year I write a business plan that outlines my goals, strategies, time lines, etc. I thought, 'Why aren't I being this intentional in my personal life?' My 'Man Plan' includes a vision and mission statement, goals, marketing, budget, strategic partnerships and metrics for measuring my efforts."
An unusual twist on the New Year's resolution is to use energy cues to get you where you want to be, says Chriss Barr, a Feng Shui expert and owner of Palm Beach Feng Shui. She expands: "The best thing you can do is to sit facing your relationship direction when you’re out to dinner or meeting someone new on a first date. In Feng Shui your relationship direction is based on your birthday and is unique to you. When you use your personal relationship direction you make a better connection with your partner and they’re more receptive to you. Another great idea is to wear colors associated with your personal relationship direction."