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Readers Respond: Who Should Pay For a Date?

Responses: 59


Men Paying = Status and Wealth

I think the man should always pay on the first date no matter who did the inviting because when a man pays it subconsciously shows to the woman that he is able to provide for her (and her children). Woman look for qualities in a man that show he can provide for her and a family. Paying shows a level of status and wealth that women find attractive in a father/husband figure. I am not an anti-feminist; It's all rooted in human evolutionary past.
—Guest Alina

Who Should Pay for a Date?

The first date would depend on who asked who. If I ask a guy out (which I haven't done in 20 years), I would expect to pay. I'm a modern woman, so I think on subsequent dates, the man and woman should take turns paying. If the man makes a lot more money, however, and insists on paying, then I would receiprocate by cooking meals for him or washing his car or maybe hemming pants or sewing on a button. Not to turn myself into an unpaid maid or anything but just to show my appreciation.


I think that at the beginning the woo'er should pay or at least the person who did the asking should pay, but then after two or three dates both should pay. It's just fair.
—Guest paul

Men should be men... and pay.

I think the man should pay for the date, it keeps is simple... Heck I even read from a professional matchmaker that men should pay, so who am I to argue with that?
—Guest Dean

If man can't pay wht is he good for then

I don't know what world you live in, but in my world men always pay, 1st date, 2nd, 10th, whatever. I am a lady and why would I date not a gentleman? And gentlemen always pay. Single ladies have to have a job, spend lots of money on cloth/shoes/make up/hair products+hair salons/fitness centers/tanning salons/fashion magazines etc. jut to look beautiful. For who? For MALES! Also, every male expects to have free good time, free sex and free psychological session. And what do we get in return??? You don't make us favors by paying, no. Maybe we'd much rather sit at home by tv wearing night gown, instead of spending time on getting ready and rushing somewhere... And what do we get in return? Option to split a bill? It's funny! We should be getting presents just because we turned up. Married females in 21st century have a job, raise kids, look after the house, cook, and have sex with husbands even if they don't want to! So-if males can't even pay for dates, then what are they good for?
—Guest Midea


Some of the posts on here that claim that you have to pay $50 for a movie, or a day’s wages for a date are ridiculous. If your budget is limited, you can find fun, inexpensive or free things to do, such as taking a walk on the beach or a hike in the forest, going to a museum, having a picnic in the park, taking a stroll through a farmer's market, or going to see a free concert. Let’s not exaggerate and act like we are forced to break the bank just to go on a date. A first date should really be about getting to know each other, anyway, less than doing a particular activity. I agree with those who have said that there are other ways of giving in a relationship. If one person is markedly less wealthy than the other, s/he can cook meals at home, give massages, what have you, while the wealthier one can pay for nights out. Another factor is who most wants to do the activities in question. I am pretty much a homebody, and I have dated men before who always want to go out.
—Guest Cynthia

its 21th century folks

i love the response of a lady above who said that she expects the guy on a date to pay but when she is with men friends she pays for half. Ladies, its time to pay for half -period. I am in a relationship and have no problem dating but from my recent experience looks like women want a free meal. Here is the scenario - go on a date w/Bob on Monday and have a nice free dinner,go on a date w/Rick on Thursday and have a nice dinner for free, and go on a date with Bob on Saturday and have a free dinner. One women asked me on a data and told me that she will pay for it but when time came to pay she told me that she had no money. One didnt have money for a tip but drove a $70,000 BMW. One would go to the bathroom every time the bill was brought (2 X). Current girlfriend pays for about 30% of the meals and I have no problem with that.
—Guest Z man

Who should pay for a date ?

I believe a gentlemen should always pay for the 1st date, if (She) is your soul-mate (We) both pay With no doubt. All things work together for those who love... If not who are we, (Food for thought).
—Guest -RCJ806

Thanks to the men who pay

The men I date who graciously pay on the first dates are the ones I am likely to see again, when we split the tab on subsequent dates.
—Guest Judy

its not complicated!

To respond to its complicated, are you serious a man has to pick up the tab all of the time for you to consider that person in a serious relationship? Thank goodness I don't date you. I split about 50/50 with my girlfriend, we don't track dollar for dollar but we alternate every other time. Would you pay for his birthday? Or does he have to buy himself a gift? Kind of self centered as to think your boyfriend must pay 100% of the time.
—Guest joey

i think a man should pay coz his

it depends on who asks who out. But to show that authority over a woman a man should pay.
—Guest b

who should pay?

i think that whoever does the invitin' should do the payin' ?
—Guest just passin' thru

Few Dates and On (im a guy)

For the first few dates I feel most comfortable paying. This includes basically the first and second date and sometimes the third. But after that if the woman I am dating were to politely ask to split the payment it eases tension greatly and makes the date much more pleasurable. --- 2 cents ---
—Guest TC

Girls should pay

Nah, not really.. the responsability of paying the bill shouldnt be placed in the person with the penis or lack of it. I would normally pay for the first date(s) and I will reject her offer to pay for it on the first date (this will get her extra points thou!). But if she doesnt make any efforts in getting the bill in the following dates, thats it, she is out!
—Guest John

Mostly the guy should

In everything between individuals and people, there is the head. If the lady pay sometimes it indicate support and caring. guys must pay regularly to show authority and respect. I did not indicate that the man have total control earlier. The lady have a part 2 play. And a portion 2 pay. In this century, We blind the two. Old school and new school. How? Lets face it, if she is pushed behind to do all chores (room & kitchen staff) man you aren't caring nor loving. Our ladies if you don't assist in the dollar/cedi/pounds /. . . and all, you aren't dependable.
—Guest Kwaku Asare

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Who Should Pay For a Date?

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