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Readers Respond: Who Should Pay For a Date?

Responses: 54



Some of the posts on here that claim that you have to pay $50 for a movie, or a day’s wages for a date are ridiculous. If your budget is limited, you can find fun, inexpensive or free things to do, such as taking a walk on the beach or a hike in the forest, going to a museum, having a picnic in the park, taking a stroll through a farmer's market, or going to see a free concert. Let’s not exaggerate and act like we are forced to break the bank just to go on a date. A first date should really be about getting to know each other, anyway, less than doing a particular activity. I agree with those who have said that there are other ways of giving in a relationship. If one person is markedly less wealthy than the other, s/he can cook meals at home, give massages, what have you, while the wealthier one can pay for nights out. Another factor is who most wants to do the activities in question. I am pretty much a homebody, and I have dated men before who always want to go out.
—Guest Cynthia

its 21th century folks

i love the response of a lady above who said that she expects the guy on a date to pay but when she is with men friends she pays for half. Ladies, its time to pay for half -period. I am in a relationship and have no problem dating but from my recent experience looks like women want a free meal. Here is the scenario - go on a date w/Bob on Monday and have a nice free dinner,go on a date w/Rick on Thursday and have a nice dinner for free, and go on a date with Bob on Saturday and have a free dinner. One women asked me on a data and told me that she will pay for it but when time came to pay she told me that she had no money. One didnt have money for a tip but drove a $70,000 BMW. One would go to the bathroom every time the bill was brought (2 X). Current girlfriend pays for about 30% of the meals and I have no problem with that.
—Guest Z man

Who should pay for a date ?

I believe a gentlemen should always pay for the 1st date, if (She) is your soul-mate (We) both pay With no doubt. All things work together for those who love... If not who are we, (Food for thought).
—Guest -RCJ806

Thanks to the men who pay

The men I date who graciously pay on the first dates are the ones I am likely to see again, when we split the tab on subsequent dates.
—Guest Judy

its not complicated!

To respond to its complicated, are you serious a man has to pick up the tab all of the time for you to consider that person in a serious relationship? Thank goodness I don't date you. I split about 50/50 with my girlfriend, we don't track dollar for dollar but we alternate every other time. Would you pay for his birthday? Or does he have to buy himself a gift? Kind of self centered as to think your boyfriend must pay 100% of the time.
—Guest joey

i think a man should pay coz his

it depends on who asks who out. But to show that authority over a woman a man should pay.
—Guest b

who should pay?

i think that whoever does the invitin' should do the payin' ?
—Guest just passin' thru

Few Dates and On (im a guy)

For the first few dates I feel most comfortable paying. This includes basically the first and second date and sometimes the third. But after that if the woman I am dating were to politely ask to split the payment it eases tension greatly and makes the date much more pleasurable. --- 2 cents ---
—Guest TC

Girls should pay

Nah, not really.. the responsability of paying the bill shouldnt be placed in the person with the penis or lack of it. I would normally pay for the first date(s) and I will reject her offer to pay for it on the first date (this will get her extra points thou!). But if she doesnt make any efforts in getting the bill in the following dates, thats it, she is out!
—Guest John

Mostly the guy should

In everything between individuals and people, there is the head. If the lady pay sometimes it indicate support and caring. guys must pay regularly to show authority and respect. I did not indicate that the man have total control earlier. The lady have a part 2 play. And a portion 2 pay. In this century, We blind the two. Old school and new school. How? Lets face it, if she is pushed behind to do all chores (room & kitchen staff) man you aren't caring nor loving. Our ladies if you don't assist in the dollar/cedi/pounds /. . . and all, you aren't dependable.
—Guest Kwaku Asare


I nearly always pay for my dates(not that i had many due to relationship). But i always paid. I dont think it should be something girls should expect. Cuz tbh u can pay for yourself. If u cant let the guy know when he asks u out. Yes picking up the tab is nice. But it shouldn't be taken bad if he cant. Thats just beeing shallow(prolly a better word to describe it but). If u cant pay for yourself tell prior to the date... I'll mostly pay for both. But thats just cuz i see it as me asking her out on a date and therfor should pay( a bit old fashin i know)
—Guest Average joe

Who Should Pay For A Date?

ALWAYS dutch. Sorry ladies - if you want to use the "I don't make as Much as a man" excuse, you either have a lack of ambition or don't know how to effectively negotiate your salary. Times are bad - everyone has to pay their own way , or just stay in and let nature take its course.

The man should pay

It is my feeling that on a first date, the man should pay. Many posts here talk about how women are independent and make their own money. The reality of the our current economic situation is that if I can even be hired for the same job as a man, I will be paid 20% less for doing it. That is a statistical fact, as well as an anecdotal one. When a man asks me on a first date, I do expect him to pay. If we have more than one date, I may politely offer to "help out", or offer to leave the tip. No man I have ever dated has taken me up on an offer. I will also offer to drive, or to bring the wine for a BYOB and that sort of thing, if it is a second or third date. Once I am in a committed relationship, I expect to make some meals and to chip in more often. I have never felt in any way obligated to exchange sexual favors for a meal. When I have meals with male friends or colleagues, we usually split the cost, but even in these sorts of situations, men frequently pay the whole bill.
—Guest Zoe


Personally, I believe that the "man" of the relationship should pay for the first date, and if the two people decide to go on more than it should be shared - each pays half. That's being polite and fair.
—Guest Atari

a man should pay first dates

I think a man should pay for first date but it would be nice if a woman offers to pay half. I generaly pay in full for the first date even if they offer, but once in a while I like a woman to offer to pay the full amount, but if they don't, then that turn me off.
—Guest victor
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