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Readers Respond: Readers Share the Positives and Negatives of Casual Dating

Responses: 17


From the article: What Is Casual Dating?
What does casual dating mean today, and how do you define it? Share your thoughts about casual dating, as well as your definitions, stories, and whether or not you think casual dating is a good thing or not-so-great. Share Your Story

Casual Dating Meaning

Casual Dating is when two people spend time together, doing some activity together (drinks, dinner, movies) which may or may not ultimately lead to sex. Another important thing to note is the Non-Commitment part which is clear in the minds of both persons at the start. Now maybe they might start liking each other and end up in a full time relationship. But that is a different story. Cheers Casual Dating
—Guest Casual Dating

Casual Dating

Casual Dating is great for people that are not ready to "fully" commit to a serious relationship. Not involving sex in that casual relationship is even better (even though some may not respectfully agree with me on that issue). From my experience with casual dating, it works better when both people are on the same page about what their casual dating will entails. And, if they "both" see enough chemistry between them to talk about possibly trying out a more serious relationship, then good for them. But, if only one person in that casual dating relationship wants something more serious for their relationship, then deciding to only stay "friends" with that person is usually a train wreck just waiting to happen (emotionally and sometimes obsessively for that other person). When you see the "red flags", end that casual dating relationship as soon as possible with no "mixed signals".
—Guest Lone Wolf


Casual relationships are the best! I've just commenced one a month ago after the end of a 12 year relationship. Its all the good parts of a relationship with out the crape!
—Guest KELL

Parsing casual dating and commitment

I learned that no matter how much you stress "I'm not looking for a commitment", if the person you're "seeing" initiates going out well then you're going to hurt him/her by reciprocating their feelings for you. Yes, hanging out, sleeping over, kissing, having great conversations, are ways in which you are reciprocating feelings. If you continue to do these things, your 'relationship' is going to reach a point where it comes to question whether you two will become monogamous or not. If you say 'no' and still act the same way around him/her, s/he will continue to try to impress until you say 'yes'. However, once he/she sees that you have a different person that you're 'kickin it with', you will, I promise, cause pain. Your egos (or at least this poor person you're leading on) are attached. Rip it off and you will cause pain. Please figure out if you want to commit to this person before you engage in sex. Physical attraction mostly flees after the honeymoon stage anyways.
—Guest AR

What to do...

I have been seeing a woman casually for almost 6 mos and we have not had sex yet. I would really like to but she has had some less than desirable experiences in marriage and dating (too long to go into) with sex. I tell her that she isn't 'broke' and believe I can show her that. We have so much in common and really enjoy our time together, which has included sleepovers and weekend get away's. I have respected her wanting to move very slowly but tiring of masturbating every time we part or I think of her. I really dig this woman so I'm looking for opinions as to how long I should wait before pushing, and if this is normal time for 56 yr olds? Please help?

Dunno what to do

Met a nice guy, started dating, wasn;t looking for anything serious. He calls at least once a day, texts me int he morning, calls my home phone when he doesn't get me on my cell and vice versa. He's into me way more than I am into him and I don't know how to break it off. It feels so stalkerish!! He evn has a tingtone jsut for me and my picture whren I call him on his cell (which almost hardly ever happens). I never said I wanted something serious and yet he thinks it is. Help!!!!
—Guest Leeza

It's selfish...

I really wanted to officially date this girl who at first, wanted a relationship and realized later on that she just wanted casual. I tried to ride with it as her and I were not really seeing anyone else and we were official before we became casual, but I already got attached and she hasn't.... I'm a man who's been hurt with this casual dating thing. We broke up or just stopped seeing each other for good, I guess.... exactly 9 days ago...
—Guest JayL

Gone wrong.

My boss and I are have been fooling around at work after hours, no sex has happened. But yesterday he got mad at me for canceling our plans to finally have sex because I wasnt feeling good, he just assumed I wanted to go party like a normal 18yr old on a sat night. We argued and now it feels like I had "our first fight" which is not what I was expecting from our fooling around. This only lasted a month, but once you you act like my boyfriend and we are not a couple that's a no no for me.
—Guest Bri93


i have been seeing a guy for casual dating with benefits,we went out twice all was going well until 4 weeks ago,he stopped calling me,wouldn't answer my text or emails,just stopped talking to me without a reason,don't know what went wrong.
—Guest cetty

casual dating

it starts from claiming that you dont share any feelings, of which u do, which are the reason why you hook up. this usually ends in pain on one of the partners especially the ladies!
—Guest guest DN

Same Here

I'm in middle school and a guy I sort of like just asked me to hangout over the weekend so I would qualify casual dating as hanging out but not as actually going out anywhere special.
—Guest Justabit

Casual relationship or hes just a douche

So I recently started dating this guy and we agreed that both of our live are totally crazy and we aren't looking for anything really serious. He suggested being more than friends and 'casual dating' and somewhat of an open relationship. He also said that when the time comes to be serious I will be 'the one' is he just really immature and doesn't want to hurt me (yes I'm a pessimist and expect the worst) or could this just be exactly what it means. Should I pursue this casual relationship or is this guy just a douche?
—Guest the badger duchess


I was really confused, and this answered all my questions.
—Guest MawEKkIfuGw

Casual Dating

My mother had gender biased views of casual dating. If my brother went out he was sowing his wild oats but if my sister or I were out we were floozies. So rediculous esp after what our father told us about her. Can any one say low self esteem?
—Guest Sexy Swede

Casual Dating: Just Like the Bachelor!

For someone who isn't necessarily looking for a relationship (got out of a 7-year relationship two years ago... happily single), casual dating can mean your Friday nights aren't as lonely. Don't get me wrong, I love to veg out sometimes in front of the idiot box like the rest of north America, but I view casual dating as a great way to continue to go out and have a good time without the idea of commitment (and all the related emotions wrapped up in that) floating around your head. I have dated others casually for about a year now, and while many of them didn't end up panning out as someone I would pursue something serious with, it was fun and I made some great friends out of it. However, I also think you have to be careful, because (especially to parents and older family members) casual dating can make you seem like a player (or a slut... sorry ladies). It is an unfair assessment, but easily made if you casually date too many people in quick succession.
—Guest Brandon De Hoyos


What i think about casual friendship is that some of them might result in a stable one
—Guest GS

Casual Dating

What makes a relationship CASUAL is the non-involvement of Sexual experience. A casual relationship can involve business commitment, visiting sharing thought and experiences and even counselling. It will remain a casual dating until it involves sex. Thank you
—Guest Ludare

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Readers Share the Positives and Negatives of Casual Dating

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