After hearing word that the Australian reality TV show The Farmer Wants a Wife was must-see dating television, I decided to take a peek earlier this evening. I was quickly hooked: a couple of hours later I'd already managed to watch all six episodes. I found the show was not only surprising in its humanity, but also in how meeting someone, dating relationships and the issues they pose are similar no matter where you live.

The premise of The Farmer Wants a Wife is simple: six single, full-time farmers are looking for long term relationships via the show. Women were invited to apply for the show via the Australian website, and of those who put themselves up for grabs, the farmers chose ten to meet in person. An hour or so later and a bunch of speed dates under their belt, the men are asked to whittle the list down to five each. After a group date the numbers are further reduced to two, and these women are invited back to the individual Romeos' farms for a 10-day farming "vacation".

Almost immediately upon arriving, chemistry and attraction come into play. One couple in particular fell head over heels in love almost instantly, and instead of creating a tear-filled and drama-laden show, the obviously third-wheel women quietly leave the farms early, wishing the lovebirds farewell and many good intentions. Not only were the women who chose to leave a breath of fresh air, but I found them to be excellent, upstanding role models for women around the world. Either there was a connection or there wasn't, and those who felt the special spark had no issue going with their hearts, and those who didn't were cheerful if sad upon leaving. If The Farmer Wants a Wife intention was to honor courtship at its core through an entertaining and very public television show, the original Australian version definitely succeeded.

The show was also realistic, and not everyone fell hard or was treated kindly. One gent in particular rubbed me the wrong way from the get-go; he seemed disingenuous to me, and I felt badly for the women he chose. Not surprisingly, this guy created more drama than all of the other participants combined by dropping bomb after bomb throughout all six episodes, leaving several women hurt and confused as to why he'd even come on the show in the first place.

Series Two of the Australian series is already in the works, and the Americanized spinoff just started airing last week. Unfortunately, the US show seems more like a reality TV version of Nicole Ritchie's The Simple Life than anything (to me), losing the freshness, spirit, integrity and hope of the Australian original.

Have you watched either version of The Farmer Wants a Wife? What did you think?

In a recent dating question, a Nicky asks, "I recently told a coworker that I was attracted to him. He feels the same. We have had sex, which was great, and we plan on seeing each other when I return home from school. We have a ton in common, feel completely at ease with each other, we were friends before we were intimate. The problem is, he has a girlfriend who he lives with and has been dating for two years. I was fine with being friends with benefits but we talk every day and can't wait to see each other. Should I stay in this and see if he leaves his girlfriend, or am I asking to get my heart broken?"

In a word, yes, you are asking to get your heart broken - especially if you believe that the "problem" is his girlfriend, and not the fact that you are sleeping with a man who is supposedly in a committed, live-in relationship. I realize these next words are so often mentioned that they seem trite and not very helpful, but they bear repeating: Someone who will be unfaithful with you, will have no issue cheating on you. So even if the gent does leave his girlfriend for you, you've got a huge uphill battle ahead. Few relationships (if any) can thrive with this kind of background.

You say you have no issue with the friends with benefits relationship, which isn't a problem if that's all you are looking for. But asking if your heart might be broken with this arrangement tells me another story: that you want more, but aren't quite ready to admit it, even to yourself.

My advice? The talking every day needs to stop, as does the friends with benefits arrangement. Being coworkers may make this a bit more challenging, but nevertheless it needs to occur. Sever all interaction. If he asks why and you feel the need to give a reason, let him know you feel you've made a mistake and need some space. Don't answer his calls, emails or any other methods of communication. If he's The One for you, he'll understand that he needs to break things off with his girlfriend, move out, and spend some time alone before trying to even be friends with you again, let alone attempt a sexual or romantic relationship. And if it was only friends with benefits for him, then you've lost nothing other than a casual sex partner, which isn't hard to find with someone who is available/single if that's all you were after in the first place. As for your friendship with the gent, it may survive the situation if what the two of you shared was strong to begin with before you became intimate, but do yourself a favor and steer clear of him for at least a couple of months.

What do you think? Do you have any advice for Nicky?

_{Image © Benis Arapovic / stock.xchng}

Have a dating-related photo you think is perfect for Wordless Wednesday? Send me an email.

It's not often that I get an email advising me that an online dating site is closing its doors. And yet, earlier today, I received this:

After much consideration we have decided to end the LoveHappens service. You may continue to use LoveHappens until May 31, 2008. After May 31, 2008 you will no longer have access to LoveHappens. We hope you enjoyed using LoveHappens as much as we enjoyed making it for you and we wish you love and success in the future.

I had to go log into the site to remind myself which site it was; I'd joined in 2004 for some dating quizzes, but never actually met anyone from the site, even though the concept was interesting. I think because, at the time, it was a pay-per-use site, and I preferred sites like Lavalife where only the person contacting me had to pay. Free dating sites like Plenty of Fish weren't around in full swing then.

So R.I.P LoveHappens. Thanks for the winks and giggles.

_{Image © Michal Zacharzewski / stock.xchng}

Have a dating-related photo you think is perfect for Wordless Wednesday? Send me an email.

I'll admit I have a bit of an unhealthy attraction to Sex and the City, even years after its initial release. It was one of the first television shows I identified with, and even though she was single and struggling with her on-again, off-again relationship with Big, a small part of me wanted to be Carrie Bradshaw. Ok, minus the NY living and shoe fetish.

So I've eagerly anticipated the Sex and the City Movie, which is supposed to hit theaters May 30th, 2008. Few details have been leaked up until this point, other than a short mock up of the trailer (which I wrote about here: Sex and the City Movie Trailer). But now, finally, a preview has been released! iVillage has the scoop.

In the preview, someone admits to having an affair, a la "It only happened once, it meant nothing," another lovely lass is finally expecting a long-anticipated baby, one is supposedly getting married, and the last says she doesn't believe in marriage, but botox is a whole other conversation. Fans of of the show will probably be able to figure out who's who quite easily. There also seems to be some debate as to whether or not Big and Carrie will end up together in the fairytale ending (surprise surprise), and Charlotte's adopted daughter also makes a quick appearance.

Do you have any predictions for the Sex and the City Movie based on the trailer and preview? What do you think will happen to Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda and the rest of the cast?

It's rare that a dating question riles me up, but today someone posted a question in the dating forums has me steamed.

I don't normally hit my girlfriend but when she starts bitching at me but I just can't stand it anymore. The woman just deserves a smack when I don't want to deal with her. How do I make my girlfriend stop nagging me?

I answered his question already with a standard "break up and get help" reply, but I think there is a greater issue and debate at stake here. Yes, the poster could just be a schmuck looking to rile me and the other dating forum members up, and it is unlikely that he actually smacks his girlfriend around when she annoys him. But - what if he does? Just the possibility will keep me up tonight.

And its entirely possible that he's serious. If I look at recent studies, dating violence is still a silent yet rampant destructive force in many dating relationships. One U.S. Department of Justice report stated that 20 out of every 1,000 women between the ages of 16-24 have experienced dating violence. Another posted in the Journal of Contemporary Justice showed 34% of all college students have experienced dating violence in a previous relationship, and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence contends that 71% of rape or sexual assault victims knew their offenders.

These statistics all hit close to home for me personally, as I too have also experienced dating violence first hand. Approximately five years ago, a man I met from a dating site followed me home unawares and forced himself on me. Luckily one of my upstairs roommates heard my cries for help and intervened before anything serious happened. My first serious relationship was also a physically abusive one, which pains me to this day since I'd always thought of myself as too smart to endure any dating violence whatsoever. By the time I realized I was in danger however I was trapped. I was able to extricate myself when several coworkers noticed my sudden behavioral change and called the police.

Because of my own personal experiences, I have to wonder how many victims of dating violence are suffering in silence. I know that anytime I've answered polls on this subject, I forget that I was once a victim myself, thereby underreporting and skewing the final results somewhat. How many others - men and women - have done the same? I can only imagine there are more men who are underreporting than women, considering the added shame involved.

So with this in mind, I will do everything in my power to determine if the dating forum poster is just pulling my chain or if he is actually a violent man who thinks "occasionally" hitting his girlfriend is okay when she nags him too much. But you tell me. What would you do?

Related Content:

• Dating Violence
• Textathon Raises Awareness to Reduce Dating Violence in Youth
• Anti-Violence Resource Guide

_Sources:

U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. (2001) Special Report Intimate Partner Violence and Age of Victim, 1993-1999. Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office.

Dating Violence: Facts. Retrieved April 24, 2008 from http://www.ncadv.org/files/datingviolence.pdf

C. Sellers and M. Bromley. "Violent Behavior in College Student Dating Relationships," Journal of Contemporary Justice. (1996)

Welcome to the second edition of the Dating Blog Carnival, where we review some intriguing and/or thought-provoking posts about dating from around the blogosphere. There were a lot of submissions this week, but only a select few made it through. Feel free to comment and let me know what you think.

Marc Basile is starting off the week with Kissing Tips posted at The Incurable Romantic. Marc's blog posting is more of a how-to than anything, which I found quite interesting since there are few writers who will actually go into the nitty gritty details, whether it is a friendly, mistletoe-induced or romantic kiss.

Next up isMadeleine Begun Kane's smile-enhancing Ring Of Truth (Limerick) posted at Mad Kane's Humor Blog. Honestly, it'll take you longer to read my run down of her post than it will to read it. It's a lovely little love limerick.

That concludes this edition. To submit your blog post to the next dating blog carnival or to apply to be a host, please review the dating blog carnival guidelines.