Sandboxes asks, "I am 47, "Bob" is 39. We connected using 'Are You Interested' on Facebook and he added me as a friend. Then it turned out we have a mutual friend in his brother-in-law. I told Bob I am attracted to him and would like to meet for a coffee. Bob says he doesn't "see a match".

Two weeks ago Bob abruptly announced he just started dating someone and "it's serious". Despite this, Bob told me in the past he's too shy to approach women and he waits for them to ask him out. From what I can see of his profile, Bob is a serial dater and has children from two previous relationships. He just seems to be lost without a woman in his life and he frequently adds new women he meets on "Are You Interested".

My question: What is Bob's problem? I've told him I'm interested. He knows what I look like. He knows my background, schooling, etc. His brother-in-law has met me, knows my reputation, and in fact told me that Bob was talking about me at a family get-together recently. But Bob would rather date other women. Are all men this confusing, with mixed messages and rules that only they know?"

Sandboxes, I'm going to be blunt: Bob doesn't have a problem. You do. Why are you investing so much time and energy into a man who, by your own admission, isn't dateable nor interested? He made it clear from the start when you asked him out that he didn't see a match. How is that playing by dating rules only he knows? Sure, the rejection hurts. Yet he was honest, and I've lost count of the women who have told me throughout the years, "Why couldn't he just tell me he wasn't interested?"

Well, Bob did, but you didn't want to hear it. So what's a guy supposed to do? He's in a serious relationship now. Leave him alone, stop using Facebook to check his status, and stop analyzing why he's doing whatever he's doing. In Getting Past Your Breakup, Susan J. Elliot wisely suggests that each time you think of an ex (in this case, a man you're attached to that hasn't reciprocated) you say to yourself, "It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter." Because really, he doesn't matter. You do.

Its time to start prioritizing your needs, not some man's that you barely know. Break your bad love habits, and find some new ways to feel good. After a few weeks, you'll forget completely about Bob and will have a better relationship with yourself to offer someone new.

Related: Relationship Expectations, Am I Ready To Date Again?, Dealing with Unfinished Business, When Not To Date.

The Meetcha Live blog talked about divorce being catchy earlier in the month (see: Have you caught the divorce bug?) but I hear more about 'taking a break' than anything else these days. The problem is, most folks don't really know what taking a break really means, which leads to more heartache than I have time to counsel.

One reader summed it up for me nicely the other day: "Taking a break means not cutting ties to each other, but postponing the relationship temporarily to see where things are at." I like the definition, other than the 'see where things are at' part, because its vague and doesn't list specifics.

To me, taking a break means taking a step back from a relationship that isn't meeting one or both partner's needs, and reviewing how the relationship fits into their life picture over the long term. Its about re-evaluating or redefining the relationship without the stress of the relationship itself.

The problem with 'taking a break' is that few people actually define what it means for their relationship. Does it mean one or both of you can see other people, or do you not want to muddy the waters with more? Can you contact each other (like texting), or do you really take a break from interacting on all levels? When does the break end, and how will either of you know it? What outcome(s) are one or both of you hoping for from taking a break, and do both parties know it?

The only book I've read that tackles this touchy subject is one I've talked about briefly earlier this month: Don't Break Up, Make Up by Dr. Bonnie Weil (Buy Direct). In it, Weil suggests that couples she counsels take a break to save their relationship, and outlines specific requirements to ensure everyone's needs are met. For those of you currently taking a break, I highly recommend it.

But what about you? Have you ever taken a break? Why? What happened? Was the outcome positive, or worth it to you? Why or why not?

Related: Take a Dating Break, What Not To Do After a Breakup, Can You Break Up to Make Up?

How To Recognize Love shared by Her Babycakes (Share Your Love Story)
"It had only been a peck on the lips but I felt like the luckiest guy on Earth."

Does Speed Dating Work shared by datingjoe (Share Your Thoughts About Speed Dating)
"By giving you fewer dates, for a longer period of time, the event worked much better."

How To Recognize Love shared by Kristen (Share Your Love Story)
"I felt so light headed like I was floating on air."

How I Knew He Was Cheating shared by Tara (Share How You Knew Your Partner Was Cheating)
"In the end, he got what he deserved, a nice slap across the face."

How To Recognize Love shared by crazy for you (Share Your Love Story)
"I feel crazy butterflies when I see him, he's the only one that is there when I'm with him, and it's just indescribable, a feeling some people would doubt."

Free Dating Ideas shared by Loretta Belle (Share Your Favorite Free Date Idea)
"Watching the submarine races" is the euphemism for making out with some soft music playing while sitting in your car."

Free Dating Ideas shared by SuzyScorp (Share Your Favorite Free Date Idea)
"We would love to stroll hand in hand as we walked along one of the many beaches to choose from."

Who Pays For a Date shared by Midea (Share Your Thoughts)
"I don't know what world you live in, but in my world men always pay, 1st date, 2nd, 10th, whatever."

Breakup Songs shared by joemauer13 (Share the Breakup Songs That Got You Through It)
" I also like "Walk Away Renee" by The Left Banke and "Breakeven" by The Script. "

Kristen asks: "For the past month I've been dating the perfect guy for me (who also happens to be my ex boyfriends friend...). Well he just told me he can't see me anymore because within the past week he has started talking to his ex fiance again! They've been broken up for 3 years and during that time she has been nothing but malicious towards him and done whatever she could to spite him! I don't understand why this is happening now?! He tells me how much he likes me, but that he's already been through everything with her! I want to know from your past experience, does getting back together with an ex work? Do I still have a chance with this guy?"

I've answered Kristen's question (see: My Perfect Guy Wants Someone Else), but I'm curious as to what you all think. Is there a chance of Kristen and her boyfriend getting back together, or is she better off on her own?

Related: Why Won't He Be My Boyfriend?, Is He Afraid of Commitment?, Getting Back Together With an Ex.