When I was in the later stages of school, there was a painful list that circulated amongst my peers: the hottest girl list. I sadly never made the list, and although most of the folks who both created it and were on it are now on my Facebook page, I couldn't imagine ever posting it on Facebook - even many years later.
Fast forward a decade (or two) and the hottest kid in class list has morphed to a hook up list: a list of people that you want to get with (depending on your definition of a hook up) with a timeline as to when and where, as well as dates/places as to where the deed(s) occured. The first thought that crossed my mind when I heard of hook up lists was: should anyone ever get a hold of such a list and do something, er, unsavory with it? Mortifying.
And yet, this is exactly what happened somewhere in small town America a few weeks ago according to Nerve.com. (Warning here folks: most of the graphic language has been blanked out, but the link might still be offensive to more sensitive readers).
In a nutshell, there are two siblings in this story: Katie and Chris. Chris was busted via his sister for having alcohol in his room and was grounded for three months. In retaliation, Chris rifled through Katie's things, found her hook up list, posted it to Facebook, and then tagged all of the gents in the list. (For those who don't use Facebook, you can post an image or note on Facebook, and then attach people's names/user names to the item so that it appears in their timeline and for their friends to see).
I don't agree with what young Chris did by any means; the damage done by this sort of behavior can't be undone. But I do think, even with the possibility that someone might find it, that hook up lists are an important part of growing up - as well as staying safe sexually. Why? Because by keeping a hook up list, not only are we detailing our crushes and dreams in journal-like form, but we're keeping track of our partners, irregardless of whether or not penetrative intercourse took place. And if someone is engaging in some sort of sexual contact with more than one partner at a time, this kind of list could prove invaluable should an STD be the outcome of said adventures.
But what do you think? Are hook up lists important, icky, or something in between? Did/do you have a hook up list? Why or why not?
Related: Safe Sex 'Passport', How To Talk About Safe Oral Sex, Before You Have Sex.
Where are these children’s parents? One has booze in his room and the other has a list of boys she wants to have sex with, both are stupid. The parents must be so not proud.
Hi Bonny,
We never had a hook up list, though it was widely but secretly aknowledge who was the ‘fittest’ girl in school. The best looking lad tended to be the ‘hardest’ kid in school. I guess these two were meant to hook up, but didn’t.
Does this forum promote teen sex? Your STD links on the blog look like it does.
@ Cuzi – Forum? This is a dating site, that discusses all aspects about and related to dating and relationships. The link is to one of my colleagues who received her Doctorate from the Mucosal Protection Lab at Johns Hopkins University, and also serves Guide to STDs for About.com. I’m not sure why you feel the link promotes teen sex; the STD main page currently shows a picture of two seniors and discusses how to talk about safe sex with aging parents.
I’m at a loss as to where you got the idea that any of this was ‘promoting’ teen sex.
Lol! I think Hook up lists are quite naughty.
However, I have to admit I had one when I was at college! I know, I know
Thanks for the post.
I’ve never heard of the hook-up list, but you can’t blame Chris here – an eye for an eye and that. And she shoul have had a better hiding place (I always found the pockets of clothes hung up in my cupboards was a good one).
Interesting. I would have been afraid when I was younger to make one of these ‘lists’ for fear someone from my family would find it!
WHAT A STORY A HOOK UP LIST DOES IT GO LIKE THIS WHERE’S THE CAPTAIN?WHAT ABOUT THE SHARK?THE FLYING PEOPLE,MEN IN JAMMIES!GIRLS WITH,GLASSES?WATER I SAY LIKE ANOTHER IN A SEAT YEA,ALL THE WAY WEST.
the kid is a legend, end of story
I agree 100%.
I don’t think having a hookup list is okay. Because simply, kids, young kids, shouldn’t be doing that at all. They’re too young. And having multiple partners? Erm, isn’t that a little bit… how should I say this? BAD? Relationships with no commitments… aren’t that great. Or that, or maybe American kids are weird like that.
I wish I did things like this when I was that age. Damn American prudes trying to ruin everyone else’s lives.