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Bonny Albo

First Date Impressions

By March 30, 2012

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A recent Ohio State University study has confirmed what many of us single folks already know: that first impressions count more. Among other things, the research found that when someone betrays another early on in their interaction, it is more challenging to overcome than if the same thing occurred later on.

Those participating in the study were asked to play a game with another person (unknowingly to them, a computer program), deciding whether or not to cooperate or compete early on in the interaction. Those subjects who were competed against in the first two rounds of the game were more angry and found their 'partner' less trustworthy, as opposed to the subjects whose competition occurred later on. As well, the unhappy folks were more likely to fight with their computer generated counterparts in the last ten rounds of the game.

But how does this information translate to the dating world? Simple. If you have to cancel at the last minute with someone you're either just meeting or have only interacted with once or twice, know that you're facing an uphill battle. In fact, any transgressions during those first few crucial meetings will be more harshly judged than if they took place several months down the road.

Related: First Date Tips, First Date Ideas, Great Pickup Lines.

Source: Huston, Matthew. "Best Face Forward." Psychology Today April 2009 Vol 42, No 2:32.

March 26, 2009 at 7:45 pm
(1) David Gideon says:

A great way to prevent a woman from canceling a date is to pre-emptively tell her that you don’t like girls who “flake” on plans. Ask her is she’s “flaky”. She’ll say “no” and she’ll be less likely to cancel due to the principle of commitment and consistency.

David Gideon

April 3, 2009 at 4:17 pm
(2) Trent says:

I like David’s answer. But yes, I think everyone knows that first impressions mean absolutely everything and not just with relationships.

April 5, 2009 at 5:01 am
(3) Style says:

david gideon, if you tell a girl that u hate girls that a “flaky”…she will assume uve had experience being flaked on. Statistics may show that it is less likely for her to cancel due to commitment,but good luck on the second date. Try other ways to find her to commit, like telling her uve moved a meeting to make time to hang out.

April 7, 2011 at 1:03 pm
(4) JH says:

I agree! Kind of controlling and I wouldnt think much of your comment but – context is lost here. If she’s flaky and cancels then isnt it better to know now and move on rather than hope you can “fix” or change her behaviour?

April 15, 2009 at 1:44 pm
(5) filipina girl says:

Hhhm…Telling her like that may make her think that she is an important person to him so you will get an advance points from her. Your advice Style sounds effective because as we all know ladies really want an attention. You have a nice style Style.

April 7, 2011 at 12:10 pm
(6) Pulseguy says:

Let your dates be exactly as they are. You can’t love someone if you don’t know who he or she is. The quicker you know who she is, the better. If she is too flaky for you, move on. All these maneuverings will only backfire.

April 16, 2011 at 4:07 am
(7) Laban says:

What you see determines your step to take more than what you hear. Very much true. I personally have a sincere experience on these.

April 6, 2012 at 9:42 pm
(8) DG says:

The only thing that I must make a comment on is to be yourself
and also allow the lady to be herself..You will soon learn within
a date or few, if this is the right partner for you…do not ask anyone
about “flakyness”…Noone wants to hear that word…In fact I think
it would be a “turnoff” for me…

May 9, 2013 at 11:00 pm
(9) Michelle B says:

First impressions matter most, so never waste that opportunity.

Smile: Be happy. If you are smiling, he will probably smile right back.
Listen: Guys notice if you remember something they said earlier. No man wants to feel like his date isn’t paying attention.
Focus: Be present. Don’t play with your phone. Using your phone on a date is a turnoff for anyone. Only use your phone for a call or text that absolutely cannot wait until the date is over.
Be positive: Nobody really likes to be around negative people (especially not when just starting to date.)

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