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Bonny Albo

Kamikaze Dating

By November 20, 2012

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No, it's not my term. Rather, a recent first date of mine brought the idea to fruition, and named his suggestion as such. What was it?

The night started rather innocuously. It was a Saturday evening, and I was randomly checking my email before settling in to watch some long-forgotten show, and get some knitting finished up. A note from OkCupid popped up, and I decided to click on the message in the moment. Why not?

It was a note from a gent I'll call muse, sporting a 91% match connection with my profile, asking me if I wanted to join him for a last-minute sojourn to a country-punk band, in a less-than-savory part of town. "Definitely!" I thought, because I'm the kind of gal who loves spontaneity and a non-definable genre of music. I replied, and twenty minutes later I pulled up to a safe-looking parking garage, and met my date-to-be in the rain outside the club.

"They're sold out," he said, "and I was only able to get one ticket, so I sold that one back to someone else. How about we go find something else down the street to look into?"

And so, we did. Fifteen minutes turned into four hours, and Mr. Muse coined the term "kamikaze date". Although we weren't a love match (I determined I'm just not ready to date yet), I do feel like I made a great friend, and we continue to speak a few weeks after that first encounter. In fact, the last time we hung out, I suggested he try setting up all his first dates in that manner, because it both suited his nature perfectly and would attract the kind of gal that would appreciate his sense of adventure. Mr. Muse made a point however, in that some women might not appreciate the idea that a last-minute date request would somehow imply they were just sitting around, waiting for a phone call to go out. My answer? "Pshaw! Then they aren't right for you."

What do you think, dear readers? Would you go out on a kamikaze date? Why or why not? Or, have you, and how did it turn out? Would you do it again?

Related: Totally Free Date Ideas, Fall Date Ideas, Creative Date Ideas.

November 20, 2012 at 8:45 pm
(1) Heather says:

Yes! But I would be a little worried that he suggested to go to a different place, kind of screams set up for bad deeds…it worked out great for you though!

November 21, 2012 at 8:48 am
(2) Bruce says:

I’ve used this method before and have had good results. Not all women I’ve asked out thus way have said yes, but that was their loss. I use this method because I often discover great activity ideas last minute. It definitely helps determine if your date has an adventurous side to them.

December 9, 2012 at 9:07 pm
(3) Rubes says:

I love the idea of kamikaze dating! Although I think it’s unfair to assume that anyone who turns the asker down is unworthy – prior plans or say, as in my case, a young child who obviously can’t be left home alone, doesn’t mean that the person wouldn’t normally want to be spontaneous.

January 21, 2013 at 12:05 pm
(4) Sally says:

I’ve never heard the term “kamikaze” dating.. but I definitely prefer immediate date proposals… and I’m known to make them myself… (you don’t have to be a guy!).

For example, a guy will send me a message on OK Cupid and I will respond saying “hey, I was planning to do xyz tonight, want to come?”

(I find that when I make the proposition out of the blue I’m not so successful…. better to let the guy make the first move, heh).

I don’t have the patience or interest to chat with someone on the internet before meeting. I’d rather just meet face to face, the sooner the better!

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