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Bonny Albo

How Do We Move From Friends To Dating?

By March 22, 2013

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xlanlfc asks, "I have a friend who I have gone out and done things with (as friends) for about five years. I have a huge crush on her and think we are very compatible. I'm ready to take this relationship to the next level. Why haven't I hit on her before? She is a little overweight. Don't bother me none, but my friends, well, they might think differently. So I haven't hit on her. But I'm over that now. If they don't like it, tough, because I really really like her. I'm ready. So what's the problem? I haven't hit on her in the five years we have been hanging out. I just don't know how to proceed."

What do you think? Any suggestions for this 44-year-old single parent?

Do you have a difficult or frustrating dating question? Then fill out the dating advice submission form to have your question answered here.

March 15, 2008 at 3:31 pm
(1) Kitty says:

Tell him to go for it. Very slowly and gently. Give her time to adjust and understand the change in the relationship. Today never comes back again.

March 16, 2008 at 1:12 pm
(2) Joanne says:

my openion, if ur a female, and you find one day you have feeling for him, other than friendship, you just tell him an a gentle way how you feel, but don’t ‘hit’ (flurt) with him. but do it before ur feeling get strong, then if he feels the same way, my guess is, he will let you know.

March 19, 2008 at 6:25 pm
(3) Jam says:

I am kinda of in the same situation but she is married (unhappily). I am currently separated. I really like her but I know I cannot get in the middle of a marriage. All I can do is be there for her and be a friend. My advice is to go for it before she moves on emotionally. Sometimes things are right in our face and we miss it!! I would bring it up as a “what if” question and see what she says. Good luck!!

March 20, 2008 at 4:44 pm
(4) Rene says:

Now if you have something in your heart then my advice is don’t hold it back. It will only give you a sense of unfulfilment.

March 21, 2008 at 8:18 am
(5) Hiba says:

I think you should hurry and tell her your feelings toward her,maybe she has a crush on you as well and she’s just waiting for you to do the first step…Try to invite her for something romantic,to watch a movie together for ex.
If she’s a good friend,she will surely understand your situation,she will either accept your crush or reject it but your friendship will always remain.
I think you should tell her to feel good…And since it’s too early,she might become involved in a relationship or she might get married and you will regret not telling her so bad.
Good luch dearest!

July 8, 2008 at 4:36 pm
(6) Nanou says:

proceed with caution, ask y ourself why you find yourself liking her at this moment? are you single and feeling like she could be the one because she is a female that has kinda always been there, or is it genuine, if it is, thast great, because you 2 already know each other, you should just sit her own and let her know how you feel, if she doesnt reciprocate, it won’t change alot on her part, of course you will feel awkward and hurt but you will be able to move on from that if the friendship is very strong. good luck

December 12, 2009 at 6:55 pm
(7) jenna says:

You’ve got to change how she perceives you. Theres a lot of research on this and you’re probably familiar with the term “friend zone”. This is where we women put you when we don’t view you in a sexual way aka we’re not attracted to you.

To get out of this zone can very difficult. You have to change how you act around us so we can view you as some one we’d like to be intimate with and not just as a buddy.

One way to do that is to begin to use subtle innuendos in conversation. Gentle teasing, but with a sexual undertone. That helps us to know that you are starting to view us in a different light!

March 11, 2011 at 8:38 am
(8) Sharon says:

Take your time and wait for the best moment to hit on her with lots of confidence and charm.

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