Have you ever had a date that was so fantastic, so perfect, that you were on cloud nine for days (or even weeks) on end - just to have the other participant disappear? I know I have, and I've heard more than a few folks of late both asking for dating advice and posting in the dating forums about this very topic. I find the disappearing date phenomena seems to come in waves, in that I get a lot of questions about the topic around the same time every year.
Its not an easy question to answer either, i.e. "Why didn't he call me back?" or some variation thereof. There are so many variables to the question - how long have you been dating, did anything weird happen on your date, do you know if there is any behavioral history along these lines, have you been intimate - that there is no one-answer-fits all. But what I can say is this: there is always a reason why someone doesn't call back after a great date, and it likely has little to do with you.
Rachel Greenwald has written an excellent book the topic called, "Why He Didn't Call You Back: 1000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date." The book isn't just for women trying to understand why her date disappeared though, as there is a chapter that outlines women's top five dating deal breakers too. But the meat of the book discusses the main reasons why a guy won't call you back - even if things seemed amazing during the date - and how to prevent the same thing happening over and over again to you. Are the pointers surprising? Definitely. Will some women find the comments shared by some of the men quoted in the book abrasive? Without question. But if you've struggled with disappearing date syndrome in your life of late, its a book I highly recommend.
I should note however that I did read some of the chapter headings to a male friend of mine, who promptly said, "That's common sense for any guy. Trust me." So, if you can't get a copy of the book for whatever reason, ask your male friends about their biggest turn offs on a date, and why they wouldn't call a guy back.
But what about you? Have you ever not called someone back after a seemingly good date? Why? Or if you've been the one waiting for the call back that never came to be, how did you deal with it?