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Bonny Albo

How Long Should I Wait for a Date?

By May 14, 2013

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Diane asks: "I have been chatting with this one guy for over two months now. I have hinted, and came straight out about meeting for a drink, and he always uses his sense of humor to get out of it. Should I keep chatting or just say later alligator? I even gave him my cell phone, and he does not call, but emails me everyday. Help?"

Diane, I'm really surprised that you've kept hanging on this long without a date, so let's come at this from a different perspective. If you meet a guy and you're interested in getting to know him better, can you think of any logical and reasonable reason why you'd put them off for two months?

Of course you couldn't, because you wouldn't. So why would you read into someone else's behavior any differently? Now, I wouldn't go and tell the guy something rude or upsetting like you've suggested. In fact, I suggest investing nothing else into this man. Don't chat with him, don't reply to his emails (set up a filter to throw them in the trash immediately if it helps), and don't spend one more second wondering why he won't go on a first date with you. Focus your energies elsewhere, and soon enough you'll meet a guy who is as eager and excited to meet the amazingness that is you, as you are him.

But, dear readers, what do you think? Have you been on either side of this situation, and what did you do?

Related: He's Just Not That Into You, Is He Into You Quiz, Does He Like Me as a Friend or More?, Is He Still Interested?

May 31, 2010 at 5:05 am
(1) The Continuum says:

But Bonnie, maybe he ‘just wants to be friends’. Heeee!

June 3, 2010 at 5:59 pm
(2) wayne pauluk says:

My guess is that he’s married or involved with someone. Maybe he is really shy. He could even be pretending to be him (Could be 15, or 75, or a woman). I can’t see any reason to keep wasting time on him.

May 5, 2012 at 6:56 am
(3) Online Nursing Program Detroit MI says:

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May 17, 2013 at 8:20 pm
(4) Patty says:

Absolutely….move on and forget him

May 23, 2013 at 4:33 pm
(5) Stuart Smith says:

Maybe he is too shy and trying to know you better before meeting up?
Just ask him one more time – does he have an answer ?
If yes then you know
Obviously you like chatting to him. You do need an answer before just blocking him out completely!!!
Have you spoken on the phone? or is it just email and chat?

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