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Dating Advice: Should I Date When I Don't Have a Job?

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Q: "I am currently not working, but am in between jobs and looking. I believe online dating is the best vehicle for finding someone, but I don't think any woman would be interested in a guy who is jobless, so I have been holding out till I can secure a job. This is tough though because I am lonely and tired of not being in a relationship. Should I post an online dating profile anyway taking the slim chance that there is a lady that would respond, or should I continue to hold out until I am not longer jobless (whenever that may be)?"

A: In When Not To Date, I've listed joblessness as one of several reasons why people should hold off on finding someone new - at least for a little bit anyway. So my first reaction is to suggest you wait until you've landed a job and gotten settled before posting an ad on an online dating site.

Having said that, if you aren't suffering financially and if you feel a job is pending shortly, it can't hurt to post an online dating ad to get the ball rolling. If that's the case, here's what I suggest:

  • Make sure you are ready to date. It may be wiser to hold off on posting a profile if you haven't already worked through past relationship issues.

  • Be honest. If you decide it is a good time to write a dating profile then don't leave out important details that may sway someone from contacting you. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean you need to say you are currently without work(you could probably hold off on this information until date #2), but at the same time you may want to avoid answering the income demographic question if you aren't generating any cash at the moment.

  • Focus on free. Use free dating sites where possible. If they don't net you the kind of people you are looking for, maybe look at one inexpensive pay-per-use site but nothing more. Then when you meet someone you want to get to know better, try to focus on frugal date ideas. Dating should be fun, but it shouldn't break your budget.

Ask Bonny is a dating advice column that focuses on relationship issues. If you have a question that relates to the dating community, please fill out this dating advice submission form.

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