No one wants to be in a bad relationship, but few of us are given the tools to fix relationships that aren't working. What follows is an in-depth but extremely effective way creating a healthy relationship, one step at a time. Whether the two of you are on the verge of breaking up, or if you just feel something is amiss and needs to be looked at further, the words that follow are meant to get you out of your rut and have you enjoying your relationship again.
However, healing your relationship means that you'll have to review how you've contributed to the problem - and what you need to to do fix it. Not what the two of you need to do, or even what your partner should do. Essentially, fixing a bad relationship means reconnecting with yourself.
Bad Relationship Fix #1: Determine What's Going On
When asked, few people can explain what's wrong with their relationship. They can explain in great detail what has happened, and who has done what to whom however! But hashing out the details doesn't move your relationship forward. Instead, it places blame, creates anger and induces anxiety, none of which are conducive to your goal of a healthy relationship. As well, you need to diagnose the problem so as to troubleshoot, accept responsibility, and fix it.
Bad Relationship Fix #2: Accept Responsibility
Bad relationships don't just "happen". Like healthy relationships, bad relationships are born, fed and nurtured into becoming what they are. Therefore, in order to fix a bad relationship, you must first look at how you've contributed to the problem as well as accept responsibility for your actions, intentional or otherwise.
Bad Relationship Fix #3: Review Your Relationship Myths
Most people believe that there are dating rules with which to follow to ensure a healthy relationship. And for the most part, there are. Where the problems lie are not in following these dating rules, but rather in following the wrong rules: myths, preconceived notions or outright falsehoods.
Bad Relationship Fix #4: Erase Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
Everyone has self-sabotaging behaviors. Whether or not your relationship succeeds depends on how well you are able to identify them, review the reasoning behind them, and conquer them. And creating a healthy relationship is dependent on you outlining these destructive behaviors with the intent of demolishing them.
Bad Relationship Fix #5: Adopt New Relationship Rules
Once you've moved past your relationship myths and self-sabotaging behaviors, your next step is to replace these defeatist actions and thoughts with positive, self-supporting and healthy rules to enable the kind of relationship you've always wanted.
Bad Relationship Fix #6: Create a Healthy Relationship
Moving to this stage of the relationship healing process means you've adopted some new ways of thinking, being and doing, and are now ready to start putting your work into action. It also means finally taking stock of both you and your partner, and what each of you needs and wants in a healthy relationship.
Bad Relationship Fix #7: Reconnect Lovingly
Finally its time to reconnect with your partner, and maybe even fall in love again. No more writing things down in your journal or working things out in your head. The insight you've gained will now be put to work to help both of you get what you need and want in your relationship. That being said, this last step definitely isn't easy, and it takes a considerable amount of time. But if you truly do want a healthy relationship with your partner, this last step is essential to ensuring success.