Whether you've been together two weeks, two years, or two decades, sometimes you want to feel more intimately connected to your partner and have the rush of falling in love all over again. Yet few of us were taught the skills needed to connect with another person, much less rekindle love. Using a concept shared by Robert Epstein, Ph.D. in an article he wrote for the January/February 2010 edition of Scientific American Mind, you'll learn how to fall in love all over again with your partner using a simple breathing technique.
- Time Required: Five minutes
- Props Required: None
- Space Needed: Quiet, dim, without fear of interruption
- Clothing: Whatever you feel comfortable in
Step One To Fall In Love Again
Begin by looking your partner in the eye and letting him or her know that you want to spend a few minutes together and need their undivided attention. Do whatever the both of you need to get comfortable, whether that's dimming the lights, changing your clothes, having a drink of water or just sitting down.
Step Two To Fall In Love Again
Tell your partner you'd like to hug for five minutes, and during that time you want to try and synchronize your breathing so that the both of you are inhaling and exhaling at the same time. Realize that you might burst into a fit of giggles - this is normal - and accept that if its been a while since your partner and you felt like you were falling in love that this might be uncomfortable for one or both of you. Say it out loud if you feel the need.
Step Three To Fall In Love Again
Set a timer for five minutes. Smile at your partner, and then hug him or her making sure that your bodies are in line so that you are essentially pressed up against each other. If you do what I call the "A-frame hug" where one or both of you are throwing your hips back so that less of your bodies are touching, the exercise won't be as effective.
Step Four To Fall In Love Again
Hug each other for a full five minutes, trying to match each other's breathing rates and depth. You'll know when you've found your groove because the hug will shift and feel differently than it did at the start. Don't be afraid to laugh, cry or giggle if the mood strikes you - with some people this fall in love exercise can be very emotional.
Step Five To Fall In Love Again
When your five minutes are up, slowly detach and sit down facing each another. Share individually how you felt during the hug, and investigate whether or not the hug changed how you feel about your partner, and vice versa.
Some partners find that one hug rekindles love, whereas for others it takes a bit more time. Spend a week together practicing this fall in love hug every day, and notice how by week's end your mood towards each other has shifted.