Bryan asks: "I am a 53 year old recently divorced man getting back in the dating game. My problem is I can easily pass for being in my late 30's. I am fit, toned and dress younger than most men in their 50's. I don't feel much different than I did when I was 30, and younger women are attracted to me. Should I start dating younger women? What happens when they find out my true age? I am attracted to younger women because I still have the vigor and attitude of a younger man. Am I an old fool?"
How Would You Answer This Dating Question? Dating Younger Women Comments
Why Dating Younger Women Is So Appealing
There are a lot of reasons why people in general are attracted to folks who are considerably (10+ years) younger than themselves: to feel young again, to feel attractive to someone still in their reproductive prime, to enjoy the rush that youth provides (as opposed to the jadedness or anger some of us wear as we get older), and to feel proud that someone young and desirable is on our arm. From this angle I understand completely why someone would want to start dating younger women, yet I struggle with the implications on a larger scale.
Older Men Dating Younger Women - How It Comes Across
From a personal perspective, I'll tell you that ever since I was 25 I've been inundated with chat request, flirtatious comments, emails and pickup lines from men in their 50s - and every single one has said something along same lines unfortunately: "I don't look or feel my age, and since I feel your age, I think we should date." The few dates I've accepted with older men quickly taught me that very, very few people actually do look younger than they are chronologically, and if I were to mention I felt a massive incompatibility or that I felt deceived by their younger-looking online photos, it was a good bet my date would either lash out at me with a litany of vile insults, attempt the friends with benefits route, or both.
A Woman's Perspective On Dating Younger Women
So for me, the dating younger women phenomena is frustrating - and not only because I have to find kinder, gentler ways of telling increasingly aggressive older men I'm not interested. The offshoot of this ever-growing trend is that men my own age are busy pursuing women in their early 20s, to the point of where its rare to find a man in his 30s or older online whole profile says anything but 'dating younger women' is what they're after, even if its just the age range that is able to contact them. And its not just me: many readers complain about the same thing, especially the 50-something ladies almost frantic with frustration, because - you guessed it - none of the men they grew up with will give them a second glance. The only age groups that generally seem happy with the dating younger women phenomena are the 40-something women (because they are dating younger men), and the single 70+ men (who are in high demand because of sheer lack of numbers).
Older Men Dating Younger Women Bottom Line
Having said all of that (don't worry, my rant about dating younger women is over), you do say that younger women are attracted to you. If that's truly the case, I don't see what the problem is. If these women know you are 53 and don't have an issue with it, the only complaint I hear is society's take (which shouldn't matter if you look the same age as the women you are dating, because 'society' would never know you were dating younger women anyway by looks alone). But if you're lying about your age or withholding your age? Sooner or later it'll come out in the open, and don't be surprised if the relationship ends because of it. Few single women today will tolerate deceit in any form, especially the 30-somethings you would like to date.
The Realities Of Dating Younger Women - With Tips And Suggestions
Is dating younger women impossible? Definitely not. My Dad was 14 years older than my Mom, and a close female friend of mine has been dating a man almost twenty years her senior for seven years. May December romances happen all the time in fact - but like any good relationship, they have to start with a foundation of respect and honesty. I say start gradually meeting people while doing the things that you already love. Try not to focus so much on their (or your) age, but rather how they make you feel about yourself and whether or not you find any mutual attraction between the two of you. Do something different than most of the 50-something men out there that are dating younger women - or trying to - and you might just rise above the pack and find someone amazing, irregardless of when either of you were born.